Congratulations to you and your family on your bun in the oven. Allah bless you with a healthy and happy baby who lives and strives off faith and Islam, I hope Allah grants you the coolness of your eyes.
Motherhood! A very exciting experience and something I believe most women desire and dream for, as they are born nurturers. Amidst all the excitement, shopping, and getting your homes ready for this new addition to the family, sometimes you can forget the spiritual connection with that Exalted Being who has blessed us with this amazing journey.
No one said pregnancy and labour would be or is easy. But if you want that cute bundle of joy in your hands, then you have to push through (no pun intended!) these nine months and labour and show yourself that “you’ve got the power!”
Please remember to thank Allah for blessing you with this opportunity that many desire and don’t have. Don’t take even a split second for granted. Make it a habit of reciting:
اَللّٰهُمَّ لَكَ الْـحَمْدُ وَ لَكَ الشُّكْرُ
“O Allah, all praise and gratitude is for you”
Let me get to the point, here are some dua’ and some adhkar to help you through.
Students of Habib ‘Umar bin Hafidh (hafidhahulah), of Yemen collected this list of recommendations some years ago, for those amongst us who are pregnant or struggling with infertility.
- Surah Inshiqaq (Surah 84) – to be recited daily throughout the pregnancy
- Surah Luqman (Surah 31) – to be recited daily during the 1st trimester when the baby’s brain, mental faculties and nervous system are developing, this Surah helps the baby’s brain develop.
- Surah Yusuf (Surah 12) – to be recited in the 2nd trimester when the child’s physical appearance is forming, for beautiful physical appearance.
- Surah Maryam (Surah 19) – to be recited in the 3rd trimester as labour approaches
- “Ya Lateef” – to be recited 129 times every morning and evening
7th month only
- The husband should recite Surah Inshirah (Surah 94) 152 times on the baby
- The first ayat of Surah al-Fath’ (Surah 48)
- “Ya Lateef”
- Surah Maryam (Surah 19) for ease in labour (you can also play on YouTube)
- Surah Inshirah (Surah 94)
- “As salaam Alaikum ayuha-nabee wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu”
- Shaykh Muhammad Ba Shu’ayb once advised, for the sake of any children we are to have to recite all our adhkar and awrad everyday and to ensure that we pray as many prayers in congregation with our spouse.
- Read as much Qur’an as possible.
- Try and do as much salawat on the Prophet (saw) as possible – in particular Salat al-Tunjina’ and “As salaam Alaikum ayuha-nabee wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu”
- As babies are said to be able to recognise certain sounds and music from their time in the womb, reading certain texts such as the “Book of Assistance” by Imam al-Haddad, is advised in order to bring about recognition.
- One of the Habaib also advised pregnant women to look at pictures of the Ka’aba when she was too tired to actively engage in ibadah.
For those trying to conceive children
- Recite Surah Fatiha (Surah 1) 41 times in between the sunnah and fardh of Fajr prayer.
- Recite verse 38 of Surah Imran (Surah 3) as many times a day as possible.
In addition to that, ask Allah to bless you with pious children like our beloved Prophet Zakariya (AS) did:
رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِنْ لَدُنْكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ الدُّعَاءِ
“O Allah bestow onto me from You, pure children. Verily you are the listener of du’aas”
Other Ulama suggest in your last month recite the first five ayahs of Surah Al-Inshiqaaq abundantly, as this will help with an easier delivery and labour. Or increase the recitation of Surah al-Inshiqaaq if you were already reciting from the start of the pregnancy.
Abstain from listening to music and replace that with recitation or Quran or adhkar, as it has scientifically been proven that the child is able to recognize certain sounds in the womb. Let’s bless our unborn child with the words of Allah (S.W.T). Then follow that habit through postnatal and you will be surprised as to how much comfort your child will get from listening to the words of Allah (S.W.T) from as early as birth. I’ve seen it with my very own eyes.
Please stay away from sin, talking ill of people and slander. Try to stay pure at heart and tongue and you will see your children grow to reap the benefits.
Print and keep the list of dua’ for pious children (below) and make a habit of reciting them often. One way to do this is to tape it to the wall next to your dresser mirror and recite the dua (or just a couple of them if your kids or husband are impatiently waiting for you to get ready!) as you get ready in the morning.
Lastly, advice from Mufti Ikramul Haq Saheb (hafidhahullah) of Blackburn: “Through experience, we have seen placing the book ‘Muwatta Imam Malik’ under the pillow at the time of labour, eases labour pain.”
Allah grant you all ease and peace throughout the pregnancy, a smooth labour, as well as granting you pious children, righteous and the coolness of your eyes. Ameen.
Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (One who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)
Rabiul Awwal 1440
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
There is no doubt marriage is becoming harder for some people. And when you go to see a potential partner you may struggle to ask the right questions. Here is a list someone sent me:
(Pick and choose the right questions, obviously you are not going to ask all the questions)
1. What is your concept of marriage?
2. Have you been married before?
3. Are you married now?
4. What are your expectations of marriage?
5. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
6. What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
7. Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.
8. Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
9. What is the role of religion in your life now?
10. Are you a spiritual person?
11. What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
12. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
13. What is your relationship between you and the Muslim community in your area?
14. Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
15. What can you offer your spouse spiritually?
16. What is the role of the husband?
17. What is the role of the wife?
18. Do you want to practice polygamy?
19. What is your relationship with your family?
20. What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?
21. What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
22. Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
23. Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
24. If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?
25. Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
26. How did you get to know them?
27. Why are they your friends?
28. What do you like most about them?
29. What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
30. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
31. What is the level of your relationship with them now?
32. What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
33. What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?
34. What are the things that you do in your free time?
35. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
36. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
37. What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)
38. Do you travel?
39. How do you spend your vacations?
40. How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
41. Do you read?
42. What do you read?
43. After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
44. After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
45. How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
46. How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favour for you?
47. Do you like to write your feelings?
48. If you wronged someone, how do you apologize?
49. If someone has wronged you, how do you want she/he to apologize to you?
50. How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
51. How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
52. Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
53. Do your friends use foul language?
54. Does your family use foul language?
55. How do you express anger?
56. How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
57. What do you do when you are angry?
58. When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
59. When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the
conflict get resolved?
60. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
61. What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
62. Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
63. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
64. Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
65. What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
66. How do you support your own health and nutrition?
67. What is you definition of wealth?
68. How do you spend money?
69. How do you save money?
70. How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
71. Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
72. Do you use credit cards?
73. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
74. What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
75. What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
76. Do you support the idea of a working wife?
77. If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
78. Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
79. Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
80. Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
81. Do you want to have children? If not, why?
82. To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
83. Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
84. Do you believe in abortion?
85. Do you have children now?
86. What is your relationship with your children now?
87. What is your relationship with their other parent?
88. What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?
89. What is the best method(s) of raising children?
90. What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
91. How were you raised?
92. How were you disciplined?
93. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
94. Do you believe in public school for your children?
95. Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
96. Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
97. What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?
98. Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
99. What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?
100. If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?
I will also add the istikhara dua, to pray after two rak’at nafl salah:
Where the words “Hathal amr” appear twice (underlined) think of the matter you are asking for.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Smiling is a great way to make yourself stand out while helping your body to function better. Smile to improve your health, your stress level, and your attractiveness. Smiling is just one fun way to live longer read about the others and try as many as you can.
- Smiling Makes Us Attractive
We are drawn to people who smile. There is an attraction factor. We want to know a smiling person and figure out what is so good. Frowns, scowls and grimaces all push people away — but a smile draws them in (avoid these smile aging habits to keep your smile looking great).
- Smiling Changes Our Mood
Next time you are feeling down, try putting on a smile. There’s a good chance your mood will change for the better. Smiling can trick the body into helping you change your mood.
- Smiling Is Contagious
When someone is smiling they lighten up the room, change the moods of others, and make things happier. A smiling person brings happiness with them. Smile lots and you will draw people to you.
- Smiling Relieves Stress
Stress can really show up in our faces. Smiling helps to prevent us from looking tired, worn down, and overwhelmed. When you are stressed, take time to put on a smile. The stress should be reduced and you’ll be better able to take action.
- Smiling Boosts Your Immune System
Smiling helps the immune system to work better. When you smile, immune function improves possibly because you are more relaxed. Prevent the flu and colds by smiling.
- Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure
When you smile, there is a measurable reduction in your blood pressure. Give it a try if you have a blood pressure monitor at home. Sit for a few minutes, take a reading. Then smile for a minute and take another reading while still smiling. Do you notice a difference?
- Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin
Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin. Together these three make us feel good. Smiling is a natural drug.
- Smiling Lifts the Face and Makes You Look Younger
The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making a person appear younger. Don’t go for a face lift, just try smiling your way through the day — you’ll look younger and feel better.
- Smiling Makes You Seem Successful
Smiling people appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and more likely to be approached. Put on a smile at meetings and appointments and people will react to you differently.
- Smiling Helps You Stay Positive
Try this test: Smile. Now try to think of something negative without losing the smile. It’s hard. When we smile our body is sending the rest of us a message that “Life is Good!” Stay away from depression, stress and worry by smiling.
- Smilling is a Sunnah
‘Abdullah ibnul-Harith ibn Hazm, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “I never saw anyone smile more than the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.” [At-Tirmidhi]
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
ANY DUA TO AVOID DISPUTES WITH MY HUSBAND?
Is there good easy Duaa/wazeefa to prevent fights? And ease of mind of my husband as well as to move forward from repeated thoughts?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
You have referred to three issues,
a. Dua to prevent fights
b. Ease of mind
c. Move forward from repeated thoughts
Fights are the consequence of one not expressing restraint and controlling one’s anger. In order, to prevent fights one should learn how to exercise restraint and control one’s anger. Dua alone is not sufficient to control one’s anger. If there is a raging fire, one needs to put off the fire. One cannot sit back and simply make dua without the aid of water or fire extinguisher. In fact, when there is fear of fire, arrangement is made for a water hose or fire extinguisher within one’s reach. Likewise, one needs to equip oneself with the necessary skills to overcome and combat anger. This requires spiritual and internal training by oneself or through a spiritual guide.
A Sahabi requested Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam for advice. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said, لَا تَغْضَبْ . He repeated this advice three times. If one does not exercise restraint and control ones anger, he will be forced to tolerate more than the discomfort of anger later. We advise you to inculcate skills of containing your anger. This would be achieved by a spiritual guide.
Also make dua to Allah for tolerance.
رَبَّنَا أَفْرِغْ عَلَيْنَا صَبْرًا وَثَبِّتْ أَقْدَامَنَا وَانْصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ
Our Lord, pour upon us patience and plant firmly our feet and give us victory over the disbelieving people.” [2:250]
The following marriage recipe of 10 points will be useful.
1. Fear Allah:
It was the noble practice of Nabi (SAW) to conscientise the spouses about the fear for Allah before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses (Nisa v14, Ahzab v69, Aali-Imraan v101) from the Qur’an. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.
2. Never be angry at the same time:
Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to Rasulullah (SAW) and sought some advice.
Rasulullah (SAW) replied, control your anger. The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkat pg.433; HM Saeed)
3. If one has to win an argument, let it be the other:
Nabi (SAW) said: “Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the centre of Jannah. (Ibid pg.412)
4. Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire:
Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said:” and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey”. (Surah Luqman v19)
5. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly:
Rasulullah (SAW) said, ‘A Mu’ min is a mirror for a Mu’min.’ (Abu Dawood vol.2 pg.325; Imdadiyah) Advise with dignity and silently.
6. Never bring up mistakes of the past:
Nabi (SAW) said: “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyamah.” (Mishkaat pg.429; HM Saeed)
7. Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner:
Nabi (SAW) confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu-Darda [RA] for neglecting his wife. “Verily there is a right of your wife over you.” (Nasai Hadith2391)
8. Never sleep with an argument unsettled:
Abu Bakr [RA] resolved his dispute with his wife over-feeding the guests before going to bed. (Bukhari Hadith 602)
9. At least, once everyday, express your gratitude to your partner:
Nabi [sallallahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.’ (Abu Dawud pg.662; Karachi)
10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness:
Nabi [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘All the sons of Aadam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.’ (Tirmidhi Hadith 2499)
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Du’as are accepted on a Wednesday from between Dhuhr to ‘Asr. Is this correct?
This is based on the following Hadith:
Sayyiduna Jabir (radiyallahu’anhu) reports that:
‘Rasulullah (sallallahu ’alayhi wasallam) had made du’a to Allah in Masjidul Fath (in Madinah) on a Monday, a Tuesday and a Wednesday. His du’a was accepted between Dhuhr and ‘Asr on the Wednesday.’ Sayyiduna Jabir (radiyallahu’anhu)says: ‘Whenever I had a need, I waited for that moment on a Wednesday and made du’a. Every time I did so, I noticed my du’a being accepted.’
(Al-Adabul Mufrad of Imam Bukhari, Hadith: 725, Musnad Ahmad, vol.3 pg. 332 and Musnad Bazzar; Kashful Astar, Hadith: 431)
‘Allamah Mundhiri (rahimahullah) has declared the chain of Musnad Ahmad as good (jayyid) (Targhib, Hadith: 1788. Also see Majma’uz Zawaid, vol.4 pg.12)
Moulana ‘Abdul Hayy Laknawi (rahimahullah) has stated that ‘Allamah Suyuti graded the narrators of this Hadith as good (jayyid) in his book: ‘Sihamul Isabah’ and Shaykh Samhudi (rahimahullah) -in Wafaul Wafa- declared the narrators in Musnad Ahmad as reliable. (Al-Fawaidul Bahiyyah, pg.185-186)
Are there any Hadiths regarding the virtue of beginning things (such as a book) on the day of Wednesday. If so can you mention the Hadith, along with its authentication and reference?
To commence a book of knowledge on a Wednesday has been the practice of the scholars for centuries.
The Author of Al-Hidayah, the Hanafi fiqh masterpiece would also do so, and he would quote a Hadith to support it.
(Al-Fawaidul Bahiyyah, pg.32 and 185. Also see Al-Maqasidul Hasanah, Hadith: 943)
Although the latter day Muhaddithun could not locate the chain for this specific narration, this practice is still substantiated by other Hadiths whose broader meaning do lend it support.
1. The Gem of the last century, Shaykh ‘Abdul Hay Al-Laknawi (rahimahullah) has written the following:
‘I have managed to deduce a basis for this from the Hadith recorded in Bukhari’s Al-Adabul Mufrad and in Musnad Ahmad and Musnad Bazzar from Jabir (radiyallahu’anhu) who said:
‘Rasulullah (sallallahu’alayhi wasallam) had made du’a to Allah in Masjidul Fath (in Madinah) on a Monday, a Tuesday and a Wednesday. His du’a was accepted between Zuhr and ‘Asr on the Wednesday. Sayyiduna Jabir says: ‘ Whenever I had a need, I waited for that moment on a Wednesday and made du’a. Every time I did so, I noticed my du’a being accepted.’
‘Allamah Suyuti graded the narrators of this Hadith as good (jayyid) in his book: ‘Sihamul Isabah’
Shaykh Samhudi (rahimahullah) -in Wafaul Wafa- declared the narrators in Musnad Ahmad as reliable.
This Hadith points to the fact that on Wednesdays, there is a moment in which du’as are accepted. Therefore they (the Scholars) liked to commence their lessons on this day.
Since those who commence any task, generally make du’a for its easy and speedy completion, their du’as will be accepted on this day and their tasks shall be completed.’
(end of quote from Shaykh Laknawi’s (rahimahullah) book: Al-Fawaidul Bahiyyah, pg.185-186)
2. Shaykh Laknawi (rahimahullah) then cites further substantiation for this practice from Shaykh Ibn ‘Arraq Al-Kinani (rahimahullah), the author of Tanzihush Shari’ah. The summary of which is:
The Sahih Hadith (in Muslim) states that Allah Ta’ala created divine light (nur) on Wednesday, and knowledge is also termed as nur, It is therefore suitable to start our acquisition of this nur on the same day. Especially since Allah Ta’ala says: ‘…and Allah will definitely complete his nur’ (Surah Tawbah, Ayah: 32)
Commencing Islamic study on a Wednesday indeed has support from the Hadith and the constant practice of the ‘Ulama throughout the centuries, and is therefore recommended.
However, this does not forbid commencing the lesson on another day.
And Allah Ta’ala Knows best.
Answered by: Moulana Muhammad Abasoomar
This poem was written to create awareness for mental health illnesses.