Seven things you must avoid in your Waleematu-Nikkah

Written by Sadiq bin Mas’uud

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

الحمد لله والصلاه والسلام على رسول الله أما بعد:

1⃣ *Israaf*

You want people to eat Biryani, kebabs, Chinese rice, Hmmm!! So don’t do israaf (wastage)

وَكُلُوا وَاشْرَبُوا وَلَا تُسْرِفُوا إِنَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ الْمُسْرِفِين

Eat and drink, but waste not by extravagance, certainly, He (Allah) likes not those who waste by extravagance).

(Surah Al-Araf, Verse 31)

2⃣ *Wedding pictures*

Must you show the world you have a beautiful spouse? Or you think keeping the wedding pictures to keep the memory alive is a nice and dandy idea? Picture this hadith in your mind first,

ﺇﻥ ﺃﺷﺪ ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ ﻋﺬﺍﺑﺎ ﻋﻨﺪ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻳﻮﻡ ﺍﻟﻘﻴﺎﻣﺔ ﺍﻟﻤﺼﻮﺭﻭﻥ

The most severely punished people on the Day of Resurrection would be the image-makers. [Bukhari and Muslim]

3⃣ *Music*

Planning on playing and inviting *Ayeloyun* to entertain your guests with Islamic Music? Think twice. Islam has no music.

” ﻟﻴﻜﻮﻧﻦ ﻣﻦ ﺃﻣﺘﻲ ﺃﻗﻮﺍﻡ ﻳﺴﺘﺤﻠﻮﻥ ﺍﻟﺤﺮ ﻭﺍﻟﺤﺮﻳﺮ

ﻭﺍﻟﺨﻤﺮ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﻌﺎﺯﻑ ..

“Among my ummah there will certainly be people who permit zinaa,

silk, alcohol and musical instruments…” (Narrated by al-Bukhari)

4⃣ *Tabarruj*

Looking good on the day of your nikkah is a good idea, but if you must make up, then use niqab

وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ وَلَا تَبَرَّجْنَ تَبَرُّجَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ الْأُولَى

“And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the time of ignorance.” (Surah Al-Ahzab, Verse 33)

5⃣ *Inviting only the rich*

This will make your nikkah food to be the worst ever, because the needy people (poor) are prevented from it

ﺷَﺮُّ ﺍﻟﻄَّﻌَﺎﻡِ ﻃَﻌَﺎﻡُ ﺍﻟْﻮَﻟِﻴﻤَﺔِ ﻳُﻤْﻨَﻌُﻬَﺎ

ﻣَﻦْ

ﻳَﺄْﺗِﻴﻬَﺎ ﻭَﻳُﺪْﻋَﻰ ﺇِﻟَﻴْﻬَﺎ ﻣَﻦْ ﻳَﺄْﺑَﺎﻫَﺎ

 “The worst food is the food of a wedding banquet in which the rich are invited, but the poor are left out.” Source: Sahih Muslim

6⃣ *Ar-riyaa*

My nikkah must be the talk of the town, it must have no similitude!!! That’s riyaa (show-off), why not do it to please the lord of the world?

ﻳﻘﻮﻝ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﺰ ﻭﺟﻞ ﻷﺻﺤﺎﺏ ﺫﻟﻚ ﻳﻮﻡ ﺍﻟﻘﻴﺎﻣﺔ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺟﺎﺯﻯ

ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ: ﺍﺫﻫﺒﻮﺍ ﺇﻟﻰﺍﻟﺬﻳﻦ ﻛﻨﺘﻢ ﺗﺮﺍﺀﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺪﻧﻴﺎ ، ﻓﺎﻧﻈﺮﻭﺍ ﻫﻞ ﺗﺠﺪﻭﻥ ﻋﻨﺪﻫﻢ ﺟﺰﺍﺀ ؟

Allah the Exalted will say to them (who show off), on the Day of Resurrection when the people are being rewarded for their deeds: Go to those whom you wished to show off in the world and look for your reward with them.” (Musnad Ahmad Hadith 23119)

7⃣ *Imitating the kuffar*

Using a wedding gown, engagement ring, free mixing with the opposite sex, kissing in public, are all imitations of the kuffar and the Prophet SAW says,

َ ﻣَﻦْ ﺗَﺸَﺒَّﻪَ ﺑِﻘَﻮْﻡٍ ﻓَﻬُﻮَ ﻣِﻨْﻬُﻢ

“ْWhoever imitates a people is one of them.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, Hasan Sahih)

أقول قولي هذا أستغفر الله لي ولكم

BarakAllahu feeh

We hope your waleematu-nikaah will be free of all those things.

Fear of Salaf from the temptation posed by women

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Fear of Salaf from the temptation posed by women: Their piety and fear of Allah made them really scared of women.

Maymoon Ibn Mehran says RH: “Being entrusted to look after Baytul Maal (treasures of the whole country),  would be easier for me than being told to look after a woman” (siyar a’alam 5/77)

Ataa said: “If I was entrusted with the treasury I would prove to be a trustworthy person, however, I wouldn’t trust my ego with a woman even if she was not good looking” (Siyar 5/85)

Saeed Ibn al Musayyib says: “Whenever satan loses hope from deviating someone, he approaches them from the women’s side.

Then Saeed said while he was 84, one of his eyes had gone, and the other eye was watery: “The thing that scares me most is (looking at) women.” (Siyar 5/285)

Ibn Umar radiallahu anhu says: “It is part of the people abandoning the trust that they peep inside rooms and houses.”

Salman Farsi radiallahu anhu says: “To die and then be resurrected then die again and be resurrected, then die again and be resurrected would be easier than looking at the satr (private) of someone or that someone looks at my satr.”

Humayd Ibn Hilal says: “Among us, there was a man named Aswad Ibn Kulthum. When he would walk, his gaze would never exceed his feet. There were some chambers of a palace along the way, in which there would be some women who would have removed their headgear or part of their clothes. When he would be approaching, they would feel scared and rush to cover themselves, then they would say ‘Oh! It’s only Aswad Ibn Kulthum!'”

One of the saliheen was asked: “Where should we search for you in the hereafter?” He replied: “Among those who will be looking at Allah swt” They asked: “How can you be so certain about that?” He replied: ” Because I used to lower my gaze from forbidden stuff in the world and because I used to refrain from all sins and indecencies” (Lataaif 299)

Wakee’ RH says: “We came out with Sufyan Thawri on the day of Eid. He said: “The first thing we do today is keeping our eyes low.”

Hassan Ibn Abi Sinaan RH went out for Eid. When he returned, his wife kept pestering him “How many beautiful women did you stare at today?” When she dragged it too much, he replied “Woe unto you! Since I left home and until I returned, my eyes never moved from my toes”

Alaa Ibn Ziyad RH says: “Don’t stare at even the upper garment of a woman, because staring incites desire into the heart.”

Ibrahim Ibn Ad’ham said, “Always looking at unlawful things, takes away the recognition of Haq from the heart.”

💧خوف السلف من فتنة النساء💧

فعن أبي المليح سمعت ميمونا – أي بن مهران – يقول :

” لأن أوتمن على بيت مال أحب إلي من أن أوتمن على إمرأة ”.

📚  سير أعلام النبلاء (5/77)

و عن عطاء قال :

” لو ائتمنت على بيت مال لكنت أمينا ولا آمن نفسي على أمة شوهاء ”، قلت – أي الإمام الذهبي – : ” صدق رحمه الله”.

المصدر السابق (5/ 87-88)

و ذكر الإمام الذهبي أيضاً :

”عن سفيان بن عيينة ،عن علي بن زيد، عن سعيد بن المسِّيب، قال : ما أيِسَ الشيطان مِنْ شيء إلا أتاه مِن قِبَل النساء .

ثم قال لنا سعيد ـ وهو ابن أربع وثمانين سنة وقد ذهبت إحدى عينيه وهو يعشو بالأخرى :ما شيء أخوف عندي من النساء”.

المصدر السابق (4/237)

و ذكر أيضا : ” عن سلَّام بن مسكين :حدثنا عمران بن عبد الله الخزاعي قال: قال سعيد بن المسِّيب: ما خِفْتُ على نفسي شيئاً مخافةَ النساء ،قالوا: يا أبا محمد! إن مثلك لا يُريدُ النساء ،ولا تُريدُهُ النساء ، فقال: هو ما أقول لكم. وكان شيخاً كبيراً أعمش.

المصدر السابق (4/241)

عن أنس – رضي الله عنه – قال :

إذا مرت بك مرأة فغمض عينيك حتى تجاوزك .

📚 (الورع لابن ابي الدنيا /72).

عن إبن عمر – رضي الله عنه – قال :

من تضييع الأمانة النظر في الحجرات و الدور .

📚 (الورع لابن ابي الدنيا /71).

عن قيس إبن الحارث قال : قال سلمان –رضي الله عنه – :

لأن أموت ثم أنشر ثم أموت ثم أنشر ثم أموت ثم أنشر أحب إلي من أن أرى عورة مسلم أو ـن يراها مني .

📚 (الزهد لأحمد /192)

عن حميد بن هلال قال كان منا رجل يقال له الأسود بن كلثوم و كان إذا مشى لا يجاوز بصره قدمه و كان يمر وفي الجدر يومئذ قِصرٌ و هناك نسوة ولعل إحداهن تكون واضعة يعني ثوبها أو خمارها فإذا رأينه راعهن ثم يقلن : كلا إنه أسود بن كلثوم.

📚 (الزهد لأحمد /256).

قال حاتم :

الشهوة ثلاث شهوات : شهوة في الأكل ، وشهوة في الكلام ، وشهوة في النظر ، فاحفظ الأكل بالثقة ، واللسان بالصدق ، والنظر بالعبرة .

📚  (شعب الأيمان للبيهقي 5/5712).

قيل لبعضهم : أين نطلبك في الآخرة ؟ قال :

في زمرة الناظرين إلى الله ، قيل له كيف علمت ذلك ؟ قال بغضي طرفي له عن كل محرم ، و باجتنابي فيه كل منكر و مأثم .

📚 (لطائف المعارف /299).

عن وكيع قال :

خرجنا  مع سفيان الثوري في يوم عيد فقال : إن أول ما نبدأ به في يومنا غض ابصارنا.

📚 (الورع لابن أبي الدنيا/66).

International Men’s Day

PIERS MORGAN’S ADVICE ON INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY: Don’t let hypocritical radical feminists turn men into a bunch of neutered, grovelling, blubbering doormats, ladies – or we’ll ALL live to regret it

By PIERS MORGAN FOR MAILONLINE

PUBLISHED: 17:20, 19 November 2018 | UPDATED: 18:36, 19 November 2018

I have a confession. I am a man. The worst? I’m actually proud to be a man and I like being masculine

I have a confession to make.

This isn’t easy, and I’ve taken a long time to summons up the strength to do it.

I’m aware that just by admitting to what I’m about to admit, I will subject myself to all manner of global shame and ridicule.

I’ll be taunted, abused, shunned and reviled.

But as Sir Winston Churchill once so rightly said: ‘You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.’

OK, here goes…

I am a man.

Yes, on International Men’s Day 2018, I am hereby identifying as the biological sex that I was born to.

This alone is enough to risk making me a social pariah these days, but that’s not even the worst of it.

I’m a man who’s actually proud of being a man, and who also likes being MASCULINE.

Sorry.

I realise this is a horrendous thing to say, and I can only offer my insincere apologies to all the radical feminists now exploding with rage as they read my shocking statement.

If there’s one thing they loathe even more than the M-word, it’s the longer M-word.

But why?

Masculinity simply means ‘having qualities or appearances traditionally associated with men.’

That’s it, nothing more sinister.

Yet thanks to women of radical feminist persuasion who’ve gleefully hijacked the #MeToo and #TimesUp campaigns to serve their own man-hating purpose, masculinity has become the most controversial, detestable word in the English lexicon.

And it’s now impossible to be ‘masculine’ without also being accused of ‘toxic masculinity’.

Radical feminists (here’s Madonna in her shirt touting her ‘radical’ position) have hijacked the #MeToo and #TimesUp campaigns to serve their own man-hating purpose, masculinity has become the most controversial, detestable word in the English lexicon

Even Prince Charming whisking Cinderella off from captive hell to a life of happiness is an evil that must be expunged from society – led by furious Keira Knightley and her ultra-feminist knights in PC armour.

‘Cinderella waits for a rich guy to rescue her,’ she sneered. ‘Don’t. Rescue yourself! Obviously!’

Fine empowering words until you remember that the Prince gallantly saved Cinderella from abuse and slavery and they genuinely loved each other.

Then it doesn’t seem quite so ‘obvious’, does it?

One of the very worst of the many terrible things about radical feminism is the scourge of pathetic male virtue-signallers that urge them on.

As an obvious (or so I thought..) tongue-in-cheek joke this morning, I tweeted: ‘Happy #InternationalMensDay! Stay strong lads, we’re not illegal – yet.’

Most people reacted in the way I would react if someone else had tweeted that – by laughing.

Others weren’t so amused, bombarding me with hateful abuse about my supposed ‘toxic masculinity’.

A man named Box Brown, who has a verified Twitter account and claims to be a New York Times best-selling cartoonist, replied simply: ‘Die.’

How laughably hypocritical; this angry little clown races to attack what he presumably perceives to be my aggressive maleness, yet does so by saying he wants me dead.

Hypocrisy is sadly a prevalent theme with much of modern feminism.

The likes of Kim Kardashian and Emily Ratajkowski have both built hugely lucrative careers out of stripping off in the supposed name of ‘feminist empowerment’.

Hypocrisy is sadly a prevalent theme with much of modern feminism. Kim Kardashian and Emily Ratajkowski have built lucrative careers out of stripping off for ‘feminist empowerment’

When in fact what they’re really doing is selling nudity and sex.

I have no problem with that – just don’t pretend it benefits any other woman or is anything that Emmeline Pankhurst and her Suffragettes would have ever done.

They were too busy risking their lives to win women the right to vote than to have time to writhe naked in spaghetti and ludicrously claim they were doing so to liberate womankind.

When I say this kind of thing, women ask me to cite an example of what I consider real feminist empowerment.

So let me give you one from yesterday when a 17-year old German girl driver named Sophia Flörsch was competing in her first Formula 3 World Cup race at the Macau Grand Prix.

The race featured male and female drivers, and she qualified purely on merit.

On the fourth lap, she struck another driver’s car as she approached a bend at 175mph.

The collision caused Sophia’s car to spin out of control and catapult several hundred yards through the air into a wall.

It’s the most horrifying car crash I have ever seen, and everyone who watches it would presume she must have died.

But Sophia lived, despite fracturing her spine.

And within a few hours, she tweeted: ‘Just wanted to let everybody know that I am fine but will be going into surgery tomorrow morning. Thanks to everybody for the supporting messages. Update soon.’

No fuss, no playing the victim.

Can you even imagine the scale of self-pitying hell that would be unleashed on the unsuspecting public if any of the Kardashians had a minor 25mph car prang today in which they broke a diamond-encrusted toenail?

Sophia has an incredible talent for driving a car, and incredible courage too. She is a rising star in a male-dominated sport determined to prove she can mix it with the men and I applaud her for it.

THAT is true feminist empowerment – not flipping the bird in topless selfies to millions of impressionable young girls.

While I joke about International Men’s Day, of course I understand and appreciate there is a very serious side to it too.

The stats tell the grim story: 76% of suicides are men, 85% of homeless people are men, 70% of homicide victims are men, men serve 64% longer in prison and are 3.4x more likely to be imprisoned than women when both committed the same crime.

So it’s not all a patriarchal bed of roses being a man.

But I fully accept that women have historically been treated unfairly in terms of equality, and that many women continue to be treated unfairly.

I also fully accept that women have been subjected to far more harassment, sexual abuse and domestic violence than men.

That is where the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements have performed a valuable public service in highlighting and exposing genuinely bad, unacceptable and in some cases criminal behaviour.

In fact, I don’t know any of my male friends who wouldn’t agree with that.

However, what I refuse to accept is that all masculinity is therefore now automatically a bad thing or that being a man is suddenly something to be ashamed about.

Nor do I believe that most women actually want the kind of neutered, emasculated, papoose-clad, permanently apologising doormats that radical feminists are trying to make us become.

Let me therefore offer some friendly advice from a man who loves women:

Men like me don’t want to hear that universities (and one in Wales, UK actually did this,.) have banned the word ‘mankind’ because it’s offensive to women, not least because ‘women’ itself contains the word ‘men’.

We don’t want to be told we can’t appreciate a female star’s beauty because it’s offensive to feminists, then see feminists like Ellen de Generes openly objectifying famous men’s bodies at awards shows – to no complaint.

We don’t want to be informed that James Bond has to stop hitting on women because it’s now deemed politically incorrect, especially as none of the women he ever hits on seem to be anything but ecstatically thrilled about it.

We don’t want to be disapprovingly frowned at for opening doors for women or standing up for them on trains or when they walk into a room, or paying the bill for dinner if we want to. Chivalry is a good, not oppressive thing.

We want to pride ourselves on being a protective modern day hunter and provider, in whatever capacity that manifests itself to the benefit of a woman or family – without promptly being labelled a ‘dinosaur’ or ‘caveman’.

We’d like to preserve the right not to be seen blubbing in public every five minutes just to prove we’re in touch with our emotional side.

In short, we’d just like to still enjoy being men if that’s OK?

Just as we’d like women to enjoy being women.. and yes, for gender-fluids to enjoy being men AND women if that makes them happy.

The best conversation I’ve had about all this was with the singer Annie Lennox who said it was ‘important to bring men with you’ on the feminist journey.

‘But,’ she cautioned, ‘the debate has to be less hostile to men for that to happen.’

Exactly.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/11/19/today-international-mens-day-busy-denigrating-males-celebrate/

You probably didn’t know that today is International Men’s Day. After all, it doesn’t receive much publicity, despite having been celebrated on this day since 1991. International Women’s Day is a different matter. That you will have heard of, and may well have taken part in. We all agree that we need to celebrate and promote women.

But, by the same token, we need to celebrate men. Even just a little. And, today is the best time to question our reluctance. I invite you, for example, to ask yourself the last time you read an article praising men. No, not an article praising one man (like an explorer, carer, sportsman or teacher), nor an article about a group of men, such as a team of rescuers or medics.

I’m talking about men as a whole. Cast your mind back. You can’t remember, can you? Indeed, have you ever read such an article?

And yet you’ll be familiar with articles praising women. According to recent media reports, women are better than men at working under pressure, taking financial responsibility, teaching, managing people, caring, driving, showing stamina, raising money, being surgeons, being doctors and being engineers. And those are just the ones I found through a quick Internet search.

In summary, women are better at lots of things. But men, it appears, are better at, well, nothing. No wonder there’s a crisis of masculinity.

Some might say that there darn well should be a crisis of masculinity, given the horrendous revelations of sexual harassment and assault over the last year. Why should we give men any credit at all, given what we’ve learned?

It’s an understandable view. Sexual harassment is horrible and unforgiveable. If anyone harassed or assaulted a woman or girl in my family, the red mist would descend more quickly than you could say ‘metoo’. But how many men are guilty? One in five? One in ten? A small minority, certainly. Yet, we seem to be blaming men in general.

According to the narrative, men can only be the baddies. Last month there was even a debate about whether hate crimes against men should be recognised. Just think about that: we accept because it is obviously right to do so, that misogyny is disgusting. Yet we are ready to pontificate about whether hate crimes against men are even worthy of our attention.

And while we are right, of course, to strive for equality between men and women at the top, where men still dominate, we should also cast an eye lower down, where there are twice as many homeless men as women, ten times more male than female prisoners, and three times more men than women who commit suicide. Oh, and a million children are growing up without their fathers.

In her speech in Downing Street upon becoming Prime Minister, Theresa May said her priority would be to help the disadvantaged, pointing out that “If you’re a white, working-class boy, you’re less likely than anybody else in Britain to go to university”. Two years on, nothing has changed.

Yet, we still think the male gender is always the nasty gender.

Consider the men you know – family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances.  Most of them, like most women, have great qualities. Up and down the Britain, millions of them care for their families, are loyal to their friends, work hard and behave as decent citizens. They are not an abusive, privileged elite. They are good people with noteworthy qualities.

So, let’s recognise them. Today’s their day.

10 Green Hadith

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

10 Green Ahadith

By Muhammad Fathi

1 Muharram 1440

Did the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) say anything about saving our planet? Did he promote any ideas or practices relevant to the world’s growing concern about the future of the earth and its resources?
Below is a collection of the Prophet’s Ahadith
 
Plant a tree even if it is your last deed:
1. Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “If the Hour (the day of Resurrection) is about to be established and one of you was holding a palm shoot, let him take advantage of even one second before the Hour is established to plant it.” (Reported by Ahmad and Al-Bukhan on the authority of Anas in Al Adab Al-Mufrad,)
 
Planting trees is a renewable source of hasanat:
2. Anas also reported that the Prophet said, “If a Muslim plants a tree or sows seeds, and then a bird, or a person or an animal eats from it, it is regarded as a charitable gift (sadaqah) for him.“ (Bukhari)
 
Conserve resources even when used for rituals:
3. Abdullah ibn Amr ibn Al-`Aas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet passed one day by Sa`d ibn Abi Waqas (May Allah be pleased with him) while he was performing wudu’ (ritual cleaning of body parts in preparation for prayer). The Prophet asked Sa`d, “What is this wastage?” Sa`d replied “Is there wastage in wudu also?” The Prophet said, “Yes, even if you are at a flowing river.” (Ahmad and authenticated Ahmad Shakir)
 
Keeping environment clean is important:
4. The Prophet warned, “Beware of the three acts that cause you to be cursed: relieving yourselves in shaded places (that people utilize), in a walkway or in a watering place.” (Narrated by Mu`adh , hasan by Al-Albani)

5. Abu Zarr Al-Ghafari (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Removing harmful things from the road is an act of charity (sadaqah).” (Narrated by Abu Dharr Al-Ghafari)
 
No for over-consumption! Consider recycling and fixing before buying new items:
6. Abdullah ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet said, “The believer is not he who eats his fill while his neighbor is hungry.” (Saheeh al-Bukharee (112))

7. Asked about what the Prophet used to do in his house, the Prophet’s wife, `A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), said that he used to repair his shoes, sow his clothes and used to do all such household works done by an average person. (Sahih Bukhari)

8. The Prophet said, “Whoever kills a sparrow or anything bigger than that without a just cause, Allah will hold him accountable on the Day of Judgment.”  The listeners asked, “O Messenger of Allah, what is a just cause?” He replied, “That he will kill it to eat, not simply to chop off its head and then throw it away.” (An-Nasa’i)
 
Animals should be cared for:
9. Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet said, “A man felt very thirsty while he was on the way, there he came across a well. He went down the well, quenched his thirst and came out. Meanwhile he saw a dog panting and licking mud because of excessive thirst. He said to himself, “This dog is suffering from thirst as I did.” So, he went down the well again, filled his shoe with water, held it with his mouth and watered the dog. Allah appreciated him for that deed and forgave him.“ The Companions said, “O Allah’s Messenger! Is there a reward for us in serving the animals?” He replied: “There is a reward for serving any living being.” (Bukhari)

10. Abdullah ibn `Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet said, “A woman entered the (Hell) Fire because of a cat which she had tied, neither giving it food nor setting it free to eat from the vermin of the earth.” (Bukhari)

The pen is closest to my heart, so may Allah make a means of hidayat for me and a change for all. In sha Allah…
Ameen

The most beautiful answer on Gender Equality.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Something of topic.

Long article, but worth it.

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Questioner: Sarah

Reply Date: Apr 24, 2017

Question:

On March 18, 2005 Amina Wadud led the first female-led Jumu`ah Prayer. On that day, women took a huge step towards being more like men. But, did we come closer to actualizing our God-given liberation?

Consultant: Yasmin Mogahed

Answer:

Salam Sarah,

Thank you for your inspiring question!

Well, answering your question, I can say that I don’t think so.

What we so often forget is that God has honored women by giving them value in relation to God—not in relation to men. But as Western feminism erases God from the scene, there is no standard left but men.

As a result, the Western feminist is forced to find her value in relation to a man. And in so doing, she has accepted a faulty assumption. She has accepted that man is the standard, and thus a woman can never be a full human being until she becomes just like a man—the standard.

When a man cut his hair short, she wanted to cut her hair short. When a man joined the army, she wanted to join the army, and so on. She wanted these things for no other reason than because the “standard” had it.

What she didn’t recognize was that God dignifies both men and women in their distinctiveness, not their sameness. And on March 18, Muslim women made the very same mistake.

For 1,400 years, there has been a consensus of scholars that men are to lead prayer. As a Muslim woman, why does this matter? The one who leads prayer is not spiritually superior in any way.

Something is not better just because a man does it. And leading Prayer is not better just because it is leading.

Had it been the role of women or had it been more divine, why wouldn’t the Prophet have asked Lady `A’ishah or Lady Khadijah, or Lady Fatimah—the greatest women of all time—to lead?

These women were promised heaven and yet they never led prayer.

But now, for the first time in 1,400 years, we look at a man leading prayer and we think, “that’s not fair.” We think so, although God has given no special privilege to the one who leads. The imam is no higher in the eyes of God than the one who prays behind him.

On the other hand, only a woman can be a mother. And the Creator has given special privilege to a mother. The Prophet taught us that heaven lies at the feet of mothers. But no matter what a man does, he can never be a mother. So why is that not unfair?

When asked who is most deserving of our kind treatment? The Prophet replied “your mother” three times before saying “your father” only once. Isn’t that sexist? No matter what a man does, he will never be able to have the status of a mother.

And yet even when God honors us with something uniquely feminine, we are too busy trying to find our worth in reference to men, to value it or even notice it. We too have accepted men as the standard; so anything uniquely feminine is, by definition, “inferior”.

Being sensitive is an insult, becoming a mother is a degradation. In the battle between stoic rationality (considered masculine) and selfless compassion (considered feminine), rationality reigns supreme.

As soon as we accept that everything a man has and does is better, all that follows is just a knee jerk reaction: if men have it, we want it too. If men pray in the front rows, we assume this is better, so we want to pray in the front rows too.

If men lead prayer, we assume the imam is closer to God, so we want to lead prayer too.

Somewhere along the line, we’ve accepted the notion that having a position of worldly leadership is some indication of one’s position with God.

A Muslim woman does not need to degrade herself in this way. She has God as a standard. She has God to give her value; she doesn’t need a man here.

In fact, in our crusade to follow men, we, as women, never even stopped to examine the possibility that what we have is better for us. In some cases, we even gave up what was higher only to be like men.

Fifty years ago, we saw men leaving the home to work in factories. We were mothers. And yet, we saw men doing it, so we wanted to do it too. Somehow, we considered it women’s liberation to abandon the raising of another human being in order to work on a machine.

We accepted that working in a factory was superior to raising the foundation of society—just because a man did it.

Then after working, we were expected to be superhuman—the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect homemaker, and have the perfect career. And while there is nothing wrong, by definition, with a woman having a career, we soon came to realize what we had sacrificed by blindly mimicking men.

We watched as our children became strangers, and soon recognized the privilege we’d given up.

And so only now—given the choice—women in the West are choosing to stay home to raise their children. According to the United States Department of Agriculture, only 31 percent of mothers with babies, and 18 percent of mothers with two or more children, are working full time.

And of those working mothers, a survey conducted by Parenting Magazine in 2000, found that 93 percent of them say they would rather be home with their kids, but are compelled to work due to “financial obligations.”

These “obligations” are imposed on women by the gender sameness of the modern West and removed from women by the gender distinctiveness of Islam.

It took women in the West almost a century of experimentation to realize a privilege given to Muslim women 1,400 years ago. Given my privilege as a woman, I only degrade myself by trying to be something I’m not, and in all honesty, don’t want to be—a man.

As women, we will never reach true liberation until we stop trying to mimic men and value the beauty in our own God given distinctiveness.

If given a choice between stoic justice and compassion, I choose compassion. And if given a choice between worldly leadership and heaven at my feet, I choose heaven.

I hope my words answer your question. In case you have any comment or you need more about the topic, please don’t hesitate to contact us again.

Thank you and please keep in touch.

Salam.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuSJfbflScw

Honey

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Why Does Raw Honey Crystallise, Set Or Become Solid

by Latin Honey Shop 16 December 2017

Why does my honey have sugar in it? Has it gone bad? Why has my honey separated into solid and liquid layers?

These are some of the questions that we are commonly asked by customers trying raw honey for the first time.

You can’t blame them. Think of the last time you went to the “honey” aisle in a supermarket. Didn’t the “honey” look like a clear, thick, runny liquid? Not a single crystal in sight?

We say “honey” because supermarkets do not sell honey, they sell a processed sugary syrup that looks and tastes like honey… but it is not honey.

Why does raw honey crystallise?

Raw honey, which is honey that has not been heat-treated or filtered, is basically a solution high in natural sugars. The two main natural sugars in raw honey are fructose and glucose.

The ratio of fructose to glucose varies from honey to honey. Since honey is a natural product, honey from the same hive might have more fructose and less glucose one year and then the next year it might have less fructose and more glucose.

The balance of fructose and glucose in raw honey determines the speed and type of crystallisation of honey.

Glucose, which occurs naturally in raw honey, is what crystallises because it is less soluble than fructose. Fructose is more soluble than glucose so it remains fluid.

Honeys with a higher fructose content crystallise slower than honeys with a low fructose content.

Why do some raw honeys separate into two layers?

Some honeys form fine crystals that swim around in the liquid honey. Other honeys form heavier, denser crystals which sink to the bottom separating the honey into two layers.

Honey with a high pollen content crystallises quicker, forming dense crystals. This is because as the natural glucose in the honey begins to crystallise it latches onto the pollen and begins to clump around it.

These honeys tend to be set or solid at room temperature.

So speedy crystallisation is sometimes proof that the honey is raw and unprocessed.

Why does supermarket “honey” stay runny for a long time?

Supermarket “honey” is not honey. It is a solution that was once honey but has been heat-treated and filtered to extract the glucose out of the honey. The fructose remains, which is highly soluble, and thus more likely to remain liquid.

Sometimes supermarket “honey” crystallises because remnants of glucose in the “honey” begin to crystallise.

Does crystallisation mean the honey has gone bad?

Crystallisation does not affect raw honey one bit except changing its colour and texture. All the beneficial nutrients and enzymes in the raw honey remain after crystallisation.

In fact, crystallisation actually preserves the taste of the honey and makes it easier to use. The crystals release different flavours as they melt in the mouth and it is easier to spread on toast or to eat straight from the spoon.

Does crystallisation mean that sugar has been added to the honey?

This is a question we are frequently asked. As explained above, honey is a solution of natural sugars. Quite why someone would want to add more sugar to something that is already sweet is something we have yet to understand!

How can I transform crystallised honey into runny honey?

Simply put the jar of raw honey into a container of hot water for a few minutes until the honey warms up and the crystals dissolve.

However, take care to ensure that the temperature of the honey does not exceed 37C (body temperature) otherwise you will start to kill off the beneficial living nutrients in the honey.

So next time you see a jar of raw honey that has begun to crystallise, or separate into two layers, treat it as a gift and take it as proof that it is in fact raw, unprocessed honey.

And if you are still not convinced that crystallised raw honey tastes better than the completely runny version, try our Raw Organic Rainforest Honey from Brazil. It has delicious crystals that release different flavours as they melt in your mouth!

latinhoneyshop.com: single origin gourmet honey from the exotic parts of Latin America

Seven Reasons Why Raw Honey Is Good For You

by Latin Honey Shop 03 December 2017

Most people know that raw honey is good for you in some way but they don’t really know how or why.

Here are seven quick reasons why raw honey is good for you.

Remember that raw honey is different to supermarket “honey”. Supermarket “honey” is not really honey because it has been heat-treated and filtered, leaving it with hardly any goodness.

1. Raw honey has a low glycaemic index (GI)

The glycaemic index is a ranking of carbohydrate foods according to how they affect blood glucose levels.

High GI foods spike the blood glucose level quickly in a process that triggers the body into storing more fat. Examples of high GI foods are potatoes, white rice, white bread, processed (white) sugar, white pasta.

Low GI foods provide a steady stream of glucose into the bloodstream, which allows the body to use this energy efficiently without storing it as fat. Low GI foods include porridge, lentils, beans, wholegrain foods and honey.

2. Raw honey contains enzymes that help to digest food

Raw honey contains enzymes, natural substances that break down food so it can be better absorbed by the body.

Some of the enzymes naturally occuring in raw honey include diastate, invertase, glucose oxidase, peptidase and others.

3. Raw honey destroys harmful bacteria in the body

Raw honey contains hydrogen peroxide, which destroys harmful bacteria upon contact.

4. Raw honey contains probiotics that enhance digestion

Raw honey contains probiotics, living bacteria that are beneficial to the body. When raw honey enters the body it floods the digestive system with probiotics that enhance digestion and reduce flatulence and constipation.

5. Raw honey contains vitamins and minerals

Raw honey contains an impressive array of vitamins and minerals that the body needs to function efficiently. Unlike vitamin supplements, these occur naturally in raw honey.

6. Raw honey contains antioxidants

The body contains toxins known as free radicals that go around the body attacking cells and living tissue, causing damage and aging. Antioxidants are substances that destroy free radicals so they can no longer harm the body.

Raw honey contains a very high number of antioxidants that get to work immediately upon entering the body. Other high antioxidant containing foods include blueberries, pomegranates and broccoli.

7. Raw honey does not spoil

Bad bacteria that causes food to spoil cannot survive in raw honey. The acidity, lack of water and hydrogen peroxide naturally present in raw honey does not allow bad bacteria to go off, even after thousands of years.

In 2015, Egyptian archaeologists excavating the pyramids found sealed pots of wine, olive oil and honey. According to ancient Egyptian beliefs, these items were placed there over 3000 years ago to nourish the souls of the dead in the after-life.

The wine had gone off, the olive oil had gone but… the honey was as good as if it were harvested yesterday!

Latin Honey Shop – single origin raw gourmet honey from the exotic parts of Latin America

Lessons On Marriage

1. EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A WEAKNESS

Only God has no weakness. Every rose flower has its own thorn. If you focus too much on your spouse’s weakness, you can’t get the best out of his/her strength.

 

2. EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A DARK HISTORY

No one is an angel, therefore, avoid digging one’s past. What matters is the present life of your partner. Old things are passed away. Try to forgive and forget. The past can’t be changed. So focus on the present and the future!

3. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS IT’S OWN CHALLENGES

Marriage is not bed of roses. Every shining marriage has gone through its own test of hot and excruciating fire. True love is proved in time of challenge. Fight for your marriage! Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in time of needs. Remember this is the vow you made on your wedding day!

4. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SUCCESS

Don’t compare your marriage with anyone! We can never be equal, some will be far in front and others far behind. To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time, your marriage dreams shall come true.

5. TO MARRY IS TO DECLARE A WAR

When you marry, you must declare a war against enemies of marriage. Some of the enemies of marriage are: Ignorance, Rumours,  Prayerlessness, Unforgiveness, Adultery, Third Party Influence, Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack Of Love, Rudeness, Wife battery, Laziness, winning, nagging, PRIDE,  Divorce etc. Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.

6. THERE IS NO PERFECT MARRIAGE

There is no ready made marriage anywhere. Marriage is hard work, volunteer yourself and perfect it daily. Marriage is like a MOTOR CAR with a gear oil, gear box, etc If these parts are not properly maintained, the car will break down somewhere along the road and expose the occupant to unhealthy circumstances. – Many of us are careless about our marriage… Are you? If you are, please pay attention to your marriage.

7. GOD CANNOT GIVE YOU THE COMPLETE PERSON YOU DESIRE

God gives you, her or him in form of raw materials in order for you to mold what you desire. You may desire a woman who can pray for 1 hour but your wife can only pray for 30 minutes. With your love, prayer and encouragement, she can improve.

8. TO MARRY IS TO TAKE A RISK

You cannot predict what will happen after marriage, as situation may change, so, leave a room for adjustment. Pregnancy may not come in the next 4 years.. You may get married to her because she’s slim but she becomes a little fat after a child. He may lose his beautiful job for years that you have to take the financial responsibility of the family until he gets a new job. But with God by your side, you will smile at long last.

9. MARRIAGE IS NOT A CONTRACT, IT IS PERMANENT

Marriage needs total commitment, love is the glue that makes a couple stick together. Divorce starts in the mind. Never think of divorce! Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married! God hates divorce, though it’s permitted only in extreme cases.

10. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS A PRICE TO PAY

Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money you deposit into your bank account that you can withdrawn. If you don’t deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate of a blissful home. There is no free love in marriage, You cannot love without giving and sacrificing.

May God grant us the grace and wisdom to succeed in it. Amen!!! Send it to married and single people on your contacts list.

Anonymous

Do Women Need Feminism?

by Zara Huda Faris

http://zarafaris.com/2013/03/27/mdi-transcript-do-women-need-feminism-opening-presentation/

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

This is the official MDI Transcript of the opening presentation of Zara Huda Faris’ (Muslim Researcher and Speaker for MDI), which was delivered at the debate with Natalie Bennett (UK Green Party Leader), ‘Do Women Need Feminism’, held on 28 February 2013.
It is claimed that women need feminism because there are women who suffer injustice – but this ignores that nearly all human beings will suffer injustice at some point in their lives at the hands of other men or women – and justice for only one group of society, to the exclusion of another, is like a bird with only one wing – it just does not fly.
Men have a fundamental need for justice just the same as women do – and whilst the very word „feminism‟ discriminates, the word „justice‟ does not. Justice means giving people what they deserve or merit but, as we will see, feminism and justice are not synonymous.
Feminism is a highly ambiguous term, straitjacketing instead of liberating, it is the call for gender privilege masquerading as equality. In essence, feminism denies the human reality, it is unclear, and not a cause for justice.
Feminism is unjust
To begin. Feminists advocate that women have traditionally been dehumanised by a male dominated society, which they call the patriarchy; and that it has always been better to be a man. But this one-sided claim snubs the privileges that women have often enjoyed simply for being women.
The dynamics of society, at the most basic level, show that it has actually always been better to be a woman. Biologically, every woman counts in reproduction and perpetuating life itself – giving each woman an intrinsic worth, regardless of what she does. It only takes one man, however, for many women to have children. Historically, this gave rise to the idea amongst human societies that men are largely disposable, whilst every woman is indispensable.
This is why, instinctively, we prioritise safety and comfort for women rather than men; why women are rescued first in any emergency or disaster, and get the first seats in lifeboats; why men tend to work longer hours, risking life and limb in the more dirty and dangerous jobs like being coal miners, oil drillers, foot soldiers, construction workers, rubbish collectors, and the male relative acting as the unpaid bodyguard in the home. To quote one activist, „women are human beings whilst men are human doings.‟i This privilege is not appreciated by feminists because, as pro-feminist Michael Kimmel once said, „privilege is invisible to those who have it‟.
When it comes to violent crime, the reality is that the more violent the crime, the more likely the victim is to be a man. Men are more than twice as likely to be murdered than women in the UK.ii When it comes to domestic violence, the Guardian reported that men are the victims more than 40% of the time – excluding unreported cases – and men are half as likely to tell anyone about it in the first place.iii When it comes to the provision of refuges, there are 7,500 for females in England and Wales but only 60 for men. As for male rape victims within UK prisons, there‟s a collective state of denial – it‟s just not taken seriously.iv v Men are held to a higher standard of self-defence, so they often suffer in silence, reluctant to be re-victimised by an unsympathetic legal system or disbelieving treatment from professionals.
Yet feminists generally remain egregiously quiet about male suffering as a result of social roles. Whilst feminists seek “liberation” from the “shackles” of the traditional female role, the man is still expected to continue his traditional, disposable role. This one-sided narrative of feminism is not the way forward.
For feminists, “equality” is merely a facade to favour women, often at the expense of others. Like when former Equality Minister, Harriet Harman (a feminist) publicly requested employers to discriminate against white men and hire women instead if both candidates were equally qualified.vi Or when former Equality Minister, Patricia Hewitt, (also a feminist), was found guilty of breaching the Sex Discrimination Act by “overlooking a strong male candidate for a job in favour of a weaker female applicant”.vii
Feminists claim to seek “equality”, and call for a 40% minimum female quota on management boards, but conspicuously do not call for a 40% female quota for soldiers, prison guards, lumberjacks, miners, body guards, or construction workers – why is that? Why not campaign for an end to the „women and children first policy‟ for lifeboat rescue – why not make it first come, first served? Why not have women and men compete side by side at the Olympics – as equals? Of course, the reason feminists will not advocate this is because they are not really after equality, but the means to achieve gender privilege.
Another shocking example is the feminist campaign for closing women‟s prisons. The Fawcett Society, the UK‟s leading feminist campaign for closing the inequality gap between women and men, campaigned that female prisons did not suit women‟s needs.
So, as recommended in a report by Baroness Corstonviii, they should be closed and replaced with what is in effect, women‟s social clubs, where female offenders get to spend time with each other “organising their own shopping, budgets and cooking”, and then go home to their children at the end of each day.
The Corston Report also stated that „Women and men are different. Equal treatment of men and women does not result in equal outcomes‟, going on to claim that “women are governed by hormones and a monthly cycle, which affects their moods and emotions. […] these biological factors have a direct bearing on the way in which women experience stressful events during their lives.”

If a man were to say that about treating women differently in the workplace, he‟d be called a misogynist. Strangely, feminists are completely happy to say women are „governed by hormones‟ and cite „biological factors‟ when it comes to obtaining privileges for women.
So, for feminists, male criminals are to be punished to the full extent of the law while female criminals should get comfort and help. Why is female suffering and injustice more important than male suffering and injustice? Surely justice does not discriminate. But as we can see, feminism does! Feminists are not asking for equal treatment – but special treatment – gender privilege.
Women do not need gender privilege and therefore they do not need feminism. In reality, they, along with men, need justice – a comprehensive justice for all.
Feminism is unclear
Secondly, women need clear solutions – but feminism is unclear and evasive. Feminism comes in many different factions: conservative, liberal, socialist, post-modern, ecofeminism, and so on – with no shared value system or moral guidance, feminists do not agree on anything but the name – and will happily contradict themselves if need be. For example, feminists have no clear position for the sexual objectification of women – some feminists advocate androgynising the female appearance and others campaign for safer breast implants without adequately challenging why women feel compelled to get them in the first place.
Because feminism cannot deal with complexities, it promotes the idea of individualism instead – that women should be “empowered” through “redefining their own expectations” – and feminists are always on hand to dictate that women should make men the benchmark for these expectations. Instead of freeing women from male expectation, feminists expect free women to be male.
Feminism denies the human reality
Finally, I argue that feminism denies human reality – it straitjackets women, and does not understand or accommodate the natural proclivities of the genders.
Virtually all species, from bees to primates have different gender roles, with different biological abilities across the sexes. Yet feminists insist that any gender difference between humans is invented and there is nothing biological about men or women that should inform their social roles. Scientific studies have clearly demonstrated, however, the role of testosterone in building muscle, in increasing competitiveness, confidence and risk taking – making men better suited to the more hazardous and competitive roles of society. Because of testosterone, men naturally tend to be faster, bigger, possess more stamina and are physically stronger. So teaching a girl that she can naturally compete equally with men in everything is misleading.

One absurd example of this is when feminists, attempting to achieve equal outcomes between the sexes, had the strenuous physical tests for UK firefighters lowered and the standards relaxed in order to accommodate more female firefighters.ix
The standards you can now expect from professionals in burning buildings (and boardrooms – as I mentioned earlier), whether male or female, is now much lower than before because of feminists. It seems feminists are implicitly agreeing with Plato who said that women should be treated equally to men, except that not so much should be expected of them – leading feminists in their absurd quest for „equal outcomes‟ between the sexes, to campaign for mediocrity in the workplace rather than meritocracy.x
Feminists argue that the division of labor in traditional families constrains women’s opportunities and that women are discriminated against in getting jobs and wages, and that there exists a wage gap between the genders. However, these arguments collapse upon further scrutiny, because if employers could get away with paying a woman less for the exact same task that they could pay a man – why would they not just hire women? Furthermore, statistics cited by feminists as evidence of the wage gap, lump full-time hours in with overtime hours (of which women tend to choose to do far less than men)xi. They also average earnings from disparate jobs, like primary school teachers with investment bankers, sales engineers with chemical engineers, HR executives with finance executives. So they do not compare like for like jobs.
Nor are women discouraged from entering higher-paying fields. They outperform men at university,xii but are more likely to choose languages, arts and social sciences (which pay less), whilst men are more likely to choose engineering, technology, math and sciences (which pay more).
The division of labour once children are born, also means mothers tend to intensify their home commitments, and fathers tend to heavily intensify their work commitments. Men seem to make this trade-off more than women – perhaps because men feel more obligated to work than women do. The reality is that the statistics do not reflect discrimination but choices. If there is a „glass ceiling‟, it seems that women are the main architects of it, because they get to trade-off higher paying jobs for more flexible hours to combine work and family life, which means they not only get the benefit of the father‟s wage, but also a better work life balance for herself. Is not  that more important than arbitrarily chasing the highest paying jobs?
Feminists do not want to be thought of as sexual objects, but seem happy to be valued according to their economic worth. Both assessments are materialistic, and neither should dictate the worth of a man or woman.
The wage gap is telling in that feminists cannot deny the impact of motherhood on the woman‟s life choices – that men and women cannot live lives completely autonomous from one another – that men and women actually need each other to make a whole.
So that‟s the wage gap – but if feminists are so keen on equality, what about their silence on the cancer research gap, the education gap, the violent crime gap, the death on the job gap, the suicide gap,xiii the life expectancy gap – all of which discriminate against men?

In idolising the male and trying to create an androgynous sexuality where men and women are virtually identical except for their anatomy, feminists have perpetuated a misogynistic self-loathing for the traditional female role – motherhood, and female tenderness is now viewed as a weakness. The strength of men which can be used to lead wars just as it can be used to be fierce protectors, is often kept in check by the compassion and temperance of women. But when women abandon these qualities, and want the same aggression that they perceive in men, what will be left?
When feminists are insisting on taking over the male role, is it any surprise that men are shirking the responsibilities which they once did with pride, diligence and self-less duty? If feminists want to ‘have-it-all’, they will most likely end up having to ‘do-it-all’, often at the expense of their own wellbeing, and most importantly, at the expense of our children.
Islam
In Islam, men and women and their actions are equal in the eyes of God, God says in the Qur‟an “Never will I allow to be lost the work of [any] worker among you, whether male or female; one of you is as the other” (The Holy Qur‟an 3:195).  Islam primarily addresses men and women the same because men and women, by and large, share the same human characteristics – men and women are addressed separately only in relation to the few areas where men and women differ.
The Islamic system is not based on selfish individualism but a God-centred world view promoting mutual reciprocity. In Islam, women do not serve men, nor do men serve women. Rather, we serve God by helping each other and giving to each other based on human needs, with the understanding that humans are not all the same.
Islam guards the female from the moment she enters the world, by rebuking and prohibiting the practice of female infanticide as one of the gravest crimes to be committed. Such a religion can only go on to challenge the ill-treatment of women, and secure her wellbeing, at every stage of her life. Through property rights, marriage contracts, political participation, inheritance laws, and dress code, it advocates complimentarity with men and not competition. Marriage is the bedrock of family life and the fundamental unit of Islamic society, giving us rights and duties to one another. As a wife, she has the right to be provided for, including her own living space, and is guaranteed financial safeguards should her marriage not work out.
Yet Islam does not straitjacket women – it allows women to enter the workplace – but not out of the necessity of the struggle to support herself, but out of choice, to be pursued at her leisure. In Islam, nobody has a right over her earnings. However, Islam mandates that a man‟s earnings must be used to provide for the women of the household irrespective of whether they work or not. Furthermore, as a mother, the woman is given preference for respect from her children over their father. Such is the esteemed role she plays as the heart and soul of the family and, by extension, society.
Islam provides a clear, natural and just solution to ensuring justice for all humans, and has no need for feminism‟s vain attempts to reinvent the wheel that Islam set in motion over 1400 years ago.

In Islam, power is not a virtue – it is a burden and responsibility. Instead of seeking to empower ourselves, we should empower justice. In Islam, women are liberated from the servitude of men, and liberated from the expectations of other women. It is virtue, which all human beings, regardless of gender, career or social role, can equally strive for. In the end, true self-worth and contentment does not come through submission to any aspect of creation but rather, by submission to the Creator Himself and all that He Commands.
Zara Huda Faris- 28 February 2013
i Man Woman & Myth – http://www.manwomanmyth.com
ii Home Office Statistical Bulletin, Crime in England &Wales – 2009/10, p.51
iii The Guardian, 5 September 2010 – More than 40% of domestic violence victims are male, report reveals – http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence
iv The Guardian, 17 March 2010 – Rape is not just a women‟s issue – UK charity Mankind suggests that three in 20 men are victims of sexual violence – http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/mar/17/stern-review-male-rape (See also article on prison ombudsman – http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/may/02/male-rape-prison-jail-howard-league)
v It was also noted in a Home Office publication in 1999 that some studies of rape-case attrition had deliberately and inexplicably excluded cases of male rape. See: „Policing Male Rape and Sexual Assault‟ by Philip N. S. Rumney, Journal of Criminal Law (2008), Volume 72, Issue 1, February, (JCL 72 (67)).
vi http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7474801.stm
vii http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/female-champion-hewitt-discriminated-against-man-510584.html
viii The Corston Report, March 2007 – http://www.justice.gov.uk/publications/docs/corston-report-march-2007.pdf
ix http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1375381/Fire-service-strength-fitness-tests-relaxed-allow-women-firefighters.html. The tests were originally designed to identify candidates that could carry a certain weight over a certain distance and do other tasks involving upper body strength. Recently, however, the tests were hugely relaxed in order to accommodate more female firefighters. The ‘ladder lifting’ tests that all new recruits have to go through were made easier, and strenuous ‘beep test’ runs were scrapped. Women can also repeat fitness tests if they fail, without having to go back to the beginning.
x Plato‟s Republic (457a10)
xi Office for National Statistics – 2011 Annual Survey of Hours and Earnings (SOC 2000) – 23 November 2011
xii http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-16530012 – More women than men were studying for degrees in 2010/11 (57%). 66% of degrees awarded to women were either firsts or 2:1. The figure was 61% for men.
xiii There were 4,552 male suicides in 2011 and 1,493 female suicides. http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/subnational-health4/suicides-in-the-unitedkingdom/2011/stb-suicide-bulletin.html

 

A Vision for Muslim Women in the West (Part 2)

“Females who are neither wives nor mothers.”

Posted by: Shaikh (Dr) Haitham Al-Haddad , London,UK

Of course, being a wife or mother is not the only relationship a woman will have to her menfolk. She may be a sister, daughter or even an aunt. If she isn’t married and she supports the male members of her mahrams in any good that they do, then this will be counted as an achievement for her.

True sincerity is built on the acquiring of good deeds without such deeds being lauded by others. Bishr ibn al-Harith al-Hafi, one of the righteous scholars from the second early generation, used to say, “Do not do good work to be recognized, you should hide the good deed as you hide the bad ones.” Similar sentiments are well known among the early Muslims. Further, this point is summarised in number of Qur’anic verses such as the following,

“Whosoever desires the life of the world and its glitter; to them we shall pay in full (the wages of) their deeds therein, and they will have no diminution therein. They are those for whom there is nothing in the Hereafter but fire; and vain are the deeds they did therein. And of no effect is that which they used to do.”^[1]

What if you want to get married but you are finding it difficult or near impossible to actually do so? Did you know that a person achieves with their intentions far more than he or she may achieve with their actions? So if a Muslim woman intends to be a mother and raise righteous children, or she wants to be a wife who supports her husband and protect his honour and his wealth – but for some reason she is unable to get married, then she will receive the reward for achieving what she sincerely intended even if it doesn’t materialise.

In explaining the verse, “Allah has decreed good deeds and bad deeds,” the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said that whoever intends to do a good deed and then does not do it, Allah will write it down as one complete good deed; if he intends to do it and then does it, then Allah will write it down as being between ten and seven hundred good deeds, or even more. Conversely, whoever intends to do a bad deed and then doesn’t do it, Allah will write it down as one complete good deed; if he intends to do it and then he does it, Allah will write it down as one bad deed.”^[2]

In another amazing prophetic tradition narrated by Abu Kabshah al-Anmaari, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “There are four types of people in this world: a man to whom Allah gives wealth and knowledge, so he fears his Lord with regards to the way in which he disposes of his wealth, and he uses it to uphold ties of kinship and he realizes that Allah has rights over it. This man occupies the highest status. And a man to whom Allah has given knowledge but did not give him wealth, so he says, ‘If I had wealth I would have done the same as so and so (wealthy righteous person) is doing.’ So he will be rewarded according to his intention and the reward of both of them is the same. And a person to whom Allah has given wealth but not knowledge, so he squanders his wealth without knowledge and does not fear Allah concerning it or uphold ties of kinship with it, and he does not realize that something is due to Allah for that. That is the worst status before Allah. Then he said: A person to whom Allah has given neither wealth nor knowledge and he says: ‘If I had money I would have done what so and so (wealthy wrongdoing person) is doing’. So he will be judged according to his intention, and the burden (of sin) of both of them will be the same.”^[3]

Besides this, women can participate in a variety of activities – either work, da’wah, or other social activities. However, the key thing that should be emphasised here is that such activities should be taken as secondary activities for women who are married, or who are mothers.

Here are some general guidelines that should be observed when engaged in such activities:

The involvement for any activity should have the right motivation and intention behind it. Supporting the family financially is primarily the role of the husband so Muslim men need to realize that they should not become lazy and rely on their wives or sisters to generate an income for the household. Sisters too must realize that though they may be keen to work in order to feel some sort of independence or equality to their husbands – they may be inadvertently causing their men folk to be overly dependent on them and hence may be stopping them from striving to earn and achieve more for their families.

Working to support your family, if it is needed, should be with the intention to provide for them enough to suffice them so that they will be prevented from having to beg or ask of others. Another intention a woman should have when involving herself in work is to fulfill Allah’s command when He tells us to provide for the needs of our families so that they can live in dignity. The Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “The upper hand is better than the lower hand. The upper hand is the one that gives, and the lower hand is the one that takes.”

In some cases some women work in order to give in charity (sadaqah) from their own earnings. This is also a noble aim provided that conditions are met. It was reported that Zaynab bint Jahsh, the wife of Prophet, was a very pious lady and used to be skilled in handcrafts, so she would make things in order to sell them and give in charity. Jabir ibn ‘Abdillah, one of the Companions, said, “My maternal aunt was divorced and wanted to pick some fruit from her trees. A man told her off for going out, so she went to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and he said, “go and pick the fruit from your trees. Maybe you will be able to give it in charity or do something good with it.”^[4]

The second condition for women involving herself in work and other activities is that they should not detract from her more important duties such as her daily obligatory prayers and serving her husband and children. Activities such as daily prayers and serving the husband and children are immediate personal obligations that take priority over other good deeds. It was narrated from Husayn ibn Muhsin that his paternal aunt went to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) concerning some need which he had. The Prophet asked her, “Do you have a husband?” She replied in the affirmative. He said: “How are you with him?” She said, “I do what he tells me, except what is beyond me.” He said, “Look at how you are with him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.”^[5] Al-Munawi, a famous commentator on hadith wrote, ‘he is the cause of your entering Paradise if he is pleased with you and the cause of your entering Hell if he is displeased with you. So treat him well and do not disobey his commands with regard to that which is not a sin.’^[6]

The third condition is that the woman should observe Islamic guidelines related to modesty and chastity. It is very sad to see some sisters who aspire to be leaders or be involved in da’wah activities neglecting Islamic guidelines related to modesty, such as taking the matter of free-mixing lightly. They frequently chat online with males, stay away from their homes until very late, and even neglect their husbands or parents. We must honestly assess which activities, even those deemed Islamic, we are doing to merely satisfy our egos and those which we do out of true sincerity to Allah.

I ask Allah to show us guidance and help us in following it. May Allah allow us to see the wisdom in what He has legislated for us and to embrace it – for indeed, anything He has commanded us with is good for us and anything he has forbidden us from is detrimental.

Sources: www.islam21c.com Islam21c requests all the readers of this article, and others, to share it on your facebook, twitter, and other platforms to further spread our efforts.

[1] 11:15-16

[2] Al-Bukhari and Muslim

[3] Ahmad, al-Tirmidhi and others

[4] Sahih Muslim

[5] Narrated by Ahmad. It was graded as sahih by number of scholars

[6] See Fayd al-Qadeer