Love Notes – Part 1

Love Notes –  Shaykh Yahya Ibrahim, Australia

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

love notes

  • A study looked at Muslim couples who get divorced:
  • Shaykh mentioned 68% of couples in the UK will divorce in the first 3 years of marriage.
    ○ Most of those who got divorced are educated
    ○ Many of them had the kind of jobs, where they intervene to defuse conflict
    ● The intent of the course is to speak about love to Muslims from a philosophical perspective
    ● We will talk about what makes you, you?
    ○ What does Islam offer, to make you the best of you
    ● Look at the words that are used to describe marriage and love in Islam
    ○ Imam Ibn Hazm coined the word soul mate – the first time westerners saw that a soul can love another soul

○ Imam Ibn Qayim RH has a book called Rawdat Al Muhibeen
○ Ibn Ul Jawzi RH – Said if a man does not know how to love, he should eat hay, because he’s a donkey
○ Muslims saw that we should cling onto one another and love one another so we can become khulafah on the earth → so that children can receive the earth in a way that is better than the way that we received it, that is the concept of khulafah
● There is no book of hadith that does not mention the love between the Prophet SAW and his wives
○ The year that Khadijah RA died, became the year of sadness
○ The Prophet SAW is a role model
● What the poster doesn’t show
○ Doesn’t show what’s behind them
● When the Prophet SAW talks about marriage, he says it’s half of your deen
○ You actualize a lot of the characteristics of Islam during your relationship with your spouse
○ The money that a man spends on his family is “sadaqah” [Muslim]

  • When you say the shahadah, it has conditions,
    ○ You begin to learn the importance of Allah when you gather knowledge [ilm]
    ○ The second step is [yaqeen] certainty
    ○ That leads you to [inqiyad] submission, which leads you to practice, in the way that Allah swt requested
    ○ Number 5 is [sidq] to be more truthful with Allah swt
    ○ and that leads you to [Ikhlas], having enough, other than Allah, put all my trust to
    ○ Last level, is love [hob] → you begin loving Allah too much to miss prayer.
    ● Love is the last level of worship, and some people worship things that they should, Allah doesn’t say worship he says love “yohiboonahu ka hob illah”
  • ‘Uboodiya (worship) → anything Allah loves for you to do, whether it is a word you say, an action you do, or a feeling in your heart
    ● We are not here just to talk about romance, we are here to talk about love, loving your dad, your mom, your country.

 

Definitions

● The origin for the word “husband” or “spouse” is very different in English and Qur’anic Arabic
● Husbandry: “convincing a bull to sire a cow”
● Other words for “spouse” in the Quran
زَ وج ■
● [2:35]
● two distinct, unique individuals that upon joining, become one so you don’t see the seam between them.
ِلبَاس ■
● [2:187]
● your inner intimate garment is called libas; nobody is as close to you as that garment
● “libas ul harb” the armour of war, she is the shield from the dunya
َصا ِحبَة ■
● 42 words for love in the Arabic language
● Sahib: the one that walks with you for life

ن
قُ رةَ أَ ْعُي
● [25:74]
● “fills the eyes of your husband”
● “there is no provision greater than that of a righteous woman. She is a women that when a husband sees her, he feels happiness in the heart” [Muslim]
ِحصن ■
● She’s your fortress, palace, castle
● You are the moat that surrounds her
بَعِلي ■
● [11:72]
● “My spring/fountain of all good”
● He is the one that showers me with good, with his words, his wealth, etc
● That is how Sarah describes Ibrahim (AS)
● He created the heavens and earth in truth. He wraps the night over the day and wraps the day over the night and has subjected the sun and the moon, each running [its course] for a specified term. Unquestionably, He is the Exalted in Might, the Perpetual Forgiver. He created you from one soul. Then He made from it its mate… [39:5-6]
○ When Allah talks about all these dualities (heavens/earth, night/day, sun/moon), He inserts one singularity: one soul.
○ when you get married, you’re two separate entities that come together from one pairing

 

Opinions on Marriage

  1. Marriage will make me a better Muslim
  2. Marriage will protect me from falling into fitnah and haram
  3. Marriage will make me live happily ever after
  4. In marriage, you cannot hate the person you love
    ○ One of the strangest things about love: the person you love the most…it’s a fine line between despicable hate and love
    ○ genuine love can transform into hate bc you’re investing so much love in that person
    ○ healthiest marriages: achieve equilibrium between love and hate knowing it’s okay to hate things the person does
  5. Marriage will heal all my past wounds
  6. Marriage is a piece of cake if you marry the right person
  7. Marriage benefits men more than women
  8. Love is enough to sustain a marriage
    ○ The economy is rough LOL – when the economy is rough, divorce sky rockets
    ○ Prophet (SAW) – One of the things we look for in marriage is “Malihah”, her wealth
  9. Religious practising Muslims have a perfect marriage FALSE
  10. Marriage is a natural process that you can figure out on your own FALSE
    ○ requires thought, DETERMINATION
    ○ Prophet (SAW) to Jabir (RA), a man who told him got engaged: “did you look into her eyes” – meaning did you find love in her eyes? Did you spend enough time looking into her eyes to know she’s the one? Marriage isn’t something you just come by!

So exalted is Allah when you reach the evening and when you reach the morning. And
to Him is [due all] praise throughout the heavens and the earth. And [exalted is He] at
night and when you are at noon. He brings the living out of the dead and brings the
dead out of the living and brings to life the earth after its lifelessness. And thus will you
be brought out. And of His signs is that He created you from dust; then, suddenly you
were human beings dispersing [throughout the earth]. And of His signs is that He
created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He
placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. And of His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth and the
diversity of your languages and your colours. Indeed, in that are signs for those of
knowledge.
Surah Rum [30:17-22]

– He speaks about light and day – He speaks about the lifeless earth coming back to life and thriving with vegetation – Then he talks about the soul vs dust – And in the middle of all these he talks about the relationship in partners, and it is no longer about the dualities, it is about the singularity

→ Someone from yourselves, mates He likes it to- “signs” His about talking by verse ends AND begins -إِ ن فِي َٰذَِل َك َلَيَا ت – saying, “pay attention” – Prophet (SAW) – when Adam was created, our souls were created “like ants” – there’s a moment where the soul is brought to life. you’re born into this life and your soul itself is not extinguishable – Prophet (SAW) (Hadith of Imam Bukhari) – The souls when they were created in the time of Adam, they were brought into groupings, and the souls became familiar with one another – A long essay is written about this hadith, and it says if there is a bright soul, and it enters into a room of 1000 dark souls, and one bright soul, that soul would attach itself to the other bright soul – souls gravitate to each other … or make you hate each other’s guts – The concept of soul mates for us isn’t just husband and wife – your bffs, your parents, your teachers – scent is powerful – sometimes you might smell something in the air, maybe Coco Chanel like grandma wore…sometimes it really takes you back to a certain time in your life – Your soul remembers people, just like your scent does, and it brings warmness into your heart he said he ,(soul) روح the about asked was SAW Prophet the When – couldn’t say much that is in the knowledge of Allah and we don’t know much about it – Sometimes our soul pushes back people we should be attracted to, and that is because we need to purify our soul effort requires purification – قد أفلح من زكاها – – we attempt to connect with people for marriage and on paper they seem like reasonable candidates…but at that moment when you push back someone who is good, his soul might be too clean, and your soul might be a bit tarnished – your soul might not be accessible to that righteous man/women Good the with up matched usually is Good The – الطيبون لطيبات –

When you are looking for marriage – you need to make sure your soul is accessible to pious souls – don’t always put it on the other person

 

Quranic Stories about Spouses

The Qur’an is a holistic document that outlines a lifestyle for us. There are many lessons and examples for us to draw from.
Adam (AS)
○ He asks for a “sahibah”, someone with him
○ Jannah is not enough. You need someone who loves you
■ Even the shaheed, looks behind and Allah gives him the news of them joining you
○ Allah creates for him and blesses him with his wife Hawa’
○ Allah tells Adam (AS) to not eat from the tree as Iblees is an enemy to you and Hawa [20:117]
■ (according to hadith, the greatest thing that the little shayateen can do to make Iblis happy is to convince a man and his wife to split up)
○ Iblis wanted to uncover the blessing that Allah SWT gave Adam, and expose their bad
○ Responsibility for the sin is greater on Adam (AS) (very different from other scriptures)
■ [20:121]
○ Adam AS and Hawa RA were separated when they descended to Earth
■ Jeddah got its name from Jaddah, the Arabic word for grandmother. It is where Hawa’ is believed to have descended
■ Adam AS ‘arafa-ha, or, “recognized her” a little before Maghrib and it is the same day we commemorate on ‘Arafa during Hajj
■ That is when Adam made that dua’a “Rabbana dhalamna anfusana…”
“Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves, and if You do not forgive us
and have mercy upon us, we will surely be among the losers.”
■ That dua’a and that moment of worship commemorates a moment of love that millions of people recreate on Yawm al ‘Arafa
■ Then they came together, and worshiped Allah SWT The first place that a person made sujood to Allah SWT was Adam, inside the fortified walls of the ka’abah.
Ayyoub (AS)

○ Lots of time people say, we should have patience/endurance like Ayoub (AS)
○ For the first 50 years of his life, Allah gave him prosperity
■ (he had 7 daughters and 7 sons, wealth, the people who he was sent to preach to accept him)
○ After 50 years of prosperity, Allah began to test him.
■ The earthquake made his house collapse and children all died at once;
■ All his servants were killed and wealth looted;
■ people thought he was a false prophet, because “why would God do this to a righteous prophet? he must be cursed.” everyone left his side;
■ His body became decayed and sickly
○ His wife stayed. This man who had everything, lost everything, except his wife
■ The woman who was a mistress of the house became a servant
■ People did not want to be near her as to not “catch her curse”
■ She would ask Ayoub to make dua’a to Allah, and Ayoub said “I am shy to ask Allah after 50 years of prosperity, to ask Allah for relief after only 4 years of hardship”
■ His wife came back with food and when he asked where it came from she pulled back her scarf (she had cut her hair and sold it for food)
○ After seeing his wife suffer, this man (AS) of patience made dua’a “My lord harm has touched me and my family, and you are the most merciful of those who show mercy”
■ It was as if Allah was just waiting for him to ask…
■ A spring gushed forth and Ayyub (AS) drank from the spring, and became young and has been given their life again and everything returned to him
■ The thing that moved Ayoub was love, it is that he loved his wife more than his own patience
○ The right of the servant is to be put before the right you owe Allah CIRCUMSTANTIALLY
■ If your wife (or mom or dad etc) falls sick, and you were going to hajj and your ihraam is on and your foot almost out the door, you stay.

→ The right your family member has on you is greater than that obligation to Allah
■ Abdullah Ibn Mubarak RH – Went for hajj and saw a dream of those who made hajj and their hajj was accepted. He saw the face of a man and where he lived
● Abdullah immediately went to see him. Upon meeting the man, he found that he had not made hajj! The man said that he was on his when he saw an impoverished man. He realized that he that the wealth he had planned to use to go
Love Notes By Sh Yahya Ibrahim 5 to hajj would be enough to get the man in need on his own two feet. So he gave it to him and made dua’a that he would get to go for Hajj later. THAT is the man that Abdullah saw with a shining face.
● Prophet Dawood (AS)
○ King of his time, had many wives
○ Looked over his marketplace and saw a beautiful woman. He asked if this woman is spoken for? They said no, but she is promised to the general.
■ for a moment Dawud (AS)’s heart thought “if that man becomes Shaheed… Allah give him Jannah” lol
○ (In Surah Saad)
■ Allah sent two men (really angels) that jump in front of him and he reels back. One of them says “don’t be scared, we are two men that are quarrelling. He has 99 sheep and I have 1 (representing blessings), and he keeps desiring my 1 sheep to complete his 1 00.
■ Dawud says, he has wronged you to even suggest that he should give you your sheep.
■ Then it clicked in his mind that it was a test from Allah! It was a message indicating that he (AS) have been blessed with so much, and that generally is the one who has that one sheep…so Dawud (AS) fell in prostration
○ The stories of the Quran are full of love and passion
Nuh (AS)
○ Imagine you are some sheikh, and you are on the pulpit for Juma’a and you are telling it as it is…Then your wife walks out and says “It’s all nonsense! He is making it all up!” Your son is sitting there and saying, “PSHHH, don’t listen to this guy. He knows nothing.” (People would be like, when your family believes, then come talk to me lol”)
○ Your wife and your son become adversaries and they become leaders of those who disbelieve
○ Imagine that is you, just a sheikh – Imagine being the Prophet of Allah
○ Nuh AS never gives up
○ Nuh is on a ship on land that has been experiencing a drought for years and people are looking at him like he is crazy – until Allah swt orders the sky to let down its rain, and the sky gushes until the waves become the size of mountains
■ And Nuh asks his son, belief in God so I can let you on the ship, his son says, I don’t believe in you or your god or your ship, I’ll go up to that mountain and it will protect me from the waters
■ So he says, my son, none will be protected except those that are on this ship, and then he refuses and he becomes one of those who drowned
■ Nuh says to Allah “When you promise, it is true, you said you would save me and my family, he is part of me and he drowned” so Allah said, “he is not your family, forget him”
● The illegitimate is not to be loved, Allah will always get you out of those drowning waters and until the last moments Allah will provide you what is good – but he will never make the illegitimate, legitimate
● What makes you and I who we are? Why are the stories of the messengers something that still resonates with us?
○ Part 1: Jasad – 70% of us is water, 30% is organic
■ The difference between us and pigs is less than 1% (genetically speaking)
■ In the Quran: Those who know God, but do not accept God are like Cattle
○ Part 2: Mind
■ Rational being, we think and can anticipate what is happening
■ Allah has blessed the son of Adam with the mind, drugs and intoxicants are haram because they take away the mind
■ Don’t think that animals do not have emotions and feelings too
■ Sheikh plays this video
● Sometimes we think we are the only beings that actually matter
● Ibn Qayim writes 60 pages on Allah quoting the ant
○ Ant knows delegation & authority
○ Knows what is home & what isn’t
○ It knows name “Solomon”, and his troops (knows our functions)
○ And the ant makes an excuse (if they trample you then they don’t know)
○ Ibn Qayyim lists 11 types of language that the ant uses
■ Allah inspires the bees regarding how it can live its life
■ Don’t ever think that the world around you is meaningless, simple experiments show that there is so much more in the world that Allah created
■ They are a nation, just like you are a nation
○ Part 3: Soul
■ There are 3 components, and this 3rd part is what makes us insaan
■ The majesty of the soul lives in the heart – The heart is the throne of the soul
● The chest is what protects the heart
● Haritha (one of the sahabah) is walking and the Prophet SAW says how are you and he says I woke up a mu’min, Prophet SAW said why? He said when I pray it is if I see Allah but I do not see him; when I sin, I see the fire, but it is not
Love Notes By Sh Yahya Ibrahim 7 there; When I do good, I see Jannah, but I do not see it – So Prophet SAW touches his chest and he says you are a believer
● Hope, mercy, love of God is in your chest, it is important to keep that spirit true
● When Allah talks about Imaan he says Allah opened his chest to Imaan (that is the imagery given to us by Allah SWT)
● That is why the heart is so important to talk about love because the heart is what governs the rest of us
● When your heart is closer to Allah, it is easier to come closer to people à that is the beauty of the dua’ of Musa “’ishrahly sadry”, open my heart to people
● The premise of this class is to bring our hearts closer to Allah so that we can come close to his servants
■ The 3 levels are ascending levels
■ Islam also has 3 levels, Islam, Ihsan and Iman; Each of those 3 levels matches our 3 parts
● Islam (Jasad) – You must physically say the words of the shahadah, pray, fast, do Hajj, and give zakat, Islam matches the physicalness of you jasad
● Imaan (Akl) – Matches your mind, the 6 articles of faith cannot be qualified/rationalized, but they are believed. Iman came to subdue the rationale that pulls you away from Allah
● Ihsan (Ruh) – Even though you cannot see Allah in life, your heart is always aware of Allah. Everything you witness in life connects you to Allah
○ Imam Sufyan al Thawri is walking out of the masjid, and a man begins to abuse him, his students try to stop him, he says no leave him and he says “I know the sin that I did that brought this upon me”
○ Imam Sufyan RH would give his students 3 rules when teaching them:
■ Correct what is between you and Allah, and he will help you correct what is between you and mankind
■ Fix what is between you and Allah privately, he will make your public good with others
■ Remember Allah when you don’t need him, and he will know you when you need him
○ There are angels whose job is to catch our hadith (dua’a) and throw it back at us because it is not worthy of ascending – hadith of the Prophet SAWarmour

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‘A DRONE OVER THE SKIES OF MADINAH …’

(The Final Crusade)IMG_9150

Ask yourself: if the Prophet SAW was with us today,
If he spoke the same words and lived the same way,

If he returned with the same message to relay,
How long would the forces of the world let him stay?
Back then, he taught humankind to: ‘Bow down to none,
No idol, no tyrant, no oppressive nation,

Keep your heart and mind free from their domination,
True power is with God, so don’t fear anyone!’
Quraysh let him be so long as he was benign,
And to his message, they thought that few would incline,

But when he preached openly, would not bend his spine,
The state turned against him, for he had crossed the line;
At first, they rushed to him seeking some compromise,
They’d give him the mic if he just ceased to chastise,

The ills around him they feared he would neutralize,
But he would not clothe his words in any disguise;
And he persisted in making more minds aware,
Of society’s false gods of which to beware,

Of the tyrants of Earth, so the state could not bear,
And his “freedom of speech” vanished into thin air;
Choking him as he prayed, they tried suffocation,
Then imposed three years of economic sanction,

Signed off authorizing his assassination,
He was hunted in his land, forced to migration;
To track down this “radical”, the vast land they’d comb,
Abu Jahl led the pack, his mouth frothing with foam,

Put him on a ‘Wanted’ list in his own home,
Like Jesus Christ before him at the hands of Rome;
And the Romes of today at whose hands we’re abused,
Who preach to us values from which they’re self-excused,

How similar the tools of repression they used,
The tyrants of past and present are ever fused;
Today, he’d see us consumed by the same fires,
With the gods in our hearts these worldly desires,

And the gods of the Earth nations and empires,
Headed by killers and professional liars;
He laid siege to Qaynuqa’ for one woman’s fear,
So what would he say to those who gang-raped ‘Abeer?

Muffled ‘Aafia’s screams as she shed tear after tear?
And occupy Muslim countries year after year?
He’d come back to remind us to: ‘Bow down to none,
No idol, no tyrant, no oppressive nation,

Keep your heart and mind free from their domination,
True power is with God, so don’t fear anyone!’
In a repeat of that reality uncouth,
Imagine he stood and struggled for the same truth,

And had the same impact on society’s youth,
Would they not once again fight this man nail & tooth?
Of course, they’d first test him to see what he’s about,
Would he stay true like before, or would he sell out?

Would fear of the state instil in his mind some doubt?
No doubt, he’d be a mountain shaking off their clout;
In an era where his inheritors deprave,
The trust of their knowledge so their skins they would save,

He’d be an inspiration for every field slave,
Craving an example of the fearless and brave;
Their think-tanks would scramble to counter his appeal,

Find scholars for dollars with whom to make a deal,
To persuade us: ‘The Prophet is just full of zeal,

Grieving injustices – quote – “perceived” and not real!’
They’d wiretap him as he said: ‘Bow down to none,

No idol, no tyrant, no oppressive nation,
Keep your heart and mind free from their domination,
True power is with God, so don’t fear anyone!’
Then they’d name him on a federal indictment,
American court would charge him with incitement,

Through Surat at-Tawbah – marked ‘Criminal Statement’
Khalid bin al-Walid as his co-defendant;
They’d say he conspired from the North to the South Pole,
And seek a life sentence with no chance of parole,

In a bright orange suit on lockdown in the Hole,
Such do they treat those spirits they cannot control;
Like the rest of us who have committed no crime,
But to be a proud Muslim at this point in time,

As the war on his message has reached its full prime,
Giving those who live by it more mountains to climb;
When they saw that in this message he would persist,
They would designate him a global terrorist,

And just like Quraysh, they would pound an angry fist,
Before placing his name on their own target list;
Over the skies of Madinah, they’d send a drone,
Distribute ‘Wanted’ posters with his bearded face shown,

Talk to local tribes, make the reward money known,
For those who capture or kill him and retrieve each bone;
They’d study Badr and Uhud, learn his strategy,
And profile those who pledged to him under the Tree,

Try to identify his ‘Number Two’ and ‘Three,’
Is it Abu Bakr, ‘Umar, ‘Uthman, or ‘Ali?
To the Prophet’s Mosque, they’d send an entire brigade,
To round up the Ansar who had given him aid,

To kick down his family’s door in a night raid,
To make him the target of their final crusade;
Because his message would still be: ‘Bow down to none,
No idol, no tyrant, no oppressive nation,

Keep your heart and mind free from their domination,
True power is with God, so don’t fear anyone!’
Imagine if the Prophet SAW was with us today,
If he spoke the same words and lived the same way,

If he returned with the same message to relay,
They’d reserve him a cell at Guantanamo Bay …
صلي الله عليه و سلم
طارق مهنا

Tarek Mehanna
Monday     9th of Dhu al-Hijjah 1431
15th of November 2010
Plymouth Correctional Facility, America
Isolation Unit – Cell #108
FOOTNOTES:

1.) Abeer Qasim al-Janabi, a 14-yr old Iraqi girl who was gang-raped,
beaten, shot, and burned along with her parents and siblings by American soldiers in March of 2006, south of Baghdad. (May Allah have Mercy on them)
2.) Referring to the hadith: “The scholars are the inheritors of the Prophets.”
3.) Referring to the Pledge of Ridwan given under a tree on the day of Hudaybiyah, as mentioned in Surat al-Fath, v.18.

O Companions of the Prophet ﷺ!

IMG_9149O Companions (R) of the Prophet ﷺ!

To him, you were so beloved

How did it feel to address my Nabi (S) directly?

And listen to him answering so calmly?

O Companions (R) of the Prophet ﷺ!

To him, you were so beloved

How did it feel to take the Shahadah for the very first time?

After the message was revealed and Hira he did climb?

O Companions (R) of the Prophet ﷺ!

To him, you were so beloved

How was it to proclaim, “I bear witness that there is no God but Allah and YOU are his slave and Messenger?”

You were the first believers and your Imaan was so strong despite you being fewer

O Companions (R) of the Prophet ﷺ!

To him, you were so beloved

How did it feel to steal a glance at his shining face?

What did you feel when reached for an embrace?

O Companions (R) of the Prophet ﷺ!

To him, you were so beloved

When Jibreel descended, did you see his blessed forehead perspire?

With words from above, which then did us inspire

O Companions (R) of the Prophet ﷺ!

To him, you were so beloved

How was my Nabi’s ﷺ smile when he was pleased with you?

Did you see his eyes glow? Did his teeth show?

O Companions (R) of the Prophet ﷺ!

To him, you were so beloved

How was his beloved face when he didn’t approve?

Did his eyes show his displeasure? Did his face redden?

O Companions (R) of the Prophet ﷺ!

To him, you were so beloved

Where were you when you heard the tragic news?

Did you fall to your knees? Did you think it was true?

O Companions (R) of the Prophet ﷺ!

To him, you were so beloved

How was Madinah after his death?

When you lay him in his grave to rest?

O Companions (R) of the Prophet ﷺ!

To him, you were so beloved

He spent his days and nights praying for us all

We pray to be united with him in the Hereafter

Zainab Bint Husain

10 Ways to be the Ideal Muslim Husband

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

images (3)Zainab bint Younus, Canada

MARITAL ADVICE LISTS are common to find in Muslim literature and lectures, yet the information is almost always targeted towards women. However, we all know that it takes two to tango – and so here is a list aimed at Muslim husbands in the hopes that they, too, will benefit and be able to improve their relationships.

1. Have taqwa and isân

Know that you are responsible for your end of the marriage, regardless of how the other party treats you. Fulfill your wife’s rights without demanding yours first, and know that you seek Allah’s Pleasure over anyone else’s. Do your job with excellence, and don’t make it conditional. Isân is not merely to worship in the ritual sense, but to conduct oneself in general with an awareness that Allah is Al-Raqîb (the Ever-Watchful), and to fulfill one’s duties in the best of manners.

Then he (Jibrîl) said, “Inform me about isân.” He (the Messenger of Allah) answered, “It is that you should serve Allah as though you could see Him, for though you cannot see Him yet (know that) He sees you.” (Muslim)

2. Respect her

Remember that Allah describes marriage as a bond of love and mercy – love ebbs and flows, but mercy and respect must always be there, even – especially – in times of conflict. Unfortunately, we tend to present respect as a quality that men need (“men need respect, women need affection”). The truth is, however, that one can love someone without respecting them… and this is very, very dangerous. To have mercy and respect one’s wife is to never assume that she exists merely as an extension of you or to serve your needs. To respect her is to honor her, to defend her from harm and others’ accusations, and to have husn al-ann of her.

In cases of disagreement, this respect translates as not forcing your own opinion upon her when there is Islamically acceptable room for differences of opinion.

It should go without saying, but unfortunately it bears repeating nonetheless – respecting your wife means never, ever, abusing her, physically or otherwise.

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”  [Sûrat Al-Rûm, 30:21]

Even in times of conflict, Allah tells us to behave in the most respectful and gracious of manners:

And do not forget graciousness between you.  [Sûrat Al-Baqarah, 2:237]

Abû Mûsa Al-Ashʿari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

I asked the Messenger of Allah: “Who is the most excellent among the Muslims?” He said, “One from whose tongue and hands the other Muslims are secure.”  [1]

3.  Be emotionally intelligent

Empathy, being attuned to the other person’s preferences, learning to understand their personality and responding appropriately without expecting to change them into something they’re not… supporting and respecting each other as both individuals and as a team. The Prophet ﷺ was an emotionally intelligent husband, who knew the differences in his wives’ personalities and interacted with them in a manner best suited to each woman. He comforted Ṣufiyyah when she wept; he had spirited discussions with ʿÂishah (May Allah be pleased with her) and he encouraged Ḥafṣah’s (May Allah be pleased with her) for knowledge.

In a famous narration known as the Hadith of Abu Zarʿ(May Allah be pleased with him) [2]  ʿAishah told the Prophet ﷺ the story of eleven women who sat together and described their husbands’ qualities and behaviours. The eleventh woman, Umm Zarʿ, described Abû Zarʿas a man who was extremely generous to his wife, showering her with gifts; who went out of his way to please her; who never rebuked her or verbally abused her; who made sure that she was comfortable and satisfied. To Umm Zarʿ, there was no greater husband than Abû Zarʿ- and the Prophet ﷺ himself told ʿÂishah, I am to you as Abû Zarʿwas to Umm Zarʿ, except that I will never divorce you.

4.  Be a True Qawwâm

Know that being a qawwâm is a matter of being a good leader – not authoritarian or a dictator, but someone who inspires love and respect, who treats others with dignity and respect… The popular book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is a great resource for understanding what good leadership is. There are several excellent Islamic resources discussing leadership lessons from the life of the Prophet ﷺ.  [3]  [4]   Strive to embody the Sunnah in your character, not just in how many rakʿahs a day you pray.

ʿÂishah RA described the Prophet thus: “His character was the Quran.” [5] Be the type of husband that a wife describes in such a manner.

Remember that as a qawwâm, you are responsible and accountable for the well-being of your household and those under your care.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The amîr (ruler) who is over the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock; a man is a shepherd in charge of the inhabitants of his household and he is responsible for his flock…”  [6]

5.  Be friends before you become spouses

That might sound odd (or not) – but we often put so much pressure on ourselves to fulfill a role (husband/wife), that we forget to get to know each other as friends first. Every marriage will go through ups and downs, intimately and otherwise… and you’ll be surprised to realize how much having a solid, sincere friendship can pull you through the hard times.

One example of RasûlAllah’s “friendship” with his wives is his relationship with Sawdah bint Zamʿah RA. She was the first woman whom he married after the death of Khadijah, and although she was considered to be elderly and not as beautiful as the other women whom he would later marry, their relationship was one of camaraderie, confidence, and laughter.  [7]

6.  Don’t be embarrassed or ignorant of female biology

Learn about it – from menstruation to female sexuality to pregnancy and everything else. You need to know this stuff – it will impact your life significantly, intimately and otherwise. Don’t laugh it off or act as though it’s not worth your time and attention. Women’s health is sorely misunderstood, and having a disinterested (or worse, disgusted) husband can make things even more difficult for women.

The Prophet ﷺ did not shy away from these matters, either as a husband or as a Messenger of Allah. Instead, he constantly enjoined men to be aware of and sensitive to their wives’ needs – just as he was with his wives.

Narrated Umm Salamah RA:

While I was laying with the Prophet ﷺ under a single woolen sheet, I got the menses. I slipped away and put on the clothes for menses. He said, “Have you got “nifâs” (menses)?” I replied, “Yes.” He then called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet.   [8]

7.  Be responsible

Being “a good Muslim husband” doesn’t just mean fulfilling the basic rights as a husband and leaving it at that. Being a good Muslim husband means that you are on the ball as a responsible adult – whether it’s paying the bills, taking out the trash, cleaning a mess in the house, or being an engaged father (not ‘babysitting’). Doing these things is not a “kindness to the wife,” or “helping out at home.” It’s not “extra credit” and deserving of lavish praise. It is part and parcel of being a grown man responsible for his surroundings, his family, and himself. Do these things out of mindfulness that Allah will never waste your efforts for His Sake.

Narrated Al-Aswad RA:

I asked ʿÂishah what did the Prophet use to do at home. She replied. “He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was time for the prayer, he would get up for prayer.” (Bukhâri)

ʿÂishah RA reported:

I was asked, “What did the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, do in his house?” I said, “The Prophet was a man among men. He would remove fleas from his clothes, milk his sheep, and serve himself.” (Musnad Ahmad 25662)

8.  Don’t pursue your nawâfil at the expense of your wife’s farâi

One issue that many men fall into is that in their zeal to engage more in ʿibâda, they end up burdening their wives even more – to the extent that she is barely able to pray her five alawât with khushûʿ. Both spouses should encourage and facilitate opportunities for each other to strengthen as Muslims, but mothers of young children especially need their husbands to step up so that they can have the necessary time they need to reconnect with Allah and flourish spiritually. (And no, that doesn’t just mean five minutes here and there.)

Ramadan is a time when this becomes more obvious than ever – for example, many men will go to alat Al-arâwî while leaving their wives to deal with the children, in addition to having cooked ifâr beforehand. On a daily basis, though, go out of your way to facilitate your wife’s ʿibâda and spiritual connection.

Narrated Abû Juḥaifah RA:

The Prophet ﷺ made a bond of brotherhood between Salmân Al-Fârisi RA and Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA. Salmân RA paid a visit to Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA and found Umm Al-Dardâ’ RA dressed in shabby clothes and asked her why she was in that state. She replied, “Your brother Abû Al-Dardâ’ R is not interested in (the luxuries of) this world.”

In the meantime Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA came and prepared a meal for Salmân RA. Salmân RA requested Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA to eat (with him), but Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA said, “I am fasting.” Salmân RA said, “I am not going to eat unless you eat.”

So, Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA ate (with Salmân). When it was night and (a part of the night had passed), Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA got up (to offer the night prayer), but Salmân RA told him to sleep and Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA slept.

After sometime Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA again got up but Salmân RA told him to sleep. When it was the last hours of the night, Salmân RA told him to get up then, and both of them offered the prayer.

Salmân RA told Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA, “Your Lord has a right on you, your soul has a right on you, and your family has a right on you; so you should give the rights of all those who has a right on you.”

Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA came to the Prophet ﷺ and narrated the whole story. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Salmân RA has spoken the truth.”   [9]

9.  Learn conflict resolution skills

One big reason that couples end up going to Shuyûkh for counseling is because they simply haven’t learned how to communicate and resolve conflicts in a healthy manner. It’s not even about one specific issue or another; it’s about learning how to deal with whatever issues arise, in the most respectful and appropriate manner possible.  [10]

The Quran and Sunnah urge positive reconciliation between believers, and especially between husbands and wives.

“And live with them honourably. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” [Sûrat Al-Nisâ’, 4:19]

“And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them – and settlement is best. And present in [human] souls is stinginess. But if you do good and fear Allah – then indeed Allah is ever with what you do, Acquainted.” [Sûrat Al-Nisâ’, 4:128]

10. Love your wife for who she is

Not because she’s the person who cooks for you or does your laundry. Not because she’s the mother of your child(ren). Not because you’ve settled into routine and you feel comfortable having her around and she knows how to work the coffee maker and where the family’s paperwork is filed. Love her for her. Her personality traits, her talents, her hobbies, the things about her that make her unique.

Notice them, appreciate them, compliment them. Let her know that you don’t just see her as wife or mother, but as an individual on her own. Know that long before she married you, indeed long before she was born to her own parents, she was created as a separate soul – a human being whose primary identity is as a slave of Allah.

And most importantly – let her know that you love her, with all the pride and openness that RasûlAllah ﷺ demonstrated when he was asked, “Who do you love most?” and he responded, simply and beautifully, “ʿÂishah.”   [11]

There are of course numerous other pieces of advice that can be dispensed on the topic – everything from giving gifts to resolving in-law issues to arranging date-nights and so on. However, more important than specific behaviours are the principles behind them – and it these principles which have been highlighted.

In short, Muslim men should strive to match the standards set by RasûlAllah ﷺ when he said:

“The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.”   [12]

————————–

[1] http://sunnah.com/riyadussaliheen/18/2

[2] http://sunnah.com/bukhari/67/123

[3] http://muslimmatters.org/2014/10/28/lessons-in-leadership-from-the-prophet-muhammad-saw/ and http://muslimmatters.org/2014/11/04/21-lessons-in-leadership-from-the-prophet-part-2/

[4] https://theislamicworkplace.com/2006/11/15/the-leadership-process-of-muhammad-s-from-hadith/

[5] http://sunnah.com/urn/2203080

[6] http://sunnah.com/abudawud/20/1

[7] http://thesalafifeminist.blogspot.ca/2014/08/his-laughter-her-love.html

[8] http://sunnah.com/bukhari/6/5

[9] http://sahaba.net/salman-farisi-rights/

[10] https://aljumuah.com/cooling-the-fires-of-marriage-part-1-an-approach-to-conflict-resolution/

[11] http://sunnah.com/bukhari/64/384

[12] Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Mâjah, 1977; classed as saî by al-Albaani in Saî al-Tirmidhi

ZAINAB BINT YOUNUS

Zainab bint Younus is a Canadian Muslimah who has been active in grassroots da’wah and writing about Islam and the Ummah for the last nine years. She was first published in al-Ameen Newspaper (Vancouver, Canada) at the age of 14, became a co-founder, editor, and writer for MuslimMatters.org at 16; and began writing regularly for SISTERS Magazine at the age of 19 until today. She also blogs regularly at The Salafi Feminist

O Traveller to the Haram! Part I

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship (2:185)

Makkah Rihaal
The Rihal on the motorway, which indicates you have entered Makkah

Alhumdu Lillah, I have just returned from my trip to Umrah for the month of Ramadhan. As always an amazing, joyous, marvellous and memorable experience! I thought I would pen down some of my thoughts and recollect my memories and experiences as guidance and advice for the benefit of the Ummah, in sha Allah. Many of the pieces of advice can be used for Hajj as well, as you will read in sha Allah. A wise man once said, “The best gift you can present to someone is good advice.” Feel free to add comments below and make any corrections, I am no expert of Hajj/Umrah or of the Haramayn. This is not a guide to Hajj/Umrah, it is just advice which I feel will help you and lighten your burden hopefully. And there is some fiqh/masail, because I feel knowledge is extremely important especially in Hajj and Umrah.

Travelling and Hardship

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ السَّفَرُ قِطْعَةٌ مِنَ الْعَذَابِ يَمْنَعُ أَحَدَكُمْ نَوْمَهُ وَطَعَامَهُ وَشَرَابَهُ فَإِذَا قَضَى أَحَدُكُمْ نَهْمَتَهُ مِنْ

وَجْهِهِ فَلْيُعَجِّلْ إِلَى أَهْلِهِ ‏

From Abu Hurayrah (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Travelling is a portion of the torment. It denies you your sleep, food, and drink. When you have accomplished your purpose, you should hurry back to your family.” (Muwatta Malik).

Normally, we are in our daily routine, we do the same thing every day. We do not realise things about ourselves, our habits and temperaments etc. When we travel on a journey, especially with others these habits come out. Like we can see from the above Hadith, travelling deprives us of our food, sleep and drink etc. We all know what happens when we take a man’s sleep or food away. The quote of Umar (Allah be pleased with him) is famous, how you truly know a person once you have travelled with him.

Umar (Allah be pleased with him) asked about a man who had given testimony, wanting to find out whether anyone could vouch for him. A man said to him: “I will vouch for him, O’ Ameer al-Mumineen, ‘Umar asked, “Are you his neighbour?” He said, “No.” He then” asked, “Did you mix with him for a day and come to know his character?” He said, “No.” He asked next: “Did you travel with him, for travelling and being away from home reveal a man’s true essence?” He said, “No.” ‘Umar said, “Perhaps you saw him in the-mosque, standing, sitting and praying?” He said, “Yes.” ‘Umar said, Go away, for you do not know him.”

Source: ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab His life and times (‘Umar ibn al-Khattab shakhsiyatuhu wa ‘asruhu), Volume 1, page 272-273 Written by Dr. ‘Ali Muhammad as-Sallabi, Translated by Nasiruddin al-Khattab

A very profound saying, when travelling with others especially in a group, our true colours are revealed through our conduct as:

  1. Much patience is required because people desire & think differently.
  2. Whilst we should neither keep others waiting nor impose our views on the rest, we should be prepared to be delayed by others as that is part of group travel.
  3. We should be ready to serve the rest.
  4. We should abstain from petty complaints.
  5. We must be considerate of others esp. the weak, elderly & children.

Pray the Travel/Safar Duas and memorise them for the plane and coaches etc.

duasMy advice first and foremost is to select your companions carefully and wisely. He/she should be smart, decisive and sharp. The journey is a blessed one but not an easy one, I like to give a true picture and not make it sound like a walk in the park. At times you have to make difficult decisions on the spot, a good companion will help at such times. People reading this blog will be from different spheres of life, some may never have travelled abroad before. Or they have travelled, but not to Haramayn Shareefayn. It is not like a visit to the local mosque, where you have 200-300 people praying. Brace yourself! You can get pushed in Salah, knocked about in Tawaf, it can be extremely hot, things go missing and your possessions can get stolen, which I will elaborate on later. Going to such a beautiful and holy place with the wrong companions can sometimes make the whole journey a tedious and terrible one. This is why I have inserted the quote of Umar (Allah be pleased with him) above. Even if they are family members or relatives or old friends, travelling brings out a lot of “true” qualities in a person, Hajj and Umrah expose people to another level, be warned!

Allah tests us in different ways, the greater the trial the greater the reward. It was narrated from Mus’ab bin Sa’d RA that his father, Sa’d bin Abu Waqqas RA, said: “I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah ﷺ, which people are most severely tested?’ He said: ‘The Prophets ﷺ, then the next best and the next best. A person is tested according to his religious commitment. If he is steadfast in his religious commitment, he will be tested more severely, and if he is frail in his religious commitment, his test will be according to his commitment. Trials will continue to afflict a person until they leave him walking on the earth with no sin on him.’” (Ibn Majah)

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Hadhrat Sahl Bin Sa’d (Radi Allahu Anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said: Calmness in affairs is from Allah and haste in affairs is from shaytan.” (Tirmidhi)

No matter what happens, do NOT panic. There is always one “panic button” in the group, who makes a mountain of a molehill for every bit of drama. My advice when things go wrong is, “What is the worse that can happen?” Always analyse the situation, don’t overreact. Remember, you are the guests of Allah, He SWT is the host, He SWT will not let you down. You are in a different country, there are thousands of people, the heat can get extreme at times as well. If problems arise or you fall ill, bear in mind your reward is with Allah. The more pain, the more reward.

FullSizeRender-2Preparations

Be ready, mentally, physically, spiritually…

Makkah is the best place on earth and the most beloved to Allah and His Messenger ﷺ. At-Tirmidhi authentically reports in his Sunan (3925) from `Abdullah Ibn `Adiyy (Radi Allahu Anhu) that Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said whilst addressing Makkah: “By Allah! You are the best of the lands of Allah, and the best land of Allah to Allah! And were it not for the fact that I was expelled from you, I would never have left you.”

Rectify your intentions, you are going to Hajj/Umrah to please Allah and fulfil an obligation. Not to show off, therefore try staying off social media and taking pictures at every juncture. This leads to Riyaa (showing off) which is Haraam in Islam and spoils the whole journey. I will talk about photography later on.

The Prophet ﷺ said: “What I fear for you the most is the minor shirk, that is al-Riya (showing off). Allah will say on the Day of Judgement when He is rewarding the people for their actions: Go to those for whom you did Riya for in the world then see if you find the reward with them.” [Related by Ahmad (5/428, 429) and al-Baghawi in Sharh as-Sunnah (4135) from the hadith of Mahmud bin Lubayd, Radi Allahu Anhu, with an authentic chain upon the conditions of Muslim]

Repent from all sins, major and minor. Make a firm intention, when I return I will NEVER sin again. Pray your Qadha Salah or fulfil Qadha fasts beforehand. Remember, Huqooqul Ibaad (rights of servants) and Huqooqullah (rights of Allah). So the rights of servants are fulfilling debts, asking for forgiveness from people who you have hurt and offended etc. Do not merely say sorry, rather make it genuine and have a firm resolution never to hurt anyone again

Look for a reliable tour operator, don’t just ask one or two people. Do thorough research, check online and look at reviews etc. Find out exactly how far the hotels are from the Haram, rather than believe the standard “5 minutes.” See if you can get pictures of inside the hotel online, Mr Google is more useful than some of us can imagine. Ask what sort of food is served. On such a strenuous journey you need to eat well.

As Hajj/Umrah consist of a LOT of walking, whether it is Tawaf or walking to the Haram it is good to be prepared beforehand. Try walking a mile or two daily before you go for Hajj in sha Allah. You will see the benefits, especially for those who don’t exercise regularly.

I was given a list of things to take when I went to Hajj in 2012, Alhumdu Lillah – I have passed the same list to many friends and family over the years who have added and edited the list:

IMG-20160702-WA0019

In addition to those above:

Small Qur’an (13 lines are not available in Haram)

Take spare dua books if you can (a few times in tawaf I was asked for books from other Hajis)

Vaccination certificates

Ticket copies

Diarrhoea medication

Painkillers

Paracetamol/Ibuprofen

Tissues/toilet roll

Converted Riyals

Umrah Belt

Locks

Carrier bags for laundry

Energy Tablets

Snacks (crisps, biscuits, etc)

Alarm clock

Radox foot soak

How to play Salah on plane/travelling

https://nawadir.org/2017/05/03/repeating-the-salah-performed-on-the-plane-seat/

https://nawadir.org/2017/07/30/salah-for-a-travelling-female-in-her-menses/

https://nawadir.org/2006/03/16/salah-whilst-travelling/

kabah 1

Recite Talbiyah as much as possible in the state of Ihramtalbiyyah.jpg

On the way to Makkah keep reciting first kalimah (tayyibah), at least 1,000 times.

Virtues of Makkah

From the places of virtue that Allah has extolled and mentioned their excellence to the exclusion of others is the city of Makkah: the place of safety, security, the place where revelation to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ began, and from where he was appointed as the Messenger to mankind. It is the city which Allah swears by in the Qur’an:

لَا أُقْسِمُ بِهَٰذَا الْبَلَدِ “I swear by this city, Makkah”

وَأَنتَ حِلٌّ بِهَٰذَا الْبَلَدِ “And you, [O Muhammad], are free of restriction in this city.” (Al-Balad: 1-2)

Imam Ibn Katheer (rahimahullah) said: This is an oath of Allah (the Most High) by Makkah “Umm al-Quraa” (the mother of all towns), due to the fact that living in it puts one in a state that indicates the greatness of the city itself wherein the people are in a state of Ihraam, living in a sanctity. Allah stated:

وَهَٰذَا الْبَلَدِ الْأَمِين “And by this city of security (Makkah).” (At-Teen: 3)

Within Makkah is the Ancient House (Al-Bayt Al-`Ateeq) for the worship of Allah alone. It was the first place of monotheistic worship built for mankind. Allah stated:

إِنَّ أَوَّلَ بَيْتٍ وُضِعَ لِلنَّاسِ لَلَّذِي بِبَكَّةَ مُبَارَكًا وَهُدًى لِّلْعَالَمِينَ “Verily, the first House of worship appointed for mankind was that at Bakkah (Makkah), full of blessing, and a guidance for all of creation.” (Aale `Imran: 96)

It the place from where Allah took His Prophet into the Heavens on the night of the Journey. Allah (Most High) said:

سُبْحَانَ الَّذِي أَسْرَىٰ بِعَبْدِهِ لَيْلًا مِّنَ الْمَسْجِدِ الْحَرَامِ إِلَى الْمَسْجِدِ الْأَقْصَى الَّذِي بَارَكْنَا حَوْلَهُ لِنُرِيَهُ مِنْ آيَاتِنَا ۚ إِنَّهُ هُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْبَصِيرُ

“Glorified and Exalted be He above all that they associate with Him who took His slave for a journey by night from Al-Masjid-al-Haraam (at Makkah) to the farthest mosque (in Jerusalem), the neighbourhood whereof We have blessed, in order that We might show him of Our signs. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Seer.” (Al-Israa: 1)

“There is no city on earth to which all the prophets, the angels, the holy messengers and all the pious servants of Allah, who reside in the heavens and on earth, including the jinn, flocked to, except Makkah.” (Sunan Ibn Majah)

“Around the Ka’bah lies the graves of three hundred prophets.” (Sahih Muslim/Bayhaqi)

“Anyone who falls ill in Makkah for one day, Allah renders his body and his flesh haram (forbidden) from the fire of Jahannam.” (Sahih Bukhari)

Tawaf/Ka’bah

Sayyiduna Abu Umamah (Radiyallahu’anhu) reports that Rasulullah ﷺ said: ‘The doors of the sky open and du’as are accepted on four occasions;

  1. a) When the armies clash in war
  2. b) When rain falls
  3. c) At the time of iqamah [for salah]
  4. d) When looking at the Ka’bah.’

(Al-Mu’jamul Kabir, Hadith: 7713 & 7719 & Sunanul Kubra of Bayhaqi, vol.3 pg.360 with a weak chain. Also see: Majma’uz Zawaid, vol.10 pg.155, Nataijul Afkar, vol.1 pg.383-384, Al-Futuhatur Rabbaniyyah, vol.4 pg.369 & footnotes on Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah, Hadith: 19861) https://hadithanswers.com/duas-accepted-upon-seeng-the-kabah/

From this Hadith Ulama deduce when your first sight falls on the Ka’bah your Duas are accepted. Try and find a good spot to sit/stand for a long time so you can make a lengthy Dua (please pray for me too). When walking in Masjid Haram for the first time keep your gaze low so it doesn’t fall on the Ka’bah, once you find a spot sit and make Dua.

Make dua seriously, not half heartedly. There is a story of Hajjaj ibn Yusuf RH who saw a blind man making Dua in front of the Ka’bah, but he wasn’t paying attention in dua. Hajjaj said to him, “I am going for Tawaf, after seven rounds if your eye sight is not returned I will kill you!” The man panicked and started making Dua passionately and fervently like a man who is drowning! Before Hajjaj finished, the man’s eyesight was returned.  Subhan’Allah!

Try to make sure your Ihram is tightly fastened, use safety pins if necessary. Try not to let the bottom piece drag too low as people tend to step on it (which may lead to embarrassment!). Same for sisters, which is a bit more difficult as women tend to wear more loose clothing and it drags along the floor. But if someone steps on your abayah it can cause a lot of inconvenience especially if you wear the long abayahs from head to toe! All I can say is be careful, because in Tawaf you are very close together especially in the Mataf (area around the Ka’bah). Men should also, use a belt if necessary. Very handy to keep your money in as well.

I love a man with Gheerah/Ghayrat! But we also need common sense with Gheerah (protective jealousy), many men do Tawaf with their wife (ves)! And they form a ring around their womenfolk, which is all good and well, but you can’t do Tawaf right next to the Ka’bah and not expect anybody to push or touch your womenfolk (accidentally), it is sure to happen in those areas. Then some men go one step ahead and push and shove anyone who comes close to their wife/daughter. It is ridiculous! Like I said, I admire their Ghayrat, but these couples need to do Tawaf on the outskirts of mataf or on the upper floors, where it is less busy! The Mother of Believers, ‘Ā’ishah (Allah be pleased with her) used to do ṭawāf in an area away from the men, and she did not touch the Black Stone or the Yemeni Corner if there was crowding. It was narrated that ‘Ata’ said:

‘Ā’ishah used to do ṭawāf far away from the men, not mixing with them.” A woman said: “O Mother of the Believers, let us go and touch the Black Stone!” She said: “Go yourself,” and she refused to go.

In my opinion, the best place for women to do ṭawāf is on the roof of the Masjid. Now it may seem like a big distance from far, but I promise you, all it takes is an hour and 10 minutes, to be precise, to complete a ṭawāf, walking at an average pace. Now the Shayṭān may play with your mind and make it seem like a lot. But then ask yourself this…don’t you easily, easily, walk an hour ten minutes in the shopping mall?

Tawaf starts from the area in line with Hajr Aswad (black stone), opposite the black stone there is a green light which can also be used to indicate where the Tawaf starts. In previous time there was a thin piece of marble which went all the way down the Mataf, this also indicated the start of Tawaf as it is good to be precise.green-light-tawaf-indicator

As far as I know, wheelchairs are not allowed in the Mataf for Tawaf. Apparently, now there are scooters available for Tawaf on certain floors.

You can read any form of Dhikr/Dua looking in a book or off by heart in Tawaf or even Qur’an and Surahs you know off by heart. If you are reading from a book, it is safer to do Tawaf on the outside, as reading books slow people down. Which doesn’t help people behind you.

When people are on the last Tawaf (seventh one) they struggle to get out of the Tawaf congregation because it is choc a block, especially if you like to do Tawaf close to the Ka’bah. A good tip for you is, as you do the seventh Tawaf start walking out slowly i.e. do the seventh Tawaf on the outskirts of the Mataf. So as soon as you finish, kiss the Hajre Aswad then you can leave the Mataf and pray your two Rak’ahs for Tawaf. Also, stick out your hand as a gesture that you are leaving, not barge your way through as some people do.

Also, the correct method of kissing the Hajre Aswad is to kiss your palms not your fingers as people tend to do. (Women’s guide to Hajj and Umrah – Mufti Faruq Saheb)

The multazam (place of clinging) is the part of the Ka’bah that is between the Black Stone and the door of the Ka’bah. What is meant by iltizam (clinging) is when the supplicant (person making du’aa’) places his chest, face, forearms and palms against it and calls upon Allah saying whatever du’aa’ he wishes. Try not to push and hurt others, leave room for women too at the Multazam.

There is no specific du’aa’ that the Muslim should say in that place. He can cling to the Multazam when he enters the Ka’bah (if it is easy for him to enter) or he may do that before performing the Farewell tawaaf (tawaaf al-wadaa’), or he may do it at any time he wants. He should not cause difficulty for other people by offering a lengthy du’aa’. Similarly it is not permissible to crowd other people or annoy them in order to cling there. If he sees a space then he should say du’aa’. Otherwise it is sufficient for him to say du’aa’ whilst circumambulating and when prostrating in prayer.

It was narrated that ‘Abd al-Rahman ibn Safwaan (Allah be pleased with him) said: “When the Messenger of Allah ﷺ conquered Makkah, I said: I will put on my garments, as my house was on the road, and I will wait and see what the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) does. So I went and I saw that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) had come out of the Ka’bah, he and his companions, and they were touching the House from the Door to the Black Stone. They had placed their cheeks against the House and the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was in the midst of them.Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1898; Ahmad, 15124.

Ibn Abbas (Radiyallahu Anhu) narrates that he heard Rasulullah ﷺ say: “The Multazam is a place where duas are accepted. Whenever a person prays to Allah, at this spot, Allah grants his prayer”.[Al-Hisnul-Haseen, Musalsalaat, Virtues of Haj – page 111]

Multazam is that part which is situated between the black stone and the door of Ka’bah. Multazam comes from the Arabic word ‘Iltizaam’ which means ‘to cling on to something’ or ‘to be attached to something’. It is so called because a person should touch his body to this section and make dua.

Imam Abu Dawood reports that Ibn Abbas (Radiyallahu Anhu) would stand up straight here with chest and face against the Ka’bah, arms stretched out above the head, leaning against the Ka’bah. He then said: “I saw Rasulullah ﷺ doing this”.

Shaykh Zakariyya (Rahmatullahi Alayhi) writes: “It was a common experience of every Ustadh of the above Hadith, from my teacher (Hadhrat Maulana Khalil Ahmed Saharanpuri Rahmatullahi Alayhi) to Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam that they said: “I prayed at the Multazam in the above manner and my prayer was granted”. Shaykh RH writes: “This has also been my person experience”.

Note: This dua at Multazam should not be made during the Tawaf, otherwise Tawaf will be affected. It is to be made after completion of Tawaf and preferably after praying two rakats Tahiyyatut-Tawaf.

Hasan Basri (Rahmatullahi Alayhi) wrote a letter to the people of Makkah Mukarramah informing them that there are fifteen places in the vicinity of Haram Shareef where duas are accepted (Mustajaab Places)

  1. During Tawaf
    2. At the Multazam
    3. Under the Meezabur-Rahmah (the water sprout in Hateem, from where the rain water drops off from the roof of Ka’bah).
    4. Inside Ka’bah Shareef
    5. At the well of ZamZam (after drinking ZamZam)
    6. On Safa
    7. On Marwa
    8. While walking between Safa & Marwa
    9. At Maqaame Ibraheem
    10. On the plain of Arafaat
    11. At Muzdalifa
    12. At Mina
    13. 14. 15. At the time of pelting the three Shayaateens in Mina.
    [Narrated in Al-Hisnul-Haseen]

Shaykh Zakariyya (Rahmatullahi Alayhi) writes: “Some Ulama have added a few more e.g.”

– Inside the Mataaf (where Tawaf is made)
– When one’s sight falls on the Ka’bah (especially the first time)
– Inside the Hateem (the semi-circle around Ka’bah)
– Between Rukne Yamami & Hujare Aswad
[Virtues of Hajj – Page 112]

Great precaution needs to be taken when going to kiss the Hajre Aswad, it is a great Sunnah but saving yourself from harming others is Fardh. The same applies to making Dua at the Multazam and going into the Hateeem. Brothers need to be fair to the women in these areas. We can’t just block them out. I wouldn’t advise women to try and kiss the Hajre Aswad in busy periods I saw one woman trying to kiss it in Ramadhan and her Hijab came off or got pulled off… Astaghfirullah! “Prevention is better than cure.” The Multazam area is between the door of the Ka’bah and Hajre Aswad. There is enough room for men AND women if we can be considerate, the same applies in the Hateem to pray Salah and make dua.

“For verily, anyone who touches the Hajre Aswad is cleansed of his sins just as he was on the day his mother gave birth to him.” (Musnad lmam Ahmad)

It helps to wear thin socks when doing Nafl Tawaf (not in Umrah) as it can help your heels, or the leather ankle ones available to buy in Makkah.

Thursday night, the Tawaf usually gets busier than normal. As local people come for Tawaf because of Jumuah

Women should not be praying loud in Tawaf. This year I saw a lady lead her group praying loud, whilst her group repeats after her. Women cannot be Imams! “Be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire.” (Surah Al-Ahzab Ayah 32) Second is the Hadith found in “Sahih Bukhari” Narrated Abu Hurayrah  (Allah be pleased with him)

‘The Prophet ﷺ said, “The saying ‘Subhan Allah’ is for men and clapping is for women.” (If something happens in the prayer, the men can invite the attention of the Imam by saying “Subhan Allah”. And women, by clapping their hands). Sahih Al-Bukhari Vol #2, Book #22, Hadith #295.

Support for this can be found in the book of Al-Hafidh Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani “Bulugh Al-Maram” in the tafseer of this Hadith it mentions the clapping is for woman because the men should not hear the woman’s voice. (Bulugh Al-Maram : Arabic/English Page # 81 Hadith # 174)

kabah 3Etiquette of the Masjid/Haram

Avoid sin

The companions Umar (Allah be pleased with him) and Abdullah Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) would say, “I would prefer to commit seventy sins in Rukyah (a place outside Makkah) than commit a single sin in Makkah.” (Kanzul Ummal)

The evidence of Shari`ah (Islamic Law) indicates that good deeds are multiplied in honourable times, such as Ramadhan, and the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah, and places like the Two Sacred Masjids (Mosques). They are highly rewarded in Makkah and Al-Madinah, as it is reported in the authentic Hadith that the Prophet ﷺ said: “One Salah (Prayer) in my Masjid (mosque) [i.e. Al-Masjid Al-Nabawy (the Prophet’s Mosque in Madinah)] is better than thousand Salahs in any other Masjid, except Al-Masjid Al-Haram (the Sacred Mosque in Makkah). And one Salah in Al-Masjid Al-Haram is better than hundred thousand Salahs in my Masjid.” (Related by Ahmad and Ibn Hibban through an authentic Isnad [chain of transmission])

Many people tend to leave things in the saff/rows for Salah to reserve their place. This is incorrect. Please see fatwa below:

Question: What is the ruling regarding reserving one’s position in the front saff between 2 Salahs with one’s scarf, hat or any other item?

Answer:

Assalamu Alaikum,

The Masjid is the house of Allah and is open to all Muslims who come for Salaah. Whoever comes first and sits in a certain place, then he is deserving of that spot. The Fuqaha (jurist) have written that is Makrooh (reprehensible) for one to reserve a place for himself in the Masjid to perform Salaah on that spot. (Kitabul Fatawa vol. 3 pg. 115 – Al Fatawa Al Hindiya vol. 1 pg. 108).

Based on these explanations, it will not be proper (in fact, it will be reprehensible) for one to fix a spot in the first Saff by putting a scarf, hat etc. to reserve it for his own self. It should also be noted that it is Makrooh (reprehensible) for a person to ask another one to get up from his place (in the Masjid) and sit in that place. Abdullah Bin Umar (R.A) narrated that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) prohibited that one should make another get up from his place and then sit on it.

With respect to if a person was sitting on a spot and then left to attend to a need (to return) when he returns he will be more deserving of that spot. In this regard, Abu Hurairah (R.A) narrated that the Prophet (s.a.w) said, ‘If anyone gets up from his place of sitting and then returns to that spot, then he is more deserving of that spot.” (Abu Dawood – Kitabul Fatawa vol. 3 pg. 113)

And Allah Knows best.

Mufti Waseem Khan https://darululoomtt.net/reserving-seat-masjid/

IMG_9148Many women like to pray Salah next to men or directly behind them:

The Messenger ﷺ in which he said: “The best rows for men are the front ones and the worst are the back ones, and the best rows for women are the back ones and the worst are the front ones.”

The hadeeth quoted is saheeh, but according to the scholars it is to be interpreted in this manner, which is when there is no barrier between the men and women. But if they are screened from the men, then the best rows are the front ones and the worst ones are the back ones, just as is the case with men, and they have to complete the front rows first, then the next and so on, and close the gaps, just like men, because of the general meaning of the proven hadeeth from the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) concerning that. May Allah help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.

Walking in front of someone praying Salah

If you are in Tawaf it is okay to walk in front of someone praying Salah, other than that the ruling is the same i.e. you are not allowed to walk in front of someone praying Salah. I understand at time it can be difficult to get out, but we must still walk with precaution. As both the Masjids in the Haram are large Masjids, you can leave two rows in front of the one praying and cross over. But never walk directly in front of someone praying Salah if they are praying alone; Sunnah/Nafl.

This hadeeth – i.e., the hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhari (487) and Muslim (505) from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (Radiyallahu Anhu) says “If any one of you is praying, he should not let anyone pass in front of him. Let him push him away as much as he can, and if he insists then let him fight him, for he is nothing but a shaytan (devil)” – indicates that it is makrooh to pass in front of a person who is praying if he is praying on his own and without a sutrah. The same ruling applies to the imam if he is praying without a sutrah. But with regard to the person who is praying behind the imam, it does not matter what passes in front of him, just as it does not matter what passes in front of the imam or person praying alone if it passes behind the sutrah. The sutrah of the imam is also the sutrah of those who are praying behind him.

We say this concerning the imam and the person who prays alone, because the Prophet ﷺ said, “If any one of you is praying…” According to the scholars, this means praying on his own, because of the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Abbas (Radiyallahu Anhu). Hence we say that the person who is praying behind the imaam does not have to push away the person who passes in front of him, because Ibn ‘Abbas (Radiyallahu Anhu) said:  “I came along riding on a female donkey one day when I had just reached the age of puberty. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was leading the people in prayer in Mina, without any kind of wall in front of him. I passed in front of part of the row, then I got down and sent the donkey to graze, and joined the row, and no one rebuked me for that.” (al-Tamheed, 4/187)

Drink Zamzam and drink to your full, remember duas are accepted when drinking Zamzam so make dua EVERY time for yourself and for others (and please remember me). For further info on Zamzam click this.

Prophet ﷺ said: “The water of Zamzam is for whatever purpose it is drunk for.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah, 2/1018; see Al-Maqasid al-Hasanah by al-Sakhaawi, p. 359).

Zamzam 2

 

Photography is totally forbidden in the Masjid. Scholars have given a fatwa permitting video and photography for da’wah purposes and others have said digital images are okay. But the stronger and preferable view will always be to abstain from such things, as it can be a reason for a lack of sincerity and showing off on social media. Most of these actions lead to showing off, the Prophet warned us about this:

The Prophet ﷺ said: “Shall I not inform you of what I fear for you more than the Masih ad-Dajjal? It is the hidden shirk. It is when a man stands up for prayer, then beautifies his prayer for another to look at.” [Related by Ibn Majah (2604) from the hadith of Abu Sa’id al-Khudri, radiallahu ‘anhu. The hadith is hasan]

Are you going to Hajj for Allah or for Facebook friends?!

I was really strict this Ramadhan and I actually stood in the way of people taking photos (my Jihad against selfies!) because I received a talk from a scholar of Pakistan, Mufti MahmoodulHassan Shah Mas’oodi Saheb who said:

“Shaykh Abdul Rehman al-Huzayfi (hafdihahullah) – Imam of Masjid Nabwi SAW- gave a Khutbah after Dhuhr Salah (normally there are no Khutbahs after Salah, apart from Jumuah), he told the people to stop taking photographs in the Haram as this causes takleef/inconvenience to Allah SWT and his Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), you hurt the angels! Do you want to be cursed? I stand for Salah as the imam, you take your mobile phones out! The muaddhin gives adhan, you take your phone out! People were crying, it was a long Khutbah. After Asr Salah someone explained to us the reason for the Khutbah. He had a dream of the Imam of the Prophets, The beloved of Allah, The leader of creation ﷺ blessed me with his presence in a dream and informed me, “Tell people to stop taking photographs as it hurts me, it breaks my heart.”

Mufti Mahmood saheb explains, the enemies of Islam hurt the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), but how can we as the Ummah of the Prophet ﷺ hurt him or cause him pain?

I was once with Dr Abdul Salam Saheb, who is my Shaykh form Pakistan. We were together in Madinah, we came out of the Masjid. Once we had walked a fair distance, an alim who was residing in Madinah said to my beloved Shaykh, “This place is blessed, beloved, very virtuous and lofty in status. But, many people come here then leave and their Iman leaves with them. Because of the sins they do and takleef they cause people.” Allah shows his pious servants and His friends such things through the eyes of the heart!

Now, ask yourself is social media and photography that important? It is like iphone is the new Qibla and Snapchat is the new Qur’an. People tend to look at them more, sadly. Please avoid taking a smartphone if there is no need.

sm

Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (One who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)

15 Shawwal 1439

 

Under the Green Dome

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

IMG_8998The city of Hijrah, a city once called Yathrib,
The heart ❤️ of Islam, the resting place of al-Habeeb (SAW),
This is Madinah, whisper softly.
Clouds ☁️ of mercy envelope you in the day, the black starry ⭐️ sky wraps you at night,
Here rests the Lantern of Guidance who spread his white shimmering light,
This is Madinah, whisper softly.
The Sultan of Madinah, the Prince of Arabia, the Jewel of Islam, Imam of the Prophets, Leader of Mankind,
You fulfilled the Amanah, you passed on the message (of Islam), only those rejected who were blind,
This is Madinah, whisper softly.
Light upon light, mercy upon mercy, bounty upon bounty, blessings upon blessings, grace upon grace,
Ya RasoolAllah! Remove the veils and grant us sight of your glorious face.
This is Madinah, whisper softly.
You are a bandage for the wounded,
Your generosity leaves us dumbfounded,
You are the ointment for the sick,
You united your companions, like a building brick by brick,
This is Madinah whisper softly.
AbuBakr RA, Umar RA, Uthman RA, Ali RA,
They were those who after you guided rightly,
All your companions shone like stars ✨ bright,
Through your teachings, they attained great heights.
You called us “your brothers”, but from the right path we have strayed,
O Muhammad! (SAW) forgive us for the brotherhood we have betrayed,
We are indebted to you, not an ounce we have repaid,
Our deeds are shown to you full of sins and vice, mistakes have been made,
We seek your pardon from this day forward we will make up for the deeds that have been delayed,
Reignite your love, quench our thirsty souls, before our Iman fades.
I sit here under the green dome pondering for a while,
How wonderful was your smile,
How beautiful it would be to see you in Salah lead,
Recite the Quran eloquently and read,
To watch your companions weeping and taking heed,
It was here Islam was planted and you sowed the seed.
Oh! How I wish I was a pigeon flying over your dome just to be blessed with your company,
Rather, I deserve to be just a wing or a feather.
Perhaps I could have been a tree to give you shade when you rested,
Nay! A branch or leaf 🍃 would have sufficed.
Let the soil of Madinah be the Surma for my eyes,
These eyes have no purpose if for you they don’t cry.
I have an earnest request to be close to you, to be your beloved friend,
Let the last chapter of my life finish and end,
In this holy city let me spend,
My final breath, my last moments, from here let my soul ascend.
Let my soul be taken in this sanctified place,
Grant me in al-Baqi a shroud and space.
So I may attain his Shafa’ah,
The day I need it most on Qiyamah.
(Final plea) O Allah! If you have to take me to account on Qiyamah,
Please do it away from the gaze of Mustafa SAW.
It was narrated that Anas bin Malik (Allah be pleased with him) said:
“The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘None of you truly believes until I am more beloved to him than his child, his father and all the people.'” (Ibn Majah)
Ismail Ibn Nazir Satia, al-Madinatul Munawwarah
23 Ramadhan 1439
IMG_9150

Centre of the World; Centre of Islam

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

kabah 1
Behold its grandeur and dazzling beauty,
Behold its magnificence and majestic aura,
Enlightened with mercy in its perfect form.
In the land of the Prophets AS, the land of Wahy,
The tall, towering Kabah, welcomes all of humanity.
It was in this mountainous city, it was amongst a tribal nation, a light was born,
The noor from Allah and finally the curtains were drawn.
The city is blessed; from an army of elephants 🐘 it was protected,
Darkness turned to light when Muhammed SAW was selected.
Oh Muhammad (SAW), the pain you endured. Oh the most perfect creation.
Your elegance, your sanctity, your endless magnanimity.
O Kabah! O house of Allah! O beautiful Haram!
Your elegance, your sanctity, your endless magnanimity.
May my mother and father be sacrificed for you both.
So solemnly you stand, so peaceful in tranquility,
May your greatness extend till forever and ever, till eternity.
Not a bird can fly over you nor any planes,
Your serenity and dignity is not defeated by these looming cranes.
Every night and every day,
120 levels of mercy descend your way.
60 upon those doing tawaf,
40 upon those in Salah,
20 upon those gazing at you lovingly.
Not a single soul here is deprived.
 Echoes of Talbiyah can be heard, let this Sunnah be revived.
I gaze above, my head I raise, thousands upon thousands crowded, multicoloured, multicultural flowing in multitudes circumambulating this holy place.
All walking, praying, chanting in different languages at a different pace.
Some with speed, to increase their deeds,
Whilst others steady on, looking out for each and every one.
Muslim unity can be seen all around,
Different languages, dialects, colours and castes, all under one awe-inspiring mast.
Lebanon 🇱🇧Turkey 🇹🇷 India 🇮🇳 Pakistan 🇵🇰 Nigeria 🇳🇬…
Indonesia 🇮🇩 Malaysia 🇲🇾 Australia 🇦🇺 and Algeria 🇩🇿
kabah 3.jpg
Towards my right clinging on to the Multazam,
Begging Allah, waiting for the mercy to come.
As I look behind me,
I see the well of Zamzam which will flow till eternity.
Some sipping their cups and some filling their jugs,
Completing Tawaf and ending Umrah with smiles and hugs 🤗
Mubarak ho! Hayyakymullah! TaqaballAllah can be heard!
Allah accept every step and every word.
This poem was written to inspire and increase our love for the Haramayn Shareefayn, to instil its beauty and dignity in our hearts. Allah accept my efforts and reignite our love for the holy lands.
Ismail ibn Nazir Satia, Makkatul Mukarramah. 
5 Ramadhan 1439
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