Love Notes – Shaykh Yahya Ibrahim, Australia
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
- A study looked at Muslim couples who get divorced:
- Shaykh mentioned 68% of couples in the UK will divorce in the first 3 years of marriage.
○ Most of those who got divorced are educated
○ Many of them had the kind of jobs, where they intervene to defuse conflict
● The intent of the course is to speak about love to Muslims from a philosophical perspective
● We will talk about what makes you, you?
○ What does Islam offer, to make you the best of you
● Look at the words that are used to describe marriage and love in Islam
○ Imam Ibn Hazm coined the word soul mate – the first time westerners saw that a soul can love another soul
○ Imam Ibn Qayim RH has a book called Rawdat Al Muhibeen
○ Ibn Ul Jawzi RH – Said if a man does not know how to love, he should eat hay, because he’s a donkey
○ Muslims saw that we should cling onto one another and love one another so we can become khulafah on the earth → so that children can receive the earth in a way that is better than the way that we received it, that is the concept of khulafah
● There is no book of hadith that does not mention the love between the Prophet SAW and his wives
○ The year that Khadijah RA died, became the year of sadness
○ The Prophet SAW is a role model
● What the poster doesn’t show
○ Doesn’t show what’s behind them
● When the Prophet SAW talks about marriage, he says it’s half of your deen
○ You actualize a lot of the characteristics of Islam during your relationship with your spouse
○ The money that a man spends on his family is “sadaqah” [Muslim]
- When you say the shahadah, it has conditions,
○ You begin to learn the importance of Allah when you gather knowledge [ilm]
○ The second step is [yaqeen] certainty
○ That leads you to [inqiyad] submission, which leads you to practice, in the way that Allah swt requested
○ Number 5 is [sidq] to be more truthful with Allah swt
○ and that leads you to [Ikhlas], having enough, other than Allah, put all my trust to
○ Last level, is love [hob] → you begin loving Allah too much to miss prayer.
● Love is the last level of worship, and some people worship things that they should, Allah doesn’t say worship he says love “yohiboonahu ka hob illah”
- ‘Uboodiya (worship) → anything Allah loves for you to do, whether it is a word you say, an action you do, or a feeling in your heart
● We are not here just to talk about romance, we are here to talk about love, loving your dad, your mom, your country.
● The origin for the word “husband” or “spouse” is very different in English and Qur’anic Arabic
● Husbandry: “convincing a bull to sire a cow”
● Other words for “spouse” in the Quran
زَ وج ■
● two distinct, unique individuals that upon joining, become one so you don’t see the seam between them.
● your inner intimate garment is called libas; nobody is as close to you as that garment
● “libas ul harb” the armour of war, she is the shield from the dunya
َصا ِحبَة ■
● 42 words for love in the Arabic language
● Sahib: the one that walks with you for life
قُ رةَ أَ ْعُي
● “fills the eyes of your husband”
● “there is no provision greater than that of a righteous woman. She is a women that when a husband sees her, he feels happiness in the heart” [Muslim]
● She’s your fortress, palace, castle
● You are the moat that surrounds her
● “My spring/fountain of all good”
● He is the one that showers me with good, with his words, his wealth, etc
● That is how Sarah describes Ibrahim (AS)
● He created the heavens and earth in truth. He wraps the night over the day and wraps the day over the night and has subjected the sun and the moon, each running [its course] for a specified term. Unquestionably, He is the Exalted in Might, the Perpetual Forgiver. He created you from one soul. Then He made from it its mate… [39:5-6]
○ When Allah talks about all these dualities (heavens/earth, night/day, sun/moon), He inserts one singularity: one soul.
○ when you get married, you’re two separate entities that come together from one pairing
Opinions on Marriage
- Marriage will make me a better Muslim
- Marriage will protect me from falling into fitnah and haram
- Marriage will make me live happily ever after
- In marriage, you cannot hate the person you love
○ One of the strangest things about love: the person you love the most…it’s a fine line between despicable hate and love
○ genuine love can transform into hate bc you’re investing so much love in that person
○ healthiest marriages: achieve equilibrium between love and hate knowing it’s okay to hate things the person does
- Marriage will heal all my past wounds
- Marriage is a piece of cake if you marry the right person
- Marriage benefits men more than women
- Love is enough to sustain a marriage
○ The economy is rough LOL – when the economy is rough, divorce sky rockets
○ Prophet (SAW) – One of the things we look for in marriage is “Malihah”, her wealth
- Religious practising Muslims have a perfect marriage FALSE
- Marriage is a natural process that you can figure out on your own FALSE
○ requires thought, DETERMINATION
○ Prophet (SAW) to Jabir (RA), a man who told him got engaged: “did you look into her eyes” – meaning did you find love in her eyes? Did you spend enough time looking into her eyes to know she’s the one? Marriage isn’t something you just come by!
So exalted is Allah when you reach the evening and when you reach the morning. And
to Him is [due all] praise throughout the heavens and the earth. And [exalted is He] at
night and when you are at noon. He brings the living out of the dead and brings the
dead out of the living and brings to life the earth after its lifelessness. And thus will you
be brought out. And of His signs is that He created you from dust; then, suddenly you
were human beings dispersing [throughout the earth]. And of His signs is that He
created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He
placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. And of His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth and the
diversity of your languages and your colours. Indeed, in that are signs for those of
knowledge. Surah Rum [30:17-22]
– He speaks about light and day – He speaks about the lifeless earth coming back to life and thriving with vegetation – Then he talks about the soul vs dust – And in the middle of all these he talks about the relationship in partners, and it is no longer about the dualities, it is about the singularity
→ Someone from yourselves, mates He likes it to- “signs” His about talking by verse ends AND begins -إِ ن فِي َٰذَِل َك َلَيَا ت – saying, “pay attention” – Prophet (SAW) – when Adam was created, our souls were created “like ants” – there’s a moment where the soul is brought to life. you’re born into this life and your soul itself is not extinguishable – Prophet (SAW) (Hadith of Imam Bukhari) – The souls when they were created in the time of Adam, they were brought into groupings, and the souls became familiar with one another – A long essay is written about this hadith, and it says if there is a bright soul, and it enters into a room of 1000 dark souls, and one bright soul, that soul would attach itself to the other bright soul – souls gravitate to each other … or make you hate each other’s guts – The concept of soul mates for us isn’t just husband and wife – your bffs, your parents, your teachers – scent is powerful – sometimes you might smell something in the air, maybe Coco Chanel like grandma wore…sometimes it really takes you back to a certain time in your life – Your soul remembers people, just like your scent does, and it brings warmness into your heart he said he ,(soul) روح the about asked was SAW Prophet the When – couldn’t say much that is in the knowledge of Allah and we don’t know much about it – Sometimes our soul pushes back people we should be attracted to, and that is because we need to purify our soul effort requires purification – قد أفلح من زكاها – – we attempt to connect with people for marriage and on paper they seem like reasonable candidates…but at that moment when you push back someone who is good, his soul might be too clean, and your soul might be a bit tarnished – your soul might not be accessible to that righteous man/women Good the with up matched usually is Good The – الطيبون لطيبات –
When you are looking for marriage – you need to make sure your soul is accessible to pious souls – don’t always put it on the other person
Quranic Stories about Spouses
The Qur’an is a holistic document that outlines a lifestyle for us. There are many lessons and examples for us to draw from.
● Adam (AS)
○ He asks for a “sahibah”, someone with him
○ Jannah is not enough. You need someone who loves you
■ Even the shaheed, looks behind and Allah gives him the news of them joining you
○ Allah creates for him and blesses him with his wife Hawa’
○ Allah tells Adam (AS) to not eat from the tree as Iblees is an enemy to you and Hawa [20:117]
■ (according to hadith, the greatest thing that the little shayateen can do to make Iblis happy is to convince a man and his wife to split up)
○ Iblis wanted to uncover the blessing that Allah SWT gave Adam, and expose their bad
○ Responsibility for the sin is greater on Adam (AS) (very different from other scriptures)
○ Adam AS and Hawa RA were separated when they descended to Earth
■ Jeddah got its name from Jaddah, the Arabic word for grandmother. It is where Hawa’ is believed to have descended
■ Adam AS ‘arafa-ha, or, “recognized her” a little before Maghrib and it is the same day we commemorate on ‘Arafa during Hajj
■ That is when Adam made that dua’a “Rabbana dhalamna anfusana…”
“Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves, and if You do not forgive us
and have mercy upon us, we will surely be among the losers.”
■ That dua’a and that moment of worship commemorates a moment of love that millions of people recreate on Yawm al ‘Arafa
■ Then they came together, and worshiped Allah SWT The first place that a person made sujood to Allah SWT was Adam, inside the fortified walls of the ka’abah.
● Ayyoub (AS)
○ Lots of time people say, we should have patience/endurance like Ayoub (AS)
○ For the first 50 years of his life, Allah gave him prosperity
■ (he had 7 daughters and 7 sons, wealth, the people who he was sent to preach to accept him)
○ After 50 years of prosperity, Allah began to test him.
■ The earthquake made his house collapse and children all died at once;
■ All his servants were killed and wealth looted;
■ people thought he was a false prophet, because “why would God do this to a righteous prophet? he must be cursed.” everyone left his side;
■ His body became decayed and sickly
○ His wife stayed. This man who had everything, lost everything, except his wife
■ The woman who was a mistress of the house became a servant
■ People did not want to be near her as to not “catch her curse”
■ She would ask Ayoub to make dua’a to Allah, and Ayoub said “I am shy to ask Allah after 50 years of prosperity, to ask Allah for relief after only 4 years of hardship”
■ His wife came back with food and when he asked where it came from she pulled back her scarf (she had cut her hair and sold it for food)
○ After seeing his wife suffer, this man (AS) of patience made dua’a “My lord harm has touched me and my family, and you are the most merciful of those who show mercy”
■ It was as if Allah was just waiting for him to ask…
■ A spring gushed forth and Ayyub (AS) drank from the spring, and became young and has been given their life again and everything returned to him
■ The thing that moved Ayoub was love, it is that he loved his wife more than his own patience
○ The right of the servant is to be put before the right you owe Allah CIRCUMSTANTIALLY
■ If your wife (or mom or dad etc) falls sick, and you were going to hajj and your ihraam is on and your foot almost out the door, you stay.
→ The right your family member has on you is greater than that obligation to Allah
■ Abdullah Ibn Mubarak RH – Went for hajj and saw a dream of those who made hajj and their hajj was accepted. He saw the face of a man and where he lived
● Abdullah immediately went to see him. Upon meeting the man, he found that he had not made hajj! The man said that he was on his when he saw an impoverished man. He realized that he that the wealth he had planned to use to go
Love Notes By Sh Yahya Ibrahim 5 to hajj would be enough to get the man in need on his own two feet. So he gave it to him and made dua’a that he would get to go for Hajj later. THAT is the man that Abdullah saw with a shining face.
● Prophet Dawood (AS)
○ King of his time, had many wives
○ Looked over his marketplace and saw a beautiful woman. He asked if this woman is spoken for? They said no, but she is promised to the general.
■ for a moment Dawud (AS)’s heart thought “if that man becomes Shaheed… Allah give him Jannah” lol
○ (In Surah Saad)
■ Allah sent two men (really angels) that jump in front of him and he reels back. One of them says “don’t be scared, we are two men that are quarrelling. He has 99 sheep and I have 1 (representing blessings), and he keeps desiring my 1 sheep to complete his 1 00.
■ Dawud says, he has wronged you to even suggest that he should give you your sheep.
■ Then it clicked in his mind that it was a test from Allah! It was a message indicating that he (AS) have been blessed with so much, and that generally is the one who has that one sheep…so Dawud (AS) fell in prostration
○ The stories of the Quran are full of love and passion
● Nuh (AS)
○ Imagine you are some sheikh, and you are on the pulpit for Juma’a and you are telling it as it is…Then your wife walks out and says “It’s all nonsense! He is making it all up!” Your son is sitting there and saying, “PSHHH, don’t listen to this guy. He knows nothing.” (People would be like, when your family believes, then come talk to me lol”)
○ Your wife and your son become adversaries and they become leaders of those who disbelieve
○ Imagine that is you, just a sheikh – Imagine being the Prophet of Allah
○ Nuh AS never gives up
○ Nuh is on a ship on land that has been experiencing a drought for years and people are looking at him like he is crazy – until Allah swt orders the sky to let down its rain, and the sky gushes until the waves become the size of mountains
■ And Nuh asks his son, belief in God so I can let you on the ship, his son says, I don’t believe in you or your god or your ship, I’ll go up to that mountain and it will protect me from the waters
■ So he says, my son, none will be protected except those that are on this ship, and then he refuses and he becomes one of those who drowned
■ Nuh says to Allah “When you promise, it is true, you said you would save me and my family, he is part of me and he drowned” so Allah said, “he is not your family, forget him”
● The illegitimate is not to be loved, Allah will always get you out of those drowning waters and until the last moments Allah will provide you what is good – but he will never make the illegitimate, legitimate
● What makes you and I who we are? Why are the stories of the messengers something that still resonates with us?
○ Part 1: Jasad – 70% of us is water, 30% is organic
■ The difference between us and pigs is less than 1% (genetically speaking)
■ In the Quran: Those who know God, but do not accept God are like Cattle
○ Part 2: Mind
■ Rational being, we think and can anticipate what is happening
■ Allah has blessed the son of Adam with the mind, drugs and intoxicants are haram because they take away the mind
■ Don’t think that animals do not have emotions and feelings too
■ Sheikh plays this video
● Sometimes we think we are the only beings that actually matter
● Ibn Qayim writes 60 pages on Allah quoting the ant
○ Ant knows delegation & authority
○ Knows what is home & what isn’t
○ It knows name “Solomon”, and his troops (knows our functions)
○ And the ant makes an excuse (if they trample you then they don’t know)
○ Ibn Qayyim lists 11 types of language that the ant uses
■ Allah inspires the bees regarding how it can live its life
■ Don’t ever think that the world around you is meaningless, simple experiments show that there is so much more in the world that Allah created
■ They are a nation, just like you are a nation
○ Part 3: Soul
■ There are 3 components, and this 3rd part is what makes us insaan
■ The majesty of the soul lives in the heart – The heart is the throne of the soul
● The chest is what protects the heart
● Haritha (one of the sahabah) is walking and the Prophet SAW says how are you and he says I woke up a mu’min, Prophet SAW said why? He said when I pray it is if I see Allah but I do not see him; when I sin, I see the fire, but it is not
Love Notes By Sh Yahya Ibrahim 7 there; When I do good, I see Jannah, but I do not see it – So Prophet SAW touches his chest and he says you are a believer
● Hope, mercy, love of God is in your chest, it is important to keep that spirit true
● When Allah talks about Imaan he says Allah opened his chest to Imaan (that is the imagery given to us by Allah SWT)
● That is why the heart is so important to talk about love because the heart is what governs the rest of us
● When your heart is closer to Allah, it is easier to come closer to people à that is the beauty of the dua’ of Musa “’ishrahly sadry”, open my heart to people
● The premise of this class is to bring our hearts closer to Allah so that we can come close to his servants
■ The 3 levels are ascending levels
■ Islam also has 3 levels, Islam, Ihsan and Iman; Each of those 3 levels matches our 3 parts
● Islam (Jasad) – You must physically say the words of the shahadah, pray, fast, do Hajj, and give zakat, Islam matches the physicalness of you jasad
● Imaan (Akl) – Matches your mind, the 6 articles of faith cannot be qualified/rationalized, but they are believed. Iman came to subdue the rationale that pulls you away from Allah
● Ihsan (Ruh) – Even though you cannot see Allah in life, your heart is always aware of Allah. Everything you witness in life connects you to Allah
○ Imam Sufyan al Thawri is walking out of the masjid, and a man begins to abuse him, his students try to stop him, he says no leave him and he says “I know the sin that I did that brought this upon me”
○ Imam Sufyan RH would give his students 3 rules when teaching them:
■ Correct what is between you and Allah, and he will help you correct what is between you and mankind
■ Fix what is between you and Allah privately, he will make your public good with others
■ Remember Allah when you don’t need him, and he will know you when you need him
○ There are angels whose job is to catch our hadith (dua’a) and throw it back at us because it is not worthy of ascending – hadith of the Prophet SAWarmour
I came across the post below on Buruj Lan-dan’s page on why we as Muslim women don’t pray when we’re on our monthly periods, and it’s a topic that’s been on my mind for a while so I wanted to share it with you adding my own reflections at the end.
Why don’t we pray when we are on our monthly cycles?
A dear friend of mine explained it to me and it blew me away. May Allah protect her always.
There is not a deed as great as the prayer. And no one is excused from it under any circumstances. Even men in battles are commanded to pray in whatever way they can.
But the only time a servant of Allah is entirely excused from praying and from even making up the missed prayers is when as a woman you suffer from all the difficulties that come with menstruation.
I love how my friend worded the wisdom behind it.
“Allah has mercy on you because He knows no one around you will”
Your boss doesn’t care if you come late to work because you were suffering from cramps in the morning. Your children don’t demand any less on those days of weakness and tiredness. Your husband doesn’t have any more patience with your mood swings when sadness or anger overwhelms you for no reason. When you step out, nobody knows how much your body either aches or how much your mind is distracted by incessant thoughts. You are on your own.
So, Allah the Most Merciful, Ar-Raheem, Ar Rahman, removes His obligation on you because no one else will.
We could’ve been commanded to make them up – if the reason was purely Taharah (purity) but we weren’t. He gives us a break when no one will.
The other time a woman is excused is when she has given birth. Her body, her mind labours to bring another life into the world and becomes occupied with taking care of it – and again Allah excuses her.
This is what makes me fall in love with Allah and Islam even more. For only Allah could know the intricate details of our struggle and give us what we need the most – mercy. – From Buruj Lan-Dan’s Facebook Page
It’s common for us to jokingly refer to our periods as holidays because we’re absolved from the responsibility of praying. After a few days however the effect quickly wanes and we find ourselves craving the doses of serenity that we get through prayer. One of the focal benefits of Salah is that it forces us to remember Allah SWT hence being away from it can sometimes make us feel like we’re no longer in that state.
Whenever I’m on my period, I’m reminded of the ayah below:
“We will show them Our Signs in the universe, and in their own selves until it becomes manifest to them that this (the Quran) is the truth” [Fussilat 41:53]
On the earth are Signs for those of assured Faith; as also in your own selves: will yet not then see?” [Al-Dhariyat 51:20 – 21]
In fact, my periods are a time when I am heavily conscious of Allah. Marvelling at the creation of my body and how perfectly it functions. Especially on months when I go through heavy periods, and I’m continually amazed at the way my body self-regulates. (No kidding, some days I feel like I’m gonna bleed out!) There are different ways in our lives that Allah reminds us that is Al-Khaliq, The Creator, and for me, my menstrual cycles are a special reminder of the one who has created me and created me in the best of forms.
I mean think about it, having regular menstrual cycles is a sign that the body is functioning normally, so remember to thank Allah for your health and the numerous blessings that he has given you through your body.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
- Criticism – Nobody can accept it, I guess the truth hurts. We are living in absolute arrogant times where you cannot say anything to anyone. Nobody wants to know whether they are right or wrong, whether they offended someone or said something harsh or abusive. People just don’t want to know. I do feel it is worse in the West, we are more arrogant and narcissistic. From an Islamic point of view, the Prophet Muhammad PBUH said, “Arrogance is to deny the truth and think low of people.” (Saheeh Muslim) So if you are wrong and cannot accept it, you clearly have ego issues! Anybody can be criticised, whether they are a scholar or not. An Islamic organisation, madrasah, school or charity. Just because we donate to them for the sake of Allah, doesn’t stop us from criticising them when they do actions contrary to Islam. Good intentions don’t always count when you lack knowledge.
- Parents – Some think they know everything, especially when it comes to their kids. They don’t! And loving your child does NOT mean you give them everything they want. How can a five-year-old know what is good for him/her? Just like kids don’t like injections, but we still give it to them? As we know what is good for them (and what is not). If you spoil your children, it won’t even be the age of sixteen (probably before that) you will start to regret it. “Beware. every one of you is a shepherd and every one is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects (as to how he conducted their affairs). A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shal be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them (as to how she managed the household and brought up the children). A slave is a guardian over the property of his master and shall be questioned about it (as to how he safeguarded his trust). Beware, every one of you is a guardian and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trust.” (Saheeh Muslim)
- Passive people – There is no doubt we live in an apathetic society. We see crime, oppression and injustice but we just turn a blind eye. I am not talking about Palestine and Syria, I am talking about the dhulm in your own backyard. Men are to blame first and foremost, because men are no longer men. We have a lot of “males” in society, very few (real) men. Then I blame religious folk, who say “Pray Salah, read Qur’an and do Dhikr… everything will be okay?!” On the day of Badr the Prophet ﷺ didn’t just pray Qur’an and do Dhikr! Be active, “evil spreads not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the SILENCE of good people.” We need to speak up, people are not afraid to speak lies, why should we be afraid to speak the truth? Let’s not be selfish and don’t apply the rule: each to their own. That’s not an Islamic rule. “The best of jihad is a just word spoken to an unjust ruler.” (Ibn Majah)
- Da’wah – Not enough people that do it, or do it properly. Then you have the other half who don’t do it at all… this really needs a separate article altogether. Let’s start with “practice what you preach.” Many people don’t even read the hadith/messages they paste on to Whatsapp/Facebook. Secondly, we have people who say if you are not perfect or your family is not perfect you can’t give da’wah. These are definitely words from a Satanic mouth, a true deception of Shaytan. None of us are perfect, so none of us should do da’wah? Exactly what Shaytan wants? Even the uncles of the Prophet ﷺ did not accept Islam, they were Kafir and died as Kafirs. Does this mean the Prophet ﷺ should not have given da’wah to the rest of the world? Think before you speak, people. We now come on to the “fast forwarders” as I call them. They forward anything and everything under the name of Da’wah. When did the Prophet ﷺ say forward fabricated messages? When did the Prophet ﷺ say don’t verify things before forwarding? When did the Prophet ﷺ say if someone asks you for a reference, be defensive and arrogant because your ego cannot accept you are wrong? You get my drift, no further comments. “Do not tell a lie against me for whoever tells a lie against me (intentionally) then he will surely enter the Hell-fire.” (Bukhari)
- Fake people – Crocodiles tears, fake smiles, empty messages, people meet you with two faces, nothing from the heart. Why? The Ummah has become all about numbers. Number of followers on social media, we attend lots of talks but not a single change in our life. Madrasahs and schools have become all about numbers, as long as the seats gets full and fees are paid (and we are in surpluses), we are happy. And people perform excessive Hajj and Umrah, but no substance, no spirituality, not an iota of change. We really need a reality check. We have hundreds in the Masjid, we give thousands in Zakah, we are millions in Hajj, but our hearts are not clean. We really are fake and pseudo Muslims. “He who is two-faced in this world will have two tongues of fire on the Day of Resurrection.” (Abu Dawud)
- Social Media – Some of you are on absoTOTALutely everything!!! Facebook and Instagram and Snapchat and Twitter and WhatsApp and Telegram, like seriously? That is sad. Definitely for people with no life. I honestly just about manage with WhatsApp messages (I hardly even check people’s statuses). Committing yourself to all of these is like a full-time job, not even a part time job. Then you end up upsetting people and offending people, let alone all the debates and arguments you have. Press pause. Stop. Take a breath. And seriously quit the ones you don’t need, the ones that are eating you up and eating your time up. Maybe the last sentence should say, “stick with one.” In previous times, people kept diaries, if someone read your diary you would be upset and offended. Nowadays, we have social media, if someone doesn’t like your post or retweet your comment you get offended! Strange times! A lot of us do sit on our phones all day, even at work. But some people don’t. Don’t call me judgemental, with WhatsApp you can see everything. Those who are always on their phones and those who check social media first thing in the morning. Is it really that important to you? And don’t say “emergency”. Emergencies don’t occur every day. Time is valuable, it is priceless. Imam Ibn ul Qayyim (rahimahullah) stated: ”Time wasting is more serious than death because time wasting cuts you off from Allah and the home of the afterlife, whereas death cuts you off from the worldly life and its people.’’ [Source: Al-Fawaaid…page 59]
- Don’t judge me – Shaytan’s latest plot in spreading evil and preventing good. We have an obligation to enjoin good and forbid evil. If you SEE someone doing bad, stop them. How is that judgemental? Judgemental is when you don’t have evidence. You don’t need to be afraid if you are polite and pleasant in your words. The bigger problem is we don’t have enough people speaking up and stopping evil, so the few that do it, it becomes harder. We have too many ‘yes men’, who bow down to the needs of the people. As Muslims we only bow to the One on the throne (may He be exalted). Here’s one I made earlier.
- Impatient & Thinking the worst of people. We are living in super fast times. We don’t just eat a lot of fast food, we want everything fast and quick. We want fast replies to our texts and calls, if we call someone and they don’t answer (maybe because they are busy/in salah/driving/in the toilet) we get offended or automatically assume they are ignoring us. Most of us have zero patience. Be a bit more considerate, some people are busier than others. You think I am wrong? Next time your YouTube video is buffering for a few seconds, look how angry and frustrated you get?! It takes a few seconds to wait for it. Half of us would just switch the video off because we don’t have the patience to wait. Read more here. Driving and patience is another one, especially in the Asian community. Asian drivers have the least patience and some have no common sense, but you can’t teach them common sense. So I end here.
Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (one who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)
12 Rabiul Thani 1439
HOW TO START A NEW YEAR: https://mylittlebreathingspace.wordpress.com/2015/02/25/the-new-year/
SOCIAL MEDIA & PATIENCE 😬 ~~~~~~
Engineering Patience … In An Age of Instant Gratification
I remember reading a book, and the kids in there were arguing over who got to sit near the window.
I was confused. Why would they want to sit next to the window?
I was accustomed to wanting to sit in the middle because that was directly in front of the vents blasting cold air from the AC.
This was especially important if the car had been parked outside and had become an oven when you went to sit inside.
My dad used to do something that would drive me crazy.
He would start the car and not turn on the AC. He would let the fan run, and tell us we could roll down the windows (which doesn’t do much when its 95 degrees Fahrenheit).
I would plead with him to turn on the AC on max, and he would just sit there and tell me to relax.
Once, with the creativity only a kid could muster, I told him “Allah blessed us with AC, so turn it on.”
He explained that he was trying to teach us to relax, and to be patient.
This is how parents are. They see the ease with which we enjoy the world, and we lose sight of hardships others went through.
In many places in the world, especially 20 years ago, air conditioning in a car was a major luxury item instead of a standard part of life.
Now when someone complains about a YouTube video buffering too slow (or not fast enough for HD), I feel like yelling at them to try using a 28.8kbps dial-up connection – the kind I had to grow up with.
In fact, a study of the viewing habits of 6.7 million people showed that people abandoned watching a video if it buffered for longer than two seconds. TWO SECONDS !!
Social media has made everything quicker.
What used to be a 24 hour news cycle is now barely 30 minutes.
The half-life of a tweet is less than 3 hours.
With this quickening of pace, our expectations have changed as well.
If someone doesn’t reply to an email within a few hours we get upset.
If they don’t respond to a text message within an hour, we get impatient.
There is a manufactured hurry to each of these interactions.
Patience and gratitude go hand in hand.
Patience, as we famously know from the hadith, is at the moment calamity strikes.
To have patience in that moment requires a gratitude mindset.
It comes down to being cognizant and intentional about each situation – Am I exercising patience?
Am I being grateful to Allah?
One way to reclaim this is to engineer moments of patience in our lives.
Sit at a red light without touching your phone. It’s only 30 seconds, but we are at the point now where the mere thought of that is agonizing for some.
Sit down with your kids and just be bored for a little while. Reflect on what is around you and enjoy the quiet moments.
The fast pace of technology is now the norm.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing. But it does mean that sometimes we just need to sit in the car for a few minutes before turning on the AC – to give ourselves a small reminder and lesson.
FiqhOfSocial.Media – A Faith Based Guide to Navigating the Social Media Lifestyle