Seven things you must avoid in your Waleematu-Nikkah

Written by Sadiq bin Mas’uudwed.jpg

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

الحمد لله والصلاه والسلام على رسول الله أما بعد:
1⃣ *Israaf*
You want people to eat Biryani, kebabs, Chinese rice, Hmmm!! So don’t do israaf (wastage)
وَكُلُوا وَاشْرَبُوا وَلَا تُسْرِفُوا إِنَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ الْمُسْرِفِين
Eat and drink, but waste not by extravagance, certainly, He (Allah) likes not those who waste by extravagance).
(Surah Al-Araf, Verse 31)
2⃣ *Wedding pictures*
Must you show the world you have a beautiful spouse? Or you think keeping the wedding pictures to keep the memory alive is a nice and dandy idea? Picture this hadith in your mind first,
ﺇﻥ ﺃﺷﺪ ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ ﻋﺬﺍﺑﺎ ﻋﻨﺪ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻳﻮﻡ ﺍﻟﻘﻴﺎﻣﺔ ﺍﻟﻤﺼﻮﺭﻭﻥ
The most severely punished people on the Day of Resurrection would be the image-makers. [Bukhari and Muslim]
3⃣ *Music*
Planning on playing and inviting *Ayeloyun* to entertain your guests with Islamic Music? Think twice. Islam has no music.
” ﻟﻴﻜﻮﻧﻦ ﻣﻦ ﺃﻣﺘﻲ ﺃﻗﻮﺍﻡ ﻳﺴﺘﺤﻠﻮﻥ ﺍﻟﺤﺮ ﻭﺍﻟﺤﺮﻳﺮ
ﻭﺍﻟﺨﻤﺮ ﻭﺍﻟﻤﻌﺎﺯﻑ ..
“Among my ummah there will certainly be people who permit zinaa,
silk, alcohol and musical instruments…” (Narrated by al-Bukhari)
4⃣ *Tabarruj*
Looking good on the day of your nikkah is a good idea, but if you must make up, then use niqab
وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ وَلَا تَبَرَّجْنَ تَبَرُّجَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ الْأُولَى
“And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the time of ignorance.” (Surah Al-Ahzab, Verse 33)
5⃣ *Inviting only the rich*
This will make your nikkah food to be the worst ever, because the needy people (poor) are prevented from it
ﺷَﺮُّ ﺍﻟﻄَّﻌَﺎﻡِ ﻃَﻌَﺎﻡُ ﺍﻟْﻮَﻟِﻴﻤَﺔِ ﻳُﻤْﻨَﻌُﻬَﺎ
ﻣَﻦْ
ﻳَﺄْﺗِﻴﻬَﺎ ﻭَﻳُﺪْﻋَﻰ ﺇِﻟَﻴْﻬَﺎ ﻣَﻦْ ﻳَﺄْﺑَﺎﻫَﺎ
 “The worst food is the food of a wedding banquet in which the rich are invited, but the poor are left out.” Source: Sahih Muslim
6⃣ *Ar-riyaa*
My nikkah must be the talk of the town, it must have no similitude!!! That’s riyaa (show-off), why not do it to please the lord of the world?
ﻳﻘﻮﻝ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﺰ ﻭﺟﻞ ﻷﺻﺤﺎﺏ ﺫﻟﻚ ﻳﻮﻡ ﺍﻟﻘﻴﺎﻣﺔ ﺇﺫﺍ ﺟﺎﺯﻯ
ﺍﻟﻨﺎﺱ: ﺍﺫﻫﺒﻮﺍ ﺇﻟﻰﺍﻟﺬﻳﻦ ﻛﻨﺘﻢ ﺗﺮﺍﺀﻭﻥ ﻓﻲ ﺍﻟﺪﻧﻴﺎ ، ﻓﺎﻧﻈﺮﻭﺍ ﻫﻞ ﺗﺠﺪﻭﻥ ﻋﻨﺪﻫﻢ ﺟﺰﺍﺀ ؟
Allah the Exalted will say to them (who show off), on the Day of Resurrection when the people are being rewarded for their deeds: Go to those whom you wished to show off in the world and look for your reward with them.” (Musnad Ahmad Hadith 23119)
7⃣ *Imitating the kuffar*
Using a wedding gown, engagement ring, free mixing with the opposite sex, kissing in public, are all imitations of the kuffar and the Prophet SAW says,
َ ﻣَﻦْ ﺗَﺸَﺒَّﻪَ ﺑِﻘَﻮْﻡٍ ﻓَﻬُﻮَ ﻣِﻨْﻬُﻢ
“ْWhoever imitates a people is one of them.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, Hasan Sahih)
أقول قولي هذا أستغفر الله لي ولكم
weddBarakAllahu feeh
We hope your waleematu-nikaah will be free of all those things.
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Integrate, NOT Assimilate!

This was narrated by Qari Ismail Samni (Allah fill his grave with noor), Bolton.brit

“Shaykh AbulHassan Nadwi (Allah have mercy upon him) visited the UK and a programme was held for Ulama. At the start of the talk, Shaykh mentioned a dream in which he saw the blessed and glorious vision of the Final Messenger, the Seal of the Prophets ﷺ. In the dream, the Prophet ﷺ mentioned that he had his eyes on the Muslims of England (mere nazar England walo par hein).

 

On hearing this, the Ulama present were delighted and overjoyed. After which Shaykh stated, ‘There is no need to be so happy! Let me explain… if a mother has two children, one is playing in the garden and the second is playing near the fire. Which child does the mother have her eye on? Obviously, the one near the fire. Similarly, the interpretation of the dream is the Prophet ﷺ has his eyes fixated on the people of England because your Imaan is at risk. You may ask how? The Muslims of Makkah and Madinah will not sell their Imaan, because they are surrounded by Muslims and they are living in a Muslim country. At the most, they will commit sins. Same for the people of Pakistan, they will not sell their Imaan. As for the Muslims for India, they live in a Hindu country but totally oppose the actions of the Hindus. They dress differently, worship differently and keep Masjids and Hindu Temples separate.

What I have seen in the UK, especially in the young generation, step by step and inch by inch they follow the non-Muslims in every way; in their dress; in their food; their hairstyles; and their whole lifestyle. You are surrounded by non-Muslims, it is very easy to sell your Imaan living in the West.'”

Mawlana then continued his bayan.

 

It is December, the time of the year we see festive decorations and lights all around the country. Christmas is coming soon… Living in a non-Muslim country, how should we participate in this Christian festival? Are we allowed to attend Christmas parties? Should we let our children partake in Santa’s Grotto? When they attend school they want to play a part in the nativity play, is this Halal? Further, on Christmas day should we exchange gifts with our families and our Christian neighbours? Can we prepare a turkey dinner on Christmas day and enjoy it with the family? I won’t answer all these questions, but it is food for thought, further to the dream I mentioned in the start.

 

I will, however, like to touch on an issue increasing in the UK, having a turkey dinner on Christmas day. It is forbidden for a Muslim to prepare a turkey dinner on Christmas because this is an imitation of non-Muslims. It is confirmed in an authentic narration that “whoever imitates a people is one of them.”

 

Saying that the family gathers on this day and this is not with the purpose of imitating the non-Muslims but due to the fact that this day is a (bank) holiday, then this does not make it permissible for you to do this, because, in essence, you are imitating them. Gathering on this day could be on any other kind of food, why then have specifically a turkey dinner? Is this not imitating them even in the kind of food they eat?

The prohibition of resembling the non-Muslims is not restricted to inward actions [beliefs, actions of the heart] and intentions, but also to outward actions. It is for this reason that the Prophet ﷺ prohibited us from performing the prayer at sunset and sunrise, and he ﷺ said that it rises between two horns of the devil and the polytheist prostate to it at this time, despite the fact that a Muslim prays to Allah and not to the horns of the devil. However, the Prophet ﷺ forbade us from performing the prayer at that time regardless of our intention.

The Prophet ﷺ also used to differ from the people of the book even in the way they combed their hair.

Indeed, there are many narrations of the Prophet ﷺ about differing from the people of the Book in regard to both words and actions.

Therefore, we advise you to fear Allah and not imitate the polytheists and act in conformity with them in their festivals and traditions which are peculiar to them.

One should explain to the family, that it is permissible for the family to gather on that day because it is a holiday but without making this day as a festival and imitating the non-Muslims in their eating traditions and the like. It should be a family gathering like all other gatherings throughout the year [without any special food, settings or decorations].

Ismail Ibn Nazir Satia (One who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)

29 Rabiul Awwal 1440