2017: Problems with the world

2018

  1. Criticism – Nobody can accept it, I guess the truth hurts. We are living in absolute arrogant times where you cannot say anything to anyone. Nobody wants to know whether they are right or wrong, whether they offended someone or said something harsh or abusive. People just don’t want to know. I do feel it is worse in the West, we are more arrogant and narcissistic. From an Islamic point of view, the Prophet Muhammad PBUH said, “Arrogance is to deny the truth and think low of people.” (Saheeh Muslim) So if you are wrong and cannot accept it, you clearly have ego issues! Anybody can be criticised, whether they are a scholar or not. An Islamic organisation, madrasah, school or charity. Just because we donate to them for the sake of Allah, doesn’t stop us from criticising them when they do actions contrary to Islam. Good intentions don’t always count when you lack knowledge.
  2. Parents – Some think they know everything, especially when it comes to their kids. They don’t! And loving your child does NOT mean you give them everything they want. How can a five-year-old know what is good for him/her? Just like kids don’t like injections, but we still give it to them? As we know what is good for them (and what is not). If you spoil your children, it won’t even be the age of sixteen (probably before that) you will start to regret it. “Beware. every one of you is a shepherd and every one is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects (as to how he conducted their affairs). A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shal be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them (as to how she managed the household and brought up the children). A slave is a guardian over the property of his master and shall be questioned about it (as to how he safeguarded his trust). Beware, every one of you is a guardian and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trust.” (Saheeh Muslim)
  3. Passive people – There is no doubt we live in an apathetic society. We see crime, oppression and injustice but we just turn a blind eye. I am not talking about Palestine and Syria, I am talking about the dhulm in your own backyard. Men are to blame first and foremost, because men are no longer men. We have a lot of “males” in society, very few (real) men. Then I blame religious folk, who say “Pray Salah, read Qur’an and do Dhikr… everything will be okay?!” On the day of Badr the Prophet ﷺ didn’t just pray Qur’an and do Dhikr! Be active, “evil spreads not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the SILENCE of good people.” We need to speak up, people are not afraid to speak lies, why should we be afraid to speak the truth? Let’s not be selfish and don’t apply the rule: each to their own. That’s not an Islamic rule. “The best of jihad is a just word spoken to an unjust ruler.” (Ibn Majah)
  4. Da’wah – Not enough people that do it, or do it properly. Then you have the other half who don’t do it at all… this really needs a separate article altogether. Let’s start with “practice what you preach.” Many people don’t even read the hadith/messages they paste on to Whatsapp/Facebook. Secondly, we have people who say if you are not perfect or your family is not perfect you can’t give da’wah. These are definitely words from a Satanic mouth, a true deception of Shaytan. None of us are perfect, so none of us should do da’wah? Exactly what Shaytan wants? Even the uncles of the Prophet ﷺ did not accept Islam, they were Kafir and died as Kafirs. Does this mean the Prophet ﷺ should not have given da’wah to the rest of the world? Think before you speak, people. We now come on to the “fast forwarders” as I call them. They forward anything and everything under the name of Da’wah. When did the Prophet ﷺ say forward fabricated messages? When did the Prophet ﷺ say don’t verify things before forwarding? When did the Prophet ﷺ say if someone asks you for a reference, be defensive and arrogant because your ego cannot accept you are wrong? You get my drift, no further comments. “Do not tell a lie against me for whoever tells a lie against me (intentionally) then he will surely enter the Hell-fire.” (Bukhari)
  5. Fake people – Crocodiles tears, fake smiles, empty messages, people meet you with two faces, nothing from the heart. Why? The Ummah has become all about numbers. Number of followers on social media, we attend lots of talks but not a single change in our life. Madrasahs and schools have become all about numbers, as long as the seats gets full and fees are paid (and we are in surpluses), we are happy. And people perform excessive Hajj and Umrah, but no substance, no spirituality, not an iota of change. We really need a reality check. We have hundreds in the Masjid, we give thousands in Zakah, we are millions in Hajj, but our hearts are not clean. We really are fake and pseudo Muslims. “He who is two-faced in this world will have two tongues of fire on the Day of Resurrection.” (Abu Dawud)
  6. Social Media – Some of you are on absoTOTALutely everything!!! Facebook and Instagram and Snapchat and Twitter and WhatsApp and Telegram, like seriously? That is sad. Definitely for people with no life. I honestly just about manage with WhatsApp messages (I hardly even check people’s statuses). Committing yourself to all of these is like a full-time job, not even a part time job. Then you end up upsetting people and offending people, let alone all the debates and arguments you have. Press pause. Stop. Take a breath. And seriously quit the ones you don’t need, the ones that are eating you up and eating your time up. Maybe the last sentence should say, “stick with one.” In previous times, people kept diaries, if someone read your diary you would be upset and offended. Nowadays, we have social media, if someone doesn’t like your post or retweet your comment you get offended! Strange times! A lot of us do sit on our phones all day, even at work. But some people don’t. Don’t call me judgemental, with WhatsApp you can see everything. Those who are always on their phones and those who check social media first thing in the morning. Is it really that important to you? And don’t say “emergency”. Emergencies don’t occur every day. Time is valuable, it is priceless. Imam Ibn ul Qayyim (rahimahullah) stated: ”Time wasting is more serious than death because time wasting cuts you off from Allah and the home of the afterlife, whereas death cuts you off from the worldly life and its people.’’ [Source: Al-Fawaaid…page 59]
  7. Don’t judge me – Shaytan’s latest plot in spreading evil and preventing good. We have an obligation to enjoin good and forbid evil. If you SEE someone doing bad, stop them. How is that judgemental? Judgemental is when you don’t have evidence. You don’t need to be afraid if you are polite and pleasant in your words. The bigger problem is we don’t have enough people speaking up and stopping evil, so the few that do it, it becomes harder. We have too many ‘yes men’, who bow down to the needs of the people. As Muslims we only bow to the One on the throne (may He be exalted). Here’s one I made earlier.
  8. Impatient & Thinking the worst of people. We are living in super fast times. We don’t just eat a lot of fast food, we want everything fast and quick. We want fast replies to our texts and calls, if we call someone and they don’t answer (maybe because they are busy/in salah/driving/in the toilet) we get offended or automatically assume they are ignoring us. Most of us have zero patience. Be a bit more considerate, some people are busier than others. You think I am wrong? Next time your YouTube video is buffering for a few seconds, look how angry and frustrated you get?! It takes a few seconds to wait for it. Half of us would just switch the video off because we don’t have the patience to wait. Read more here. Driving and patience is another one, especially in the Asian community. Asian drivers have the least patience and some have no common sense, but you can’t teach them common sense. So I end here.

Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (one who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)

12 Rabiul Thani 1439

HOW TO START A NEW YEAR: https://mylittlebreathingspace.wordpress.com/2015/02/25/the-new-year/

 

 

The Advice of Umar Ibn Abdul Aziz RH for Parents

images (3)The current situation with upbringing our children is truly alarming. If nothing is done soon, one cannot imagine how it will end up. There’s nothing more sad than “loosing” your child.

Tips by Khalifah ‘Umar ibn’Abdil ‘Azeez RH

I feel that Khalifah ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdil ‘Azeez’s (rahimahullah) advice below is very apt and pertinent.

وكتب عمر بن عبد العزيز إلى مؤدب ولده :

” خذهم بالجفاء فهو أمنع لاقدامهم ، وترك الصبحة فان عادتها تكسب الغفلة، وقلة الضحك فان كثرته تميت القلب ، وليكن أول ما يعتقدون من أدبك بغض الملاهي التي بدؤها من الشيطان ، وعاقبتها سخط الرحمن ، فانه بلغني عن الثقات من حملة العلم أن حضور المعازف واستماع الأغاني واللهج بهما ينبت النفاق في القلب كما ينبت العشب بالماء . وليفتتح كل غلام منهم بجزء من القرآن يثبت في قراءته ، فاذا فرغ منه تناول نبله وقوسه  وخرج إلى الغرض حافيا ، فرمى سبعة أرشاق ، ثم انصرف إلى القائلة ، فان ابن مسعود كان يقول : ” يا بني قيلوا ، فان الشياطين لا تقيل”

( ذكره ابن أبي الدنيا في : ” ذم الملاهي” ص: 9 )

Khalifah ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdul ‘Aziz (rahimahullah) wrote the following instructions to his children’s mentor

“ Be strict on them for this is more effective in restraining them. Stop them from sleeping after Fajr Salaah, for this causes stupidity / negligence. They should laugh less for a lot of laughing kills the heart / soul. Let the first thing you inculcate in them be the hatred for Music, for I have heard from various People of Knowledge (‘Ulamaa) that Music develops hypocrisy in the heart just as water grows grass.

Each of them should commence the day with the recitation of the Holy Quran in the proper manner. When they complete that, they should take their bows and arrows and proceed barefooted to the range. Each of them should shoot 7 times. Thereafter they should take mid-day sleep  (siesta). For Sayyiduna ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood (Radiyallahu’anhu) use to say: Oh my children! Take siesta, for verily the devils do not do so.”

(Kitaabu Dhammil Malahi of Hafiz Ibn abi Dunya pg. 9)

Morals

These words of Khalifah ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdil ‘Azeez (rahimahullah) give us the following lessons on upbringing of children:

To commence the day with the recitation of the Quran
Not to sleep after Fajr (until after sunrise at least)
To abstain from music
To laugh less
Engagement in physical activity, like archery
The importance of siesta (qailoolah)
Each of the above are valuable lessons of life, which we as adults can implement and also inculcate in our children.

Quran Recital every morning

Many of us commence our day by reading the news, -which is more depressing than informative- or by catching up on our timeline, or sifting through emails etc.

The recitation of Qur’an, first thing in the morning will bring barakah (blessing) in our affairs throughout the day. Our children should see us reciting the Qur’an after Fajr. This will subconsciously lead them on to the same.

Music; they are never too young to abstain

We often justify out leniency towards out kids’ indulgence in Haram or Makrooh (repulsive) deeds by saying: “They are too young”.

The fact that ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdil ‘Azeez RH detested music even for his under aged children, demonstrates to us how we should view the training of our own.

Don’t allow the seeds of hypocrisy to grow even at that tender age. The computer games that they play should be free of foul language, evil habits and the music should be turned off. Never underestimate the effect that these supposed “games” could have on an innocent mind. It’s sad, how lightly we take the issue of Music that we repeatedly need to be cautioned of our ringtones.

Who is there that can say he has never heard a musical ringtone go off while in Salah in the Masjid?!

Who would have believed it if we were told a decade ago, that a time will come when a muslim will play music -or at least allow it to be played- while in sajdah, the closest posture we could get to Allah Ta’ala?!

Entertainment

Today we all look for how to be best entertained rather than spend our time usefully.

Laughter and jokes have become so common, that at times one will notice people joking even at a janazah!

The rare opportunity we get to ponder about death doesn’t pass with an unnecessary joke or fable being shared.

Even in religious lectures, the crowds are inflated if the speaker can entertain better…

As mentioned earlier, these were ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdil ‘Azeez’s (Rahimahullah) guidelines for the upbringing of children. Alas many of us adults need this lesson too.

Natural physical activity

‘Khalifah ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdil ‘Azeez (Rahimahullah) specifically ordered the mentor to take them outdoors for archery daily. The pagan Arabs also preferred to send their kids to the villages where they could spend their time outdoors, herding goats and learning basic life skills. In fact, until a few decades ago, we too would spend our days outdoors in various activities.

Today’s child may be engaging in very similar activities too, but instead of it being outdoors they do it on a screen! It’s no more physical, it’s actually electronic!

Physical activity has its own benefit in early childhood development that can never be replaced with any electronic device. Parents need to carefully think of ways to keep their children occupied in a manner that won’t just keep them from bothering their parents, but ways that will enhance the child’s mind, body and Iman as well.

May Allah guide us all, and may He inspire us with the correct tact in upbringing our innocent offspring. Ameen .

19 Jamadul Awaal 1437

Effects of TV Violence on Children

By Fatima Hachem El Hamoui, March 4, 2015

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Purpose

The purpose of this post is to attract the parents’ attention to the effects of TV violence on children and to spread knowledge among them in order to help lessen the problems that children might have as a consequence of seeing such violence.

Introduction

It’s obvious that parents are always concerned with the well-being of their children and try their best to provide them with the utmost suitable environment for their growth and development. That’s what parents are responsible for in front of Allah (swt), because they’ll be asked about their upbringing, nurturing, and education. Nonetheless, parents frequently lose control over their children’s safe atmosphere, specially in the presence of all this technology nowadays.

Threats are Everywhere

With all the threats that surround us today, children are the most vulnerable. That’s due to the fact that they still don’t have the mental abilities to analyze the data and input that their brain receives whenever they encounter new things. For this reason, parents are there to help them figure stuff out and guide them to what’s right. However, if parent’s aren’t careful enough, they might be causing their children to unsafely get exposed to inevitable threats they are better off without.

Children have Sensitive Personalities

Like we’re saying, children are known for their unstable personality; they are affected by everything that happens around them. And in the light of all that’s happening around the world, almost everyone is trying to keep up to date with the world’s news, that includes parents who have children. One of the things these parents are not aware of when they are watching news programs, is that their children are likely to be around watching as well. On the other hand, some parents are also interested in watching action and horror movies, and their inattention may end up letting the children watch these kinds of movies with or without them. These programs, whether the news or inappropriate movies, might show content that children are not supposed to see but, if they do, will affect them either by arousing their curiosity to imitate anything they observe, or by making them frightened by what they see.

Imitation

Imitation is one of the characteristics of childhood. Children tend to imitate everyone and everything new they see, even if it is wrong. That is why we see girls imitating their mothers by pretending to cook or by wearing their high heels, and boys imitating their fathers as well. So, when children sit next to their parents while they are watching TV, their attention will obviously be grabbed by certain scenes that show violence, and knowing that children have to examine everything before they become familiar with it, they might decide to try the violence scene without realizing what the consequences could be. For example, when the news programs present certain crimes or murders that happened, the child might copy what he sees, he might hurt himself or anyone else. Therefore, most of the time, such imitations lead to drastic results, because the child is unable to differentiate between what’s right or wrong, what is harmful or not, and what is good or evil.

Frightening Content

Moreover, children might get very scared and terrified when they see this violence. For instance, when a child watches how wars are happening and how planes and cannons are destroying many homes and  killing many people, he will be horrified by what he sees, and eventually these things will be printed in his mind and will be part of his personality later on. In addition, many children cannot sleep and have nightmares when they observe violence and scary stuff. Hence, they will give their parents a hard time at night. Also, children have a wide imagination that will make them, apparently, see things in the dark because of the stored violent images, like imagining that someone is coming to kill them or that a thief is robbing the house. As a result the child might turn out to be a coward, have a weak personality, and maybe have some mental problems.

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Childhood is Delicate, Be Alert

We should admit that childhood is a very delicate stage of life, that is why a child’s life should be full of happy, fun and enjoyable things, and clear of everything that is violent and scary. So, to every parent who cares about his children’s life and personality: keep your kids away from news programs and unsuitable movies, and make sure that they enjoy every part of this stage because it is the foundation of everyone’s life.

Don’t Forget About Adolescence

Just as childhood is very important, adolescence is likewise critical and care-demanding. That’s why you shouldn’t leave adolescents grow in cyberspace, as it poses similar threats on them like any other technology these days. You should also encourage them to improve their academic achievements by acquiring the good habit of taking notes. This could boost their academic performances for sure and they would be actively learning instead of just passively depending on the internet to get their homework done. It’s also very effective to try to help them stay motivated even when they don’t feel like it because it will have a positive impact on their everyday attitude.

Your Responsibility as a Parent

As parents, you have a great deal of responsibilities toward your children. You owe it to your children to keep them protected and comfortable. Allah (swt) says in Surah At-Tahrim, Verse 6:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ

O, Believers Save yourselves and your dependents from the fire whose fuel are humans and the stones.

So, when a child of yours starts to adopt a certain way of life, it’ll either be a virtuous alteration that will change him into a good human being or a wicked alteration that will change him into a degraded individual. And whatever he turns into is fairly reliant on the upbringing he receives from you. The obligation you have in raising your children is highly essential. That’s why the greatest favor you could do for your children is show them how to be good, well-mannered, faithful, friendly, righteous, generous, just, wise, hard-working muslims, and demonstrate to them that their reference in life is the Qur’an and Sunnah because it’ll teach them everything they need to know in order to live a peaceful and honorable life.

Thank you for passing by my blog! I hope you enjoyed reading this post. If you liked it, don’t forget to give it a share! If you have any comments on it, please leave them below. I’d love to know what you think! XO

About the Author: Fatima Hachem El Hamoui  

She’s a Lebanese/Canadian, coffee-loving, web-developing/designing, blogging Muslimah. She’s the owner of the Diaries of The Positive Muslimah which is all about inspiration, motivation, and a positive attitude. You can contact her at ThePositiveMuslimah@gmail.com. She’d love to hear from you any time! You could also get in touch with her on social media: Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.