I Want My Child to be a Hafidh – Book

I Want My Child to be a Hafidh – Book
“The book is profound and relevant.” Shaykh Sulaiman Moola.
Foreword by Mufti Faruq Saheb and Mufti Ibrahim Saheb Raja.
An excellent guide for parents and teachers who are struggling with hifdh kids.
Please follow the link to purchase:

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Fear of Salaf from the temptation posed by women

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Fear of Salaf from the temptation posed by women: Their piety and fear of Allah made them really scared of women.
IMG_0398 (1)Maymoon Ibn Mehran says RH: “Being entrusted to look after Baytul Maal (treasures of the whole country),  would be easier for me than being told to look after a woman” (siyar a’alam 5/77)
Ataa said: “If I was entrusted with the treasury I would prove to be a trustworthy person, however, I wouldn’t trust my ego with a woman even if she was not good looking” (Siyar 5/85)
Saeed Ibn al Musayyib says: “Whenever satan loses hope from deviating someone, he approaches them from the women’s side.
Then Saeed said while he was 84, one of his eyes had gone, and the other eye was watery: “The thing that scares me most is (looking at) women.” (Siyar 5/285)
Ibn Umar radiallahu anhu says: “It is part of the people abandoning the trust that they peep inside rooms and houses.”
Salman Farsi radiallahu anhu says: “To die and then be resurrected then die again and be resurrected, then die again and be resurrected would be easier than looking at the satr (private) of someone or that someone looks at my satr.”
Humayd Ibn Hilal says: “Among us, there was a man named Aswad Ibn Kulthum. When he would walk, his gaze would never exceed his feet. There were some chambers of a palace along the way, in which there would be some women who would have removed their headgear or part of their clothes. When he would be approaching, they would feel scared and rush to cover themselves, then they would say ‘Oh! It’s only Aswad Ibn Kulthum!'”
One of the saliheen was asked: “Where should we search for you in the hereafter?” He replied: “Among those who will be looking at Allah swt” They asked: “How can you be so certain about that?” He replied: ” Because I used to lower my gaze from forbidden stuff in the world and because I used to refrain from all sins and indecencies” (Lataaif 299)
Wakee’ RH says: “We came out with Sufyan Thawri on the day of Eid. He said: “The first thing we do today is keeping our eyes low.”
Hassan Ibn Abi Sinaan RH went out for Eid. When he returned, his wife kept pestering him “How many beautiful women did you stare at today?” When she dragged it too much, he replied “Woe unto you! Since I left home and until I returned, my eyes never moved from my toes”
Alaa Ibn Ziyad RH says: “Don’t stare at even the upper garment of a woman, because staring incites desire into the heart.”
Ibrahim Ibn Ad’ham said, “Always looking at unlawful things, takes away the recognition of Haq from the heart.”
💧خوف السلف من فتنة النساء💧
فعن أبي المليح سمعت ميمونا – أي بن مهران – يقول :
” لأن أوتمن على بيت مال أحب إلي من أن أوتمن على إمرأة ”.
📚  سير أعلام النبلاء (5/77)
و عن عطاء قال :
” لو ائتمنت على بيت مال لكنت أمينا ولا آمن نفسي على أمة شوهاء ”، قلت – أي الإمام الذهبي – : ” صدق رحمه الله”.
المصدر السابق (5/ 87-88)
و ذكر الإمام الذهبي أيضاً :
”عن سفيان بن عيينة ،عن علي بن زيد، عن سعيد بن المسِّيب، قال : ما أيِسَ الشيطان مِنْ شيء إلا أتاه مِن قِبَل النساء .
ثم قال لنا سعيد ـ وهو ابن أربع وثمانين سنة وقد ذهبت إحدى عينيه وهو يعشو بالأخرى :ما شيء أخوف عندي من النساء”.
المصدر السابق (4/237)
و ذكر أيضا : ” عن سلَّام بن مسكين :حدثنا عمران بن عبد الله الخزاعي قال: قال سعيد بن المسِّيب: ما خِفْتُ على نفسي شيئاً مخافةَ النساء ،قالوا: يا أبا محمد! إن مثلك لا يُريدُ النساء ،ولا تُريدُهُ النساء ، فقال: هو ما أقول لكم. وكان شيخاً كبيراً أعمش.
المصدر السابق (4/241)
عن أنس – رضي الله عنه – قال :
إذا مرت بك مرأة فغمض عينيك حتى تجاوزك .
📚 (الورع لابن ابي الدنيا /72).
عن إبن عمر – رضي الله عنه – قال :
من تضييع الأمانة النظر في الحجرات و الدور .
📚 (الورع لابن ابي الدنيا /71).
عن قيس إبن الحارث قال : قال سلمان –رضي الله عنه – :
لأن أموت ثم أنشر ثم أموت ثم أنشر ثم أموت ثم أنشر أحب إلي من أن أرى عورة مسلم أو ـن يراها مني .
📚 (الزهد لأحمد /192)
عن حميد بن هلال قال كان منا رجل يقال له الأسود بن كلثوم و كان إذا مشى لا يجاوز بصره قدمه و كان يمر وفي الجدر يومئذ قِصرٌ و هناك نسوة ولعل إحداهن تكون واضعة يعني ثوبها أو خمارها فإذا رأينه راعهن ثم يقلن : كلا إنه أسود بن كلثوم.
📚 (الزهد لأحمد /256).
قال حاتم :
الشهوة ثلاث شهوات : شهوة في الأكل ، وشهوة في الكلام ، وشهوة في النظر ، فاحفظ الأكل بالثقة ، واللسان بالصدق ، والنظر بالعبرة .
📚  (شعب الأيمان للبيهقي 5/5712).
قيل لبعضهم : أين نطلبك في الآخرة ؟ قال :
في زمرة الناظرين إلى الله ، قيل له كيف علمت ذلك ؟ قال بغضي طرفي له عن كل محرم ، و باجتنابي فيه كل منكر و مأثم .
📚 (لطائف المعارف /299).
عن وكيع قال :
خرجنا  مع سفيان الثوري في يوم عيد فقال : إن أول ما نبدأ به في يومنا غض ابصارنا.
📚 (الورع لابن أبي الدنيا/66).

Unapologetically Telling The Truth Is A Terrible Thing to Admire

Why do we value “unapologetically telling the truth like it is” so highly? When did this become an actual thing that we lionize and aspire to? Why do we celebrate those who do this?

What’s the point of telling it like it is, even if people hate it? And what does it say about us as a community if this is how sincerity and authenticity is expressed? When did it become some type of significant accomplishment that is lauded by others?

There’s obviously an immediate benefit. You gain notoriety, fans, social media engagement, and maybe even just enough of a following to leverage a career (or presidency) out of it.

I have noticed a trend lately, particularly in discourse about Islamic issues online, where people are being heralded and promoted for telling it like it is.

This culture appears to be an overreaction to another problem (as most extremes often are) – speaking about issues without any principles, or watering down and politicizing them. When something in regards to the religion is watered down, the perception is that this is done from a position of weakness.

By speaking the unapologetic truth harshly, a person may feel they are taking on a task for the community that others are not. They are giving voice to a perspective that may otherwise be silent. They are providing objective and accurate intellectual analysis without any emotion or sugar-coating.

Validation follows. Others encourage them for speaking up and saying the things they are unafraid to say. This makes the person feel they are taking on an important task on behalf of the ummah, and continue to do so. Then they get more fans and comments, and the cycle continues.

This validation loop, particularly online when it is in the form of likes and comments, makes it challenging to engage criticisms of this approach objectively. After all, everyone is telling you this is incredible – why should you listen to the few uptight people who are so focused on tone instead of the unapologetic truth bomb you are dropping on people?

This justification comes from prioritizing the utility of giving a correct point of view over how it is delivered – especially when this point of view is drowned out by all the people with the wrong understanding.

When given real feedback on tone or etiquette, people who pride themselves on being unapologetic or authentic will respond by deflecting this advice. Focus on the intellectual merits of the argument they’ll argue. Or they will deflect it by pointing to some type of bad character on the part of people who hold the opposing viewpoint as them. Don’t worry about my bad attitude, worry about that other person’s character instead. Or they’ll appeal to authority and declare that they already have teachers or mentors that give them advice, so they are free to dismiss comments no matter how legitimate. For people who pride themselves on being objective or intellectual, these are all profoundly childish responses.

What is billed as being authentic or unapologetic is really a mask for laziness and ego.

The Qur’an lays out a model that we’ll refer to as the ‘high-competency’ approach:

By an act of mercy from God, you [Prophet] were gentle in your dealings with them—had you been harsh, or hard-hearted, they would have dispersed and left you—so pardon them and ask forgiveness for them. Consult with them about matters, then, when you have decided on a course of action, put your trust in God: God loves those who put their trust in Him (3:159).

Where in this ayah does it appear that the approach of telling the cold hard truth would fall?

Telling the unapologetic truth without regard for how people take it is the easy way out. Anyone can do that. The problem is that it does not work. It causes people to get turned off. Those who lionize this approach will counter by saying, “so what?” They put the blame on the people who can’t handle the message instead of taking responsibility for how they deliver it.

That’s why it’s lazy. It’s a low competency form of delivering a message. The only people who celebrate it are ones that already agree with it. It does not accomplish the ultimate task of winning hearts and minds or changing someone’s viewpoint.

Instead, it puts the focus on the person giving the message – how courageous, authentic, and direct they are. This makes the communication inherently ego driven because the intended audience is now ignored. The actual content of a person’s message also gets lost as they start to craft their identity around speaking forcefully instead of effectively. They show no concern for the recipient of the message, only in themselves.

The task of winning hearts and minds, or changing someone’s ideological worldview, is not done through a hot take on Facebook. It is done as the ayah above indicates – with kindness in dealings with them.

Giving hot takes on social media builds fans and followings, not relationships. The ultimate irony is that unapologetically speaking the truth actually prevents people from developing the relationships to affect positive change in the community because no one wants to be around them.

“How well you take criticism depends less on the message and more on your relationship with the messenger. It’s surprisingly easy to hear a hard truth when it comes from someone who believes in your potential and cares about your success.” –Adam Grant

It requires the hard work of building relationships with people and building community. True leaders understand that this requires years of investment into people – not all of which will be documented on social media. Success means playing the long game.

It means going to a tyrant like Fir’awn, and still speaking kindly because the ultimate intent is different than to just tell it like it is.

It means that when the young man walks into the masjid of the Prophet (s) and asks permission to commit zina (adultery), that the Prophet (s) takes him and teaches him kindly. He could have easily reminded him about the jurisprudential rulings about adultery, and the prescribed punishment – no doubt that would be unapologetically speaking the truth. But it would not have achieved the intended outcome, so the Prophet (s) had to take the approach that would actually produce results.

But wait, what about all the times in the life of the Prophet (s) when harshness was used? Didn’t he speak the truth clearly? Yes. There are always going to be situations where this is called for strategically as a tool intended for a specific result. The problem we are highlighting is not of speaking the truth clearly, but one of expressing it in a harsh way such that people are turned off. And worse, people who respond to the harshness with cheerleading and zealousness instead of genuine care and concern for the one who is wrong to gain some sense of rectification.

There is something deeper at play here than ego or taking the easy way out. Authenticity.

Authenticity is the buzzword we use to express sincerity. When I tell it like it is, I am being authentic and sincere. Not fake. Not a sell-out.

Authenticity presents a paradox: Do you do what’s effective, or do you do what is true to yourself? We might reach a certain level of success and influence by being a certain way. The challenge is getting to the next level. If that means suddenly changing how I communicate or speaking with what I term to be watered down political jargon, then no thanks. This is the mindset that allows us to morally justify our unapologetic approach, and actually double down on it when told to act otherwise.

Authenticity is a barrier to personal growth. We use this idea of it representing sincerity as an excuse to keep from changing. We have to shift from delivering the information people need to know (low-level) to creating the conditions of increasing learning (high-level).

This requires putting in the work to change our approach and character.

The Prophet (s) said that ‘the two characteristics that led the most people into Paradise were consciousness of Allah and good character’ (Tirmidhi).

Don’t let anyone subvert this in the name of unapologetically speaking the truth.

Low competency individuals are drawn to telling it like it is. High competency individuals are attracted to painting the vision of how things could be – and building the bridge to help and serve people in getting there.

https://www.ibnabeeomar.com/blog/unapologetically-telling-the-truth-is-a-terrible-thing-to-admire

 

he-tells-it-like-it-is-paul-not

Patience

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

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We should all prepare a place in our hearts and minds where we can accommodate all the current tragedies and then further disasters which will sooner or later come to our lives, but this is an economy that few people care to practice.
I’m not trying to be pessimistic. Our Prophet ﷺ was not seeking forgiveness all the time because he was a sinner, and neither did His Lord command him regularly to be patient because his entire life was a completely unrelenting tragedy.
It wasn’t.
But it would be a real tragedy for *us* if we were only to think that to be in a blessed state of humbling ourselves before Allah, or to be told to be patient, is only applicable when we are in a bad moment, or a rut in life, or a mid-life crisis.
Patience is realism. It is understanding that whatever we are experiencing at the moment – whether we perceive it to be good or bad – is all ultimately a test on whether you stay *real* or not, whether you correctly attribute the blessings you can and cannot see, to the One who gave them to you. And thank Him for them regardless.
That’s why being patient and worshipping your Lord in a consistent, deep, quality manner during your good times is far more difficult than in the bad times. You can’t see the problem. You can’t feel the grief you need to be patient with. The heart doesn’t feel enough pain to kick in the patience reflex. You don’t feel the need to thank Allah because things are so good “without Him”.
That’s why Shaykhul Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (Allah have peace on him) termed this type of patience the more challenging and the more rewarding. Think about it: the majority of the world’s population have failed in this type of patience. And worse, Allah tells us that He continues to bless them with the dunya and good times and that they’ll continue in their heedlessness and leave this life whilst actually being content with their disbelief.
That is why when we see those who have been blessed with so much in this life and yet they still preserve their values, their Deen, their thanks to their Creator, and their thanks and connection to the normal folks around them, then we still call this “patience” even though it may not seem so. And what do we say about this person? “He still keeps it *real*.” That’s why patience is a permanent state we must incorporate in our lives, and we must create that space where we are always alert and aware. As I said, patience is realism.
This is thus the development of patience. This is why anyone who truly understands patience, has truly understood Islam, reality, and life itself.
regression
#ProtectThisHouse Shaykh Abu Eesa Niamatullah
سئل الإمام أحمد بن حنبل : ألم تصدك المحن عن الطريق ؟!
قال : والله لولا المحن ؛ لشككت في الطريق ..!
ان الله لا يبتليك بشيءٍ إلا كان خيراً لك .. وإن ظننت العكس ..!
أرح قلبك .. فلولا البلاء لكان يوسف مدللاً في حضن أبيه ..
ولكنه مع البلاء صار عزيز مصر ..!
ومن المنفى رجع موسى نبيا…!!!!
ورجع سيدنا محمد من المهجر سيد الخلق فاتحا..!!
أفيضيق صدرك بعد هذا ؟!
كونوا على يقين أن هناك شيءٌ جميلٍ ينتظركم بعد #الصبر
ليبهركم وينسيكم مرارة الألم
Imam Ahmed was once asked: ‘ did your trials not stop you from keeping steadfast on His ( Allah’) path? ‘
Imam Ahmed replied: ‘ if it were not for my trials I would have doubted this path, Allah only tests us with what’s good for us, even if we think otherwise’.
Put your heart at ease… if it were not for trials Prophet Yusuf AS would have been spoilt in the arms of his father but his trials made him the Chief of Egypt!
And out of exile musa AS returned a Prophet!
And Prophet Muhammed return from Hijrah a messenger to the whole of creation, opening Mecca and many other cities.
Never have doubt that what befalls us maybe better for us and what never doubt that something beautiful awaits with patience….
( Mini Mission Reminders )