Snowmen Jokes

Further to my previous post, I thought I would lighten the mood a little…

629653980-612x612.jpgQ: What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot?
A: A chill pill.

Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes.

Q: What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
A: A snowball.

Q: What is a girl snowman called?
A: A snow-ma’am.

Q: What’s white and flies up?
A: A confused snowflake.

Q: What did the snow pile say when he was asked to commit a crime?
A: Snow way man

Q: Why didn’t the snow man eat the chicken wings?
A: Because it had hot sauce on it.

Q: What is Frosty the Snowman’s favourite cereal?
A: Ice Crispies.

Q: What do snowmen wear on their heads?
A: Ice caps.

Q: Where do snowmen get the weather report?
A: The Winternet.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: What does a snowman eat for breakfast?
A: Frosted flakes.

Q: What did one snowman say to the other?
A: Do you smell carrots?

Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman?
A: You’re cool.

Q: What do you call a snowman party?
A: A Snowball.

Q: What was the snowman’s favorite dinner?
A: An Iceberger.

Q: Why did the snow man turn yellow?
A: Ask the dog.

Q: How does Frosty the Snowman get around the neighbourhood?
A: On his ice-icle.

Q: Why did Frosty go to the middle of the big lake?
A: Because snow man’s an island.

Q: What does a snowman like to put on his icebergers?
A: Chilly sauce.

Q: What did the police officer say when he saw the snowman stealing?
A: Freeze.

Q: What kind of cake does snowman like?
A: Any kind with lots of frosting.

Q: Where do Frosty the snowman and his wife go to dance?
A: Snowballs.

Q: What does a snowman put on his face at night?
A: Cold cream.

Q: What does Frosty the Snowman take when he gets sick?
A: A chill pill.

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How NOT to Make a Snowman

by Anonymoussnowman-og.jpg
It had been snowing all night – Soo…
8:00 am I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman, too.
8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 The homosexual couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 The transgender man..wom…person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.
8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.
8:42 The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, “Snowballs” and am now called a sexist.
9:00 I’m on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.
9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding I be charged by the Anti-Everything Commissioner and for me to be beheaded.

So, how’s your morning been?

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It’s just a view of the world in which we live today, and it is only getting worse…