Snowmen Jokes

Further to my previous post, I thought I would lighten the mood a little…

629653980-612x612.jpgQ: What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot?
A: A chill pill.

Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes.

Q: What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
A: A snowball.

Q: What is a girl snowman called?
A: A snow-ma’am.

Q: What’s white and flies up?
A: A confused snowflake.

Q: What did the snow pile say when he was asked to commit a crime?
A: Snow way man

Q: Why didn’t the snow man eat the chicken wings?
A: Because it had hot sauce on it.

Q: What is Frosty the Snowman’s favourite cereal?
A: Ice Crispies.

Q: What do snowmen wear on their heads?
A: Ice caps.

Q: Where do snowmen get the weather report?
A: The Winternet.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: What does a snowman eat for breakfast?
A: Frosted flakes.

Q: What did one snowman say to the other?
A: Do you smell carrots?

Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman?
A: You’re cool.

Q: What do you call a snowman party?
A: A Snowball.

Q: What was the snowman’s favorite dinner?
A: An Iceberger.

Q: Why did the snow man turn yellow?
A: Ask the dog.

Q: How does Frosty the Snowman get around the neighbourhood?
A: On his ice-icle.

Q: Why did Frosty go to the middle of the big lake?
A: Because snow man’s an island.

Q: What does a snowman like to put on his icebergers?
A: Chilly sauce.

Q: What did the police officer say when he saw the snowman stealing?
A: Freeze.

Q: What kind of cake does snowman like?
A: Any kind with lots of frosting.

Q: Where do Frosty the snowman and his wife go to dance?
A: Snowballs.

Q: What does a snowman put on his face at night?
A: Cold cream.

Q: What does Frosty the Snowman take when he gets sick?
A: A chill pill.

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How NOT to Make a Snowman

by Anonymoussnowman-og.jpg
It had been snowing all night – Soo…
8:00 am I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman, too.
8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 The homosexual couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 The transgender man..wom…person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.
8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.
8:42 The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, “Snowballs” and am now called a sexist.
9:00 I’m on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.
9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding I be charged by the Anti-Everything Commissioner and for me to be beheaded.

So, how’s your morning been?

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It’s just a view of the world in which we live today, and it is only getting worse…

Keeping Warm in Winter

Sulaym ibn Aamir RH narrates that when winter would come, Sayyiduna Umar ibn al-Khattab (Radhiallahu Anhu) would be extra mindful of them and write to them, advising: “Winter, which is an enemy, has come, so prepare for it with wool, leathers socks, and socks. Use wool as your under-clothing and outer-clothing, because the cold is an enemy that enters quickly but leaves slowly.”
winter
Ibn al-Rajab al-Hanbal (Rahimahullah) comments that Sayyiduna Umar (Radhiallahu Anhu) would write this advice to the people of Shaam when it was conquered in his era, as he was worried that the Companions RA and others who had not previously experienced such cold would be harmed by the cold of Shaam. This was out of his complete well-wishing, graceful vigilance, compassion and safeguarding of his subjects. May Allah be pleased with him. (Lataa’if al-Ma’aarif).
Following in the footsteps of Sayyiduna Umar (Radhiallahu Rnhu), the following is some important advice on what we can do to protect ourselves against the cold and stay warm this winter:
Wear warm clothes
The best way to protect against cold and stay warm is to wear warm clothes, especially when going outdoors into the cold.
Allah mentions warm clothing amongst His many favours: “And the grazing livestock He has created for you; in them is warmth [i.e., warm clothes] and [numerous] benefits” (Qur’an, 16:5). He also said, “And from their wool, fur and hair is furnishing and enjoyment for a time” (Qur’an, 16:80).
Wearing a number of thin layers, especially clothes made of cotton, wool and fleecy fibre, helps to keep the body warm. Keeping the feet warm and dry is particularly important, not forgetting footwear with good grips during icy/snowy periods.
Even if you are going out into the cold for a few minutes, to put the bins out perhaps or to get something out of the car, wrap up warm; a few moments of being exposed to the cold is enough to make a person ill.
Keeping your head warm with a scarf or hat is important, as a lot of body heat is lost through the head.
Eating Properly
Good nutrition is vital to keep the body warm. Hot meals (soups in particular) and hot drinks will help you stay warm throughout the day. Wholegrain, legumes (lentils, peas, chickpeas, beans) root vegetables (potatoes, carrots, turnips etc.), vegetables in general, citrus fruits, spices (in moderation!) and herbs (especially ginger), almonds, walnuts, pistachio and other nuts, dried fruits (especially dates and figs) are excellent choices to boost our health during winter.
Keep the House Warm
Cold and damp houses negatively affect our health, so keeping the house warm is a must for staying healthy during winter. We sometimes overlook the most obvious things which make our houses cold, such as unnecessarily opening windows and not attending to draughts under doors, so think about ways to minimise heat escaping from the house; this will also help to reduce heating costs.
Taking Care of Others
As Muslims, it is our duty to be concerned about the welfare of others and not just be concerned about ourselves. Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said, “None of you truly believes until he loves for others what he loves for himself.” (Bukhari, Muslim).
We should be checking on relatives, elderly neighbours or anyone who is more vulnerable during the cold, ensuring they have what they need to stay warm and safe, especially during the night. If we can save an elderly person the trouble of going out in the cold and do their shopping for them, or run other errands for them, we should do so and earn immense reward from Allah.
And let us not forgot the spirit of Sayyiduna Umar ibn al-Khattab (Radhiallahu Anhu) towards the people of Shaam, who are currently enduring extreme hardship and struggle, with many of them battling against the bitterness of winter without ample clothing, food and shelter.
There are a number of reliable charities that are providing much-needed provisions to our brothers and sisters in Shaam, and other parts of the world. Each Muslim home should aim to provide for at least one family this winter and help alleviate the suffering Allah, out of His Mercy, has saved us from.
May Allah keep us all in His protection, and make us all a means of blessings, comfort, guidance and happiness for others.
Ameen Ya Rabb!
29 Safar 1439